Talk:Rochus Misch/GA1
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Reviewer: Jonas Vinther (talk · contribs) 22:04, 25 June 2015 (UTC)
Kierzek, you should have told this was up for GA-review and I would have reviewed it right away. Well, no worries; I'll get to this first thing tomorrow where I'll have plenty of time. :) Jonas Vinther • (Click here to collect your price!) 22:04, 25 June 2015 (UTC)
- Lede definitely needs expansion. With the length, and especially comprehensiveness, of this article it shouldn't be too hard Done
- "Unterscharführer" in the caption of the infobox image should be italicized Done
- "now Stare Siołkowice, Opole Voivodeship, Poland" write all this in brackets Done
- "1937–1945" in the infobox should be written as "1937-45" per WP:DATEFORMAT Done
- "Oberscharführer" should also be italicized Done
- "SS-Verfügungstruppe" italicize this also Done
- Consider including the abbreviation of both the Leibstandarte and Führerbegleitkommando in the infobox Done tweaked
- "Daughter Brigitta Jacob-Engelken" write this as "Brigitta Jacob-Engelken (daughter)" Done
- "Misch was born" tweak this to "Rochus Misch was born". Also, mention date of birth instead of just the birthplace Done
- It could just be the fact I'm not a native speaker of English, but "pneumonia" strikes as the kind of word that should be linked; that is, unless you, a native speaker of English, feel differently Done
- "His older brother Bruno died after an accident which occurred in May 1922" any details about the accident? Car accident? Military accident? Fire accident? If not, just leave it as it is Done
- "with the firm of Schmüller and Model" tweak this to "with the firm of Schmüller & Model" as I'm sure that is how the firm title is promoted Done
- "Misch attended the Masters' School for Fine Arts in Cologne" link Cologne Done
- "After six months, he returned to Hoyerswerda to continue his training" this is the first time the article mentions "Hoyerswerda" so curb the "he returned" bit or tweak it Done tweaked it, see what you think.
- "They had a daughter, Brigitta Jacob-Engelken who has supported Jewish causes" if she supported Jewish courses later after the war, mention that, or mention that she supported Jewish courses during the Third Reich, whatever one is correct ***good point- Done
- "his regiment was attached to XIII Army Corps" add "the" just before XIII Army Corps Done
- "a part of the Eighth Army" write it as "8th Army" Done
- "This was made up of SS members, including men from the LSSAH who no longer had to serve on the front lines" add a comma just after LSSAH Done
- "Misch was transferred to the FBK on 2 or 3 May 1940" tweak to "Misch was transferred to the FBK in early May 1940" Done
- I would strongly recommend change the section title form "Service" to "World War II" or "World War II service" or something similar Done tweaked it to "Military service" because part of the time was before the war in Europe started with a sub-section entitled "World War II"
- "By that date, as the Red Army was entering Berlin, Joseph Goebbels and his wife Magda" tweak to "By that date, as the Red Army was entering Berlin, propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels and his wife Magda" Done
- "brought their six young children" link Goebbels children Done
- "On 30 April, Hitler and Eva Braun committed suicide" mention they got married 40 hours before. Like, "On 30 April, Hitler and Eva Braun, having married each other 40 hours previously, committed suicide" Done added to and tweaked it
- "he could leave" tweak to "he was free to leave" Done
- "Misch was brought to the Lubyanka Prison in Moscow, where he was tortured in an attempt to extract information regarding Hitler's exact fate" might be a good idea to mention that the international media, and especially Stalin, was extremely interested in theories about Hitler's possible escape and believed early on he didn't die in the bunker! Done
- "At the time, Misch's wife Gerda" write either "Misch's wife" or "Gerda", not both; her name and the fact she was his wife has already been explained earlier on Done
- "worked as a teacher in Neukolln" link Neukolln Done
- "Gerda died in 1998" of natural causes? Any info on this? Done
- "Misch managed his shop until his retirement at age 68" also mention what year he retired Done
- "Brigitta's maternal grandmother told her that her mother Gerda was Jewish. Misch refused to acknowledge it" find this sentence somewhat confusion! Gerda was his wife and he never once asked her about her religious beliefs? Furthermore, it's a widely known fact among Nazi Germany buffs that brides of SS men also had to prove that they were of pure Aryan ancestry which obviously wouldn't have worked for Gerda is she was Jewish! I suppose it's possible that Hitler's fondness for Misch maybe led to an exception (like did for other half-Jews), but then that would most likely be a known fact. In any case, tweak the wording about let me know what you come up with. Done
- "J'étais garde du corps d'Hitler 1940–1945 (I was Hitler's bodyguard 1940–1945) in March 2006, ISBN 2253121541" include the ISBN number in the brackets Done
- "the 2008 film Valkyrie, a depiction of the 20 July plot" tweak to "the 2008 film Valkyrie, a Hollywood depiction of the 20 July plot" as tens of movies have been made about the 20 July plot. Fixed
- "Misch is portrayed by actor Heinrich Schmieder" why is this specific part written in italics? None of the other "Misch is portrayed by actor" sentences are written in italics. ***Just a minor overlooked sentence error. Fixed
- Merely a suggestion, but I would write "Sources" instead of "Bibliography", but this is just a tiny detail. Done
- All in all, this article doesn't need much editing to pass for GA-status. Looks nicely written. Please ping me when you have responded to my points and I'll take a final look at it. Best, Jonas Vinther • (Click here to collect your price!) 18:21, 26 June 2015 (UTC)
@Jonas Vinther:, I am done with the above. Kierzek (talk) 04:54, 27 June 2015 (UTC)
- Kierzek, the article looks much better now. I'm passing it, excellent job. That being said, it would be worth mentioning his wife in the lead and add some more images to the body text of the article, but overall it's very good! Jonas Vinther • (Click here to collect your price!) 11:29, 27 June 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Cheers, Kierzek (talk) 14:10, 27 June 2015 (UTC)