Talk:Rockstar 101/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Spiceitup08 (talk • message • contribs • count • logs • email) 10:38, 2 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Will start soon :) --FeuDeJoie (talk) 10:38, 2 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks :) Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 17:46, 2 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

the song - The...
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
fourth overall single, fourth single overall, from

Not sure what you mean by this? This isn't in the Lead. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!

and was written - new sentence
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
The song met with negative to mixed reviews from music critics - Doesn't read well, maybe change to mixed at best or something.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
and criticized the inclusion of featuring Slash on the song, calling it an "afterthought". - and criticized the inclusion of Slash on the song, calling it an "afterthought".
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
As the video did not feature Slash in the music video - did not feature Slash.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
in the attire of a rock star - In rock star attire,
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
personality, as well - New sentence - As well...
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
first and only time live - only televised performance.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 13:55, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Background and composition

"Rockstar 101" features a guitar performance by British-American musician and songwriter and former lead guitarist of the American hard rock band Guns N' Roses, Slash.[1] - This needs to be moved to the end of the section, with the credits.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
It really doesn't say much about the composition, it discusses theme but has no information on structure, is there anything on Musicnotes.com that you can add? Or maybe any critical responses relating to the composition?
There is nothing on Musicnotes.com, that is always my first port of call when writing about the composition, but there isn't anything. I can request that they do one for Rockstar 101, but they might not do it. (They did for Cheers (Drink to That) on my request, though). There isn't anything related to the Composition in the reviews either. The most I could find was what genres the song incorporates, and what genres the Remixes incorporates. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:01, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

negative to mixed reviews by music critics - Rephrase, doesn't read well.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
Start new sentence. - Leah...
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
The ET review really says very little, could you expand the review?
That is literally all she says about the song. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
The LA times review, is too long, I'm not saying remove the information but maybe you could rephrase what she is saying and take it out of quotation. This critical response is exactly what I mean could be added to the composition section, you could merge critical reception and composition into one section? Just a thought.
Done What do you think? Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
Popmatters is just a website right? So should it be in italics?
It isn't italicised here. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
Plus... Can you expand the response, it is very short and adds little to the article.
Done I have added in a few more reviews, but surprisingly not many of the album reviews had anything written about the song. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
Love the Bill Lamb review, but generally it is a mixed response from critics. In the section responses are predominately positive.
Positive? They all say negative things about the song, hardly any positive. "aggressive", "one of the weaker songs on Rated R", "end the streak of three consecutive top 10 pop hits from the album", "difficult to see "Rockstar 101" endearing itself to a wide spectrum of pop fans listening to the radio". I think mixed is most appropriate. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:30, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Chart performance

best selling singles - remove this.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:31, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Generally the section is pretty good!

Music video

Scens - Typo?
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
as well as in a snow-forest scene. - Huh, it doesn't really link to Fannie Schiavoni you need to move it!
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
predominantly guitar strings - remove this, parts of a guitar sums it up.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:33, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

for the first and only time live - Again state it is the only televised performance.
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon!
black flying v guitar - quote marks issue!
Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:34, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

12 and 22, italics issue.
Nielssn Media - Typo
17, 18 and 19, whats with the multiple quote marks?
19, you need to fix the reference.
23, you don't need to include capitals in title.
Done But check them again please. I added in new sources before I changed these, so you order of references here is now different. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:41, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Overall It's actually quite a good read, aside from the issues i've picked out. If you dont understand something I've written or want to contest anything, write on my talk page. Ta --FeuDeJoie (talk) 13:37, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I was thinking, the Lead is quite short, so do you think I should make it into two paragraphs instead of three? Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 14:41, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a detailed look in a bit, but I think the lead should remain three paragraphs, it is easier to understand, para 1: Background and composition, para 2: Reception and para 3 is about promotion. I don't think there is any need to change it. --FeuDeJoie (talk) 15:47, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Okay thanks. Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 15:49, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Im looking through and the only issue I have is the music video, I don't believe it should have subsections, they are too small. Change it and I think were done here!:) ...PS good job you messaged me. Almost forgot! --FeuDeJoie (talk) 18:13, 6 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Done Calvin • ^NaNaNaC'mon! 12:56, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]