Talk:Rey Escorpión/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 10:46, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Going to look at this article. Comments will appear soon. MWright96 (talk) 10:46, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

General

When starting sentences such as On June 10, 2006, Three months later & In 2008" a comma should be used as is common in American English.
Also, all mentions of Rey Escorpión should be changed to Escorpión

I disagree that is not his last name, it's a title "King Scorpion", it's not his last name. MPJ-DK 21:53, 11 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"and prior to that worked for Lucha Libre AAA World Wide (AAA) from 2008 to 2008" needs to be written as ,and prior to that, he worked for Lucha Libre AAA World Wide (AAA) in 2008.

Lucha Libre AAA World Wide (2008–2009, 2017-present)

"Escorpión began working on and off for Lucha Libre AAA World Wide (AAA) starting around 2000, working primarily on smaller shows when AAA toured northern Mexico." - change to Escorpión began working intermittently for the Lucha Libre AAA World Wide (AAA) starting around 2000, working primarily on smaller shows when AAA toured northern Mexico.
"Escorpión Negro only worked with Los Guapos sporadically after the event, wrestling mainly on local shows in and around Monterrey, Nuevo León. He would occasionally work as part of the Vipers Revolution group as well but did not achieve any significant success in AAA." Please add a source to these statements.

Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre (2009–2016)

" On April 8, 2011 Escorpión and Guerrero defeated Máscara Dorada and Metal Blanco to win the 2011 Gran Alternativa tournament." - remove the second mention of "2011"
"He then entered the Forjando Un Idolo ("Forging an idol") tournament, a tournament to help identify a young, rising CMLL luchador." - repititon of tournament
"He lost in the first match of the "Playoff" round to Delta on May 13, 2012." - Think this was held in 2011 and not 2012
"with victories over Rey Cometa and Palacio Negro to earn 6 points." - the number 6 should be spelt out per MOS:NUMERAL
"but did not make it past the qualifying Torneo cibernetico match that took place as the CMLL 79th Anniversary Show," - reworded this sentence so it reads but did not make it past the qualifyig Torneo cibernetico match held as part of the CMLL 79th Anniversary Show,
Split the first paragraph into two smaller ones. The first should be about what he did in 2011 and the second is what he did in 2012.
"The storyline with Black warrior" - here, warrior should be captialized
Remove the wikilink to Japanese
Also, New Japan 'Pro Wrestling - the words denoted in bold should be hyphenated
The third paragraph is awfully long. Consider splitting it up to form two smaller paragraphs.
"In March 2013 Rey Escorpión was forced to team up with the tecnico Blue Panther to participate in the 2013 Torneo Nacional de Parejas Increibles tournament." - change to Rey Escorpión was forced to team up with the technico Blue Panther to partake in the Torneo Nacional de Parjeas Increibles tournament in March 2013
"The team defeated Leono and Blue Panther in the first round," - change defeated to "beat" to avoid reptition in the sentence it is part of

Lucha Libre Elite (2016–present)

"As part of the split Rey Escorpión stopped working for CMLL, focusing mainly on LLE where he was one of the top rudo wrestlers." - slight rewording to As part of the split, Rey Escorpión stopped working for CMLL, and mainly focused o LEE where he was one of the top rudo wrestlers

This article is going to be put on hold until all of the points raised above have been resolved. MWright96 (talk) 16:27, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I don't currently have time to follow up on the feedback (thank you by the way, I appreciate the effort) so I am going to ask if anyone at the Pro wrestling project feels like tackling the fixes. MPJ-DK 21:53, 11 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I think I addressed all of the problems per MPJ-DK's request at WT:PW. Let me know if there's anything else needed. JTP ^{(talk • contribs)} 23:15, 11 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@NotTheFakeJTP: @MPJ-DK: Yes that is all the changes done. Can now promote to GA. MWright96 (talk) 09:39, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]