Talk:Robert M. La Follette/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 17:29, 1 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article as part of the July 2021 good article nominations backlog drive! Any section that I've marked with a Working tag means that I haven't finished leaving comments there, but you're free to begin making changes as soon as you see them! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 17:29, 1 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

Per WP:LEADCITE, ledes don't normally have citations, but direct quotes should be linked, particularly the one about being "the most celebrated leader in Wisconsin history".

Early life

Comma after "in 1862"
Specify that he graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree
Also specify that the student paper was called the University Press

Early political career

WL district attorney
Pipe "embezzled" to embezzlement
Change the pipe on Scandinavian to Nordic and Scandinavian Americans
"bribed some" → "bribed certain"
Mention the name of the man he defeated in 1900

Governor of Wisconsin

"when he announced that he would resign as governor" → "when he announced his resignation"
WL James O. Davidson and Irvine Lenroot

Senator

Roosevelt administration

Replace parentheses with commas in second sentence
"sixteen consecutive" → "16 consecutive" per MOS:NUMBERS

Taft administration

"senators except" → "senators except for"
Switch the "In consultation with..." and "in January 1911" clauses
""and Wendell Phillips."" → ""and Wendell Phillips"." per MOS:LQ
Mention when exactly the autobiography came out, so we can understand how that might have affected the presidential election
"would undergo surgery" → "required surgery"

Wilson administration

The bit about foreign policy seems tacked on in its current state; if possible, try to expand and split into a different paragraph
Replace hyphen with en dash for the 373–50 vote
Comma after "After the U.S. declared war"
"during 1917 and 1918" → "throughout this period"
""struggling to establish an industrial democracy."" → ""struggling to establish an industrial democracy"." per MOS:LQ

Harding administration

"La Follette retained influence in Wisconsin after the war" (or some such time qualifier)
Need a reference for the death date of Harding and subsequent succession by Coolidge
The last paragraph is a hell of a run-on sentence

1924 Presidential campaign

No dash in African Americans
Comma after "stating that,"
WL Louis Brandeis and associate justice, and specify that it was SCOTUS, not, say, the WI Supreme Court

Death

Perhaps worth mentioning that the heart disease was complicated by bronchitis and pneumonia
WL to Forest Hill Cemetery (Madison, Wisconsin)
Also mention that he was still in office at the time of his death

Legacy

Either WL Philip and Robert in the first sentence, or don't mention their names until later
""the most celebrated figure in Wisconsin history."" → ""the most celebrated figure in Wisconsin history"." per MOS:LQ

Memorials

Everything after the painting in the Senate is currently unreferenced

References

There is currently an awkward split on the Bibliography side, where at first glance it looks like there are no specialty studies. It might be preferable to use column tags rather than reflist tags here
On that note, the bibliography section should probably be called "Further reading", as "Bibliography" is usually used for what you have listed as "Works cited"

General comments

Broadness, focus, neutrality, and stability all shake out
Pictures are available for use and are relevant to the article
Mention somewhere in the body how he came by the nickname "Fighting Bob"
Include the years in which he was governor and senator in the headers for those respective sections
Earwig score looks good at 32.9%, with the higher ones coming from direct, attributed quotes. I also spot checked some of the offline sources.

Great work so far! Mostly just small MOS things and a few silly mistakes that happen with an article of this length. Putting on hold now, and let me know if you have any questions! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 19:44, 1 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No changes made to article in over a week. Only activity from user since April has been two RfA votes. Closing this one as a fail, unfortunately. — Ghost River 01:21, 11 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]