Talk:Robert Stuart Nathan

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Sources

(Moved from my talk page to here) i think you will find now the in-line citations and footnotes that you requested in your notification on the above-noted biographical page. There are more citations to come, but if there are specific ones you need or if these are not sufficient so that you can remove your warning at the top of the page, please let me know at WKBENCHINC@aol.com. Thank you. Alex Davidson RSN813 (talk) 09:17, 29 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Yes it now has inline citations, so I removed that tag. My edit summary lists the things I fixed and my concerns e.g. by only adding internal links to other RSN articles this seems too advert like/promo and I tagged as such. I added a couple of links, but more should be added. For how to edit with a WP:COI & your required WP:username change I responded on your talk page. We prefer to communicate onwiki - see WP:OFFWIKI. You will also want to checkout MOS:REF for improving the formatting of the refs. Widefox; talk 11:59, 29 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions

I came here because it was mentioned elsewhere. The first thing that caught my attention was the lede. It contains too much detail and puffery in my opinion.

The other thing that caught my attention was that the article quickly lost my attention. Seriously. Try to read the thing. It needs more work by someone adept familiar with prose and less work from someone skilled at resume writing.

I can try to help but I'll hold off while this occupies the drama boards. - UnbelievableError (talk) 04:08, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]