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Talk:Roza Shanina/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:37, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this article shortly. From a scan it sounds like a very interesting person. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:37, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

  • "Roza with her fellow girl" fellow girls?
  • "Roza sometimes returned from her fellow countrymen of Ustya Raion" not sure what is meant here.
  • Soviet institutes of secondary education sounds like it should be all capitalized, but I could be wrong.
  • All the paragraphs starting with dates feels repetitive; mix it up a bit.
  • there are times where use a comma after a year and times you don't (i.e. june 22, 1944 and june 24, 1944,); make it consistent.
  • "In May, 1944" when it's just the day and month a comma isn't needed.
  • "Shanina was awarded the Order of Glory 3rd class for actions in the battle for the village Kozyi Gory" for her actions...village of Kozyi
  • "during that time, from April 6 to April 11," during that time not needed.
  • "To preserve military secrecy in her diary Shanina termed the killed and wounded "blacks" and "reds", respectively" cite preferred for this
  • "Shanina was among the first woman snipers" first female snipers sounds better to me here.
  • "she regretted for having done so little." for not needed
  • "She is the only person, killed in these places, whose body was not transferred in 1953 to the mass grave of Soviet soldiers" neither comma needed.
  • "Sergey was also killed, leaving Marat as the only surviving brother." I'd clarify that you post onyl surviving brother from the war; at least I assume that's what you meant. That paragraph should be cited as well.
  • I would request a copyedit; ask either at WP:GOCE or WP:MILHIST (the latter might be better since goce is a couple weeks backlogged right now) as the prose is quite rough in some spots. It's not so bad that I would fail this, but it's enough to keep me from passing it.

I'll put the article on hold for a week. By then the issues should be fixed and a copyedit requested. I'll pass the article when all that is fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 05:40, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

All issues are fixed now and the request has been made (Wikipedia:WikiProject_Military_history/Logistics/Copy-editing/Requests). Brandmeister t 14:09, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Ok. I just noticed that that page looks unused, so the WP:GOCE request might be the better route after all (only a couple edits after 2009 on that one) Wizardman Operation Big Bear 16:29, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Submitted there. Brandmeister t 19:38, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Copyedit completed. Brandmeister t 12:11, 5 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Horny

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While the nickname is amusing it seems a little out of character, perhaps a bit demeaning given the subject's life. In any case it might be more proprer -and informative- if the original Russian word in cyrillic and transliterated to Roman/English were used also. I have looked around for more info myself, but I clearly don't have the resources the original author had/has. Bunnyman78 (talk) 00:17, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The source doesn't provide the original Russian version, the nickname was probably given by English-speaking Allies. Brandmeister t 23:40, 21 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
What is the original Russian version? I tried looking for it, but as far as I see the websites don't have it. —  HELLKNOWZ  ▎TALK 06:40, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]