Talk:Rhys Williams (Torchwood)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 21:06, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Will review soon. Glimmer721 ^talk 21:06, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

"Rhys' role is increased after the second series; actor Kai Owen is given star billing from Children of Earth onwards" - unlink Kai Owen as he was just linked above; maybe explain that Children of Earth was a serial that made up the third sereis
- Done, put in parenthesis.
"The character has went on" → "The character has gone on"
- Fixed
"a 2011 BBC/Starz co-production" - BBC doesn't need to be linked again
- unlinked
Anwen is linked in the plot summary section, but not the intro
- linked in intro too. Also linked Gwen in first section of summary for consistency.
"a contrast to Torchwood's activities and it's charismatic leader Jack Harkness" - "it's" should be "its", and link Jack
- done.
Plot summary for "End of Days": briefly explain what the rift is, as it is the first time it has been mentioned. Unless it wasn't the rift after all that erased it from history...
- mentioned time reset and it being a space-time rift. Think that's all that's needed given that it doesn't relate to much else in the article.
"Rhys becomes a main character in the third series of Torchwood, a five-part miniseries called Children of Earth airing in 2009." Add bolded word
- done
"Series four, Miracle Day (2011) begins..." Comma after "(2011)"
- done
"and also has a significant role in The Twilight Streets, (Released March 2008)..." The R in "released" should be lowercase
- done
"...after the Torchwood Team fall are destroyed fighting..." Not sure what the word "fall" is doing there
- removed
"Rhys makes an appearance in the Torchwood Radio Play..." Don't think "radio play" needs to be capitalized
- removed capitals and linked
"With Gwen dead, and Jack missing Rhys is..." No comma after "dead"
- removed.
"Rhys also appears in "The Devil and Miss Carew", (2011) an additional radio play, set between" comma after "(2011)" instead of the title; no comma after "play"
- fixed
"and that his girlfriends job is nothing more unusual" - "girlfriends" should be "girlfriend's"
- heh, fixed
The original intention of the writers had been for Rhys to die at the end of season one but Richard Stokes explains that it was overruled by show creator Russell T Davies" Comma after "season one", link RTD
- done
"Actor Kai Owen attributes part of his character's success to his on screen rapport with actress Eve Myles." Hyphen in "on-screen"
- done
"After reprisal from death Russell T Davies felt" - comma after "death"
- done
Shorten "Russell T Davies" to "Davies" in the second paragraph of "Characterisation"
- done
Stephen James Walker is linked twice in "Characterisation"
- delinked second occurance
"opining that he, along with Barrowman, Myles and David Lloyd managed..." Isn't there a hyphen in "David-Lloyd"?
- yep
"Speaking of the shows fourth series premiere" - "shows" should be "show's"
- fixed
References: episode citation should have the "seriesno" and "number" parameters filled out. Also, clarify the titles of the credited people (writer, director, etc)
- added series/episode numbers and titles in brackets.
Could the Torchwood Magazine refs be expanded with more parameters filled out?
- Google is a wonderful thing.
Ref #49 and #71 need accessdates
- Put todays. (#48 and #70 since I took a redundant news article out of the series four plot section)
Ref #72 needs a publisher
- Added. (#71)
Disambiguation links
- Fixed.
This warns that ref #74 will expire; might want to grab an archive.
- Included archived version

Putting on hold for 7 days. Pretty minor fixes though; you should be good to go soon! Glimmer721 ^talk 21:57, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Think I've taken care of everything bar the references, will double check and comment against each point after I get round to filling those out. Thank you for a very comprehensive review! Eshlare (talk) 22:49, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Update: Just fleshed out all the references where needed. Think everything else has been tackled. Let me know if there's anything I've missed. Thanks again for your time. Eshlare (talk) 00:37, 10 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like everything has been addressed. Passing! Glimmer721 ^talk 22:00, 10 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]