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Talk:Ron Hamence with the Australian cricket team in England in 1948/GA1

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GA Review

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I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:34, 14 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    a couple of things that aren't clear. Would be nice to have a bit more in the lead, but that won't hold it back from GA if it can't be done.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Specific concerns

  • Lead feels a bit skimpy. Any chance of adding a sentence or two to the first and last paragraphs, which are only two sentences each?
Added a bit. Not sure how to fit the first paragraph though. YellowMonkey (click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 01:36, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Okay, I"m not a big cricket fan (heck, I'm not any cricket fan) but this sentence doesn't make sense..."Hamence was overlooked for the Fifth Test, as Australia won by an innings to seal the series 4–0." (Test-non selection section, last paragraph, last sentence). If there are five tests, how'd they win the series 4-0? Is this a typo? If it's not, please explain.
Third Test was drawn. YellowMonkey (click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 01:36, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the lead you said "Regarded as the last batsman to be selected for the team, his choice for the tour was the subject of controversy." but it's not really developed how this was a controversy. Suggest either developing it or rewording the lead sentence.
Clarified. YellowMonkey (click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 01:36, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 22:51, 14 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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