Talk:Roy Kilner/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: –Grondemar 15:52, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Working Will complete the review within the next few days. –Grondemar 15:52, 18 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have completed my review; the article is excellently written and referenced. I have the following comments that I'd like to see addressed before I pass this good article review:

In the First World War section (which I renamed from "Career in the First World War" since elsewhere the term Career is used to talk about his cricket career and there's no mention of cricket in the section), there's a paragraph talking about Kilner playing football that seems disjointed to the rest of the section. Perhaps there is a better location for it, especially as it appears to begin before World War I does.
In the test section, I assume he was playing his test matches with England? It mentions him coaching in India immediately before talking about the tests, but he didn't play for India, did he?
M.C.C. - what does that stand for?
The Death section is unclear—it says that Kilner was taken by ambulance to Wombwell, refused to be treated in Southampton, and then arrived in Wombwell. Perhaps a re-ordering of sentences is needed.
In the Style and personality section, how exactly was his batting "unorthodox to the point to being eccentric"? This section could use some polishing.
It's not required for GA, but it would be nice to have a photo or two of the man; most of them should be PD by age.

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
I'm placing this review on hold until the above concerns can be addressed.

Thanks for your patience. –Grondemar 02:03, 27 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

He seems to have goen AWOL. I can do the easy tweaks YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 04:49, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've done it all except the "eccentric" part. I'm guessing Sarastro couldn't find more info, as his articles are usually very long eg Douglas Jardine. It probably means a highly idosyncratic stance, style of swinging his bat, etc. As for the picture. UK has 70yrs after death, so unless the photographer died in 1940, it isn't allowed. Most sports photographers are usually young, and Kilner played in the 1920s, so most photographers would be alive YellowMonkey (vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 05:12, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed the "eccentric" bit. Thanks to YM for the rest. --Sarastro1 (talk) 07:49, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks really good, thanks for addressing my concerns. I'm going to

pass this article for GA. Excellent work! –Grondemar 16:23, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]