Talk:Roman Quinn/GA1
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Larry Hockett (talk · contribs) 19:09, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
I'll be happy to pick up this review. Comments to come in the next few days. Thanks for the work that has already gone into this entry. Larry Hockett (Talk) 19:09, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
I'll go section by section and leave feedback. If I make any suggestions that fall outside of the GA criteria, I'll try to note that those are optional. It looks like the nominator has been quite prolific in the GA arena lately, so I would have no concerns about leaving this nomination open for a good while if a breather is needed.
Some preliminaries
[edit]The article is stable and appears to be neutral from a quick readthrough. The images have the appropriate captions and license information; Quinn appears tiny in the last two images, but I can understand using them because they are neat action photos. To check copyright, I checked Earwig's tool (returned only one Wikipedia mirror and nothing of concern) and inserted some random phrases into Google (returned nothing of concern).
Lead
[edit]- "Despite a desire to remain healthy in the 2017 season" - Can assume that all players want to remain healthy. If he took special precautions (like changing his workout routine) to avoid injury, that would be worth noting. Otherwise, I think you can leave this out.
- Rephrased to say that he told reporters his number one goal was to stay healthy. It's true that every athlete wants to remain healthy; however, you can contrast with someone like J. T. Realmuto, who said that his #1 goal in 2020 was to play in every game. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
- 2018 spring training - Just reads a little funny. Maybe "at spring training in 2018".
Early life
[edit]- Might be worth briefly noting what sports his parents played (and at what levels).
- I have searched through hell and high water for this information. Ultimately rephrased to say "athletic background". Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
- "As a high school baseball player, Baseball America named Quinn" - grammar issue. Baseball America isn't a high school player. Since the sport is clear from the title of the publication, maybe just leave out "As a high school baseball player".
- Fixed. Specified that it was when he was a senior in high school, though, instead of just vaguely as a high school player. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
Minor league career
[edit]- "signed Quinn in the second round" - players are drafted (selected, picked, etc) at the draft; signing, if it happens, comes later
- "Because he did not sign with the team until the deadline, Quinn could not start" - consider specifying what the deadline was; sounds like he may have signed after a deadline unless I'm misunderstanding
- Reworded to the best of my ability. He did sign before said deadline, but it was right at that cutoff. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
- "Despite batting right-handed playing in the outfield" - missing and after "right-handed"?
- "At the time, he accumulated four home runs" - had accumulated?
- Switched to "recorded" Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
Phillies
[edit]- "Quinn displayed his prowess" - I think this borders on non-neutral and it's too vague to be helpful. I would omit it.
- Reworded. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
- "Less than a week afterwards, Quinn registered" - Since you give both dates, I don't think you need to explain that it's less than a week.
- "He pitched a shutout 14th inning " - scoreless 14th inning, as a shutout implies a complete game
- "leading to a season-high four stolen bases in one game" - Clarify. The team stole four bases in one game and that was a season high for the Phillies? Or was it the most by one MLB team all year?
- Source was vague. I assumed for the team Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
Player profile
[edit]- "Quinn, comparatively shorter than" - "shorter than" (by itself) makes it apparent that there is a comparison. I'd omit "comparatively", especially since you mention comparisons in a different context later in the sentence.
- "Because of his smaller frame, combined with his strong sprint speed" - I would rephrase this for grammar purposes. Lofton is slender but Quinn is the one with the small frame, I think. Something like "Former MLB outfielder Kenny Lofton helped Quinn to develop a batting style that would take advantage of his small frame and quick sprint speed ..."
Personal life
[edit]- How was Quinn impacted by the hurricane?
I think most of these issues will be easy to resolve, as they mostly involve grammar or redundant wording. Once these issues are resolved, I may read through the entry one more time, but I will likely fix any remaining minor issues myself.
Thanks for the good work that has already gone into this entry. It's a pretty sad story, but I'll be pulling for Quinn to have a great season in 2022. Larry Hockett (Talk) 03:50, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
- Larry Hockett I was heartbroken when I saw Quinn go down in that game. I'm hoping he can pull through and start playing next year. In any case, I've addressed all of your comments (re: the pictures, I can try to crop them, but I do think they're good action shots, as you said). Let me know if there's anything else I can do. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:35, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
- Great work. I did some light copyediting. I am passing this since it meets all of the criteria, as indicated below.
- GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Passing. A pleasure to read. Thanks for the work. Larry Hockett (Talk) 04:27, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail: