Talk:Robert De Niro/GA2
GA Review
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Reviewer: Binksternet (talk · contribs) 18:24, 22 September 2020 (UTC)
- Reviewing... Binksternet (talk) 18:24, 22 September 2020 (UTC)
- Just about all of the GA1 issues have been fixed.
- Let's demote "Major League Baseball" to the article body, leaving just "baseball" or "professional baseball" in the lead section, without a wikilink.
done
- Wording improvement needed at the sentence "For his portrayal of Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver (1976), and a soldier in the Vietnam War drama The Deer Hunter, both roles earned him an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor." It should be more like "For his portrayal... he earned two Academy Award nominations for Best Actor."
- made a revision
- The next sentence could be tweaked, the one that ends "...won him a second Academy Award, for Best Actor." Can we emphasize the win somehow? One suggestion: "...won him a second Academy Award, his first Best Actor trophy."
- made a revision
- Can we call Rosenthal a producer at first appearance? "Partner" is already implied by co-founder context.
- done
- A small bit of copyvio: Vanity Fair wrote "the Cowardly Lion in a school production of The Wizard of Oz." We can change "school production" to something else or rejigger the sentence.
- made a revision
- I'm having trouble with the URL https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/Robert%20De%20Niro-703.html .... I think it needs to be deleted or updated to https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/Robert+De+Niro-703.html
- made a revision
- The words "and then later" can be trimmed to "and later".
- done
- Why don't I love the following wording? "De Niro's early roles, although minor, were found..." Help me out.
- made a revision
- I would remove the first Rotten Tomatoes appearance from Godfather II because the 1998 review site has no relevance to De Niro's career in the 1970s. I would describe the second appearance of Rotten Tomatoes as a retrospective review for Stanley & Iris.
- made a revision
- Sentence tweaks needed. The second bullet shows my suggested fixes:
- It was De Niro's first Academy win and Coppola accepted the award on his behalf as he did not attend the ceremony. He and Marlon Brando, who played the older Vito Corleone in the first film, were the first pair of actors to win Academy Awards for portraying the same fictional character.
- It was De Niro's first Academy win; Coppola accepted the award on his behalf as he did not attend the ceremony. De Niro and Marlon Brando, who played the older Vito Corleone in the first film, were the first pair of actors to win Academy Awards for portraying the same fictional character.
- made a revision
- Wording to be fixed: "highlighted" in the phrase "The critic from The Hollywood Reporter highlighted". How about the critic "declared that", "suggested that", or "observed that"?
- made a revision
- Spelling: "garnered praised" should be "garnered praise".
- made a revision
- To keep the references in numerical order, switch the positions of the two references following the sentence "He studied acting at HB Studio and Lee Strasberg's Actors Studio."
- done
- Comma after "Caesars Palace, Las Vegas".
- done
- The still image of 1900 prominently shows Dominique Sanda playing Ada, the French wife of De Niro's Italian character Alfredo. Can we put her in the caption somehow? There's another person partially obscured on the left, but I don't think the caption needs to mention him. Per WP:Caption we should draw the reader in to read more, to pique their curiosity. Perhaps we can say, "De Niro and Dominique Sanda (right) play a married couple in the film 1900; he cannot satisfy her."
- made a revision
- That image of 1900 ought to be placed within the section containing the paragraph mentioning it, per MOS:ACCIM. With the move of the 1900 film image to a different section, you might want to fiddle with image placement generally. A lot of the images do not correspond to article text, and are thus flexible in placement.
- done
- A bunch of nowiki HTML codes have been used for possessive apostrophes following an italic name. These can be replaced with Template:' or Template:'s which are coded as {{'}} and {{'s}}.
- I may have misunderstood this but I did try to make a correction to the apostrophes.. please help if it's easier!
- The article's dash style is apparently established as spaced en dashes. The Wilmington and Hinson blockquotes are spaced en dashes. If I'm right about the preferred style being en dash, we need to change the other kind. To maintain dash style per MOS:CONFORM and MOS:DASH, the em dash should be changed for a spaced en dash for breaks in thought: "this kid doesn’t just act—he takes"... "detonated the screen—now plays"... "god-awful—yet his" ... "of which De Niro portrayed one—Lloyd Barker" ... "transforming himself—physically, vocally, psychologically—with each new role". (The Lloyd Barker bit could be set off with just a colon and space.) The Tyler Hersko reference from Indiewire should not have a spaced em dash. The "F— Trump" em dash is okay in the People magazine ref. Any instance of two hyphens in a reference title should be one en dash.
- done - I've used spaced en dashes throughout the article now
- The property tax paragraph has a quote from Wiegand paraphrasing Harvey. Can we snug this stuff up some more? Here I have the current wording followed by possible shortened version:
- A short time later, his lawyer met with town officials, at De Niro's direction, and offered them withdrawal of the suit and $129,000 in reimbursement for the town's legal bills, paid by the accounting firm. "[He] made it very clear that De Niro didn't want to screw the town, that he didn't know about any of it and that he wanted it settled as quickly as possible," Wiegand said.
- De Niro quickly directed his lawyer, Tom Harvey, to withdraw the suit and reimburse the town's legal bills of $129,000. Harvey conveyed to Wiegand that "De Niro didn't want to screw the town".
- made a revision - as per your suggestion and a few other copyedits here
- The external link to tribecafilm.com should say explicitly that it is Tribeca Film's website rather than implying it is De Niro's personal website. Let's not say it is De Niro's "Official website".
- done
- One category is not supported by article text: Category:Chevaliers of the Légion d'honneur. Remove the category or add text to support it.
- Same with Category:Method actors.
- The Democrats category is for people who have explicitly declared party membership. It's not enough to have voted for or supported Democratic Party candidates. We should remove the category or add text to say he declared himself a member of the Democratic Party.
- Remove the category of Molisan descent as it is already in the De Niro family category.
- done - categories removed
- That's my review. I'll hold for comments and tweaks. This review includes some Feature Article–level stuff, getting you closer to that goal. Binksternet (talk) 22:51, 22 September 2020 (UTC)
- Pinging Lizzy150. Let's do this. Binksternet (talk) 22:58, 22 September 2020 (UTC)
Thanks for reviewing! L150 21:43, 23 September 2020 (UTC)