Talk:Rewrite (video game)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 20:52, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Claiming this one now. Not at all the kind of video game I'd play, but I have friends who play this sort of thing, so I'm interested to learn. Review to come soon-ish. J Milburn (talk) 20:52, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This article is not ready for GA. The plot and characters sections still need to be fleshed out first, at least.--十八 21:30, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'm taking a read-through now.

The opening sentence is a little hard to follow. A lot is packed in.
The lead really doesn't say what this is about. Are they old women in medieval England? Young children in a far-future Africa?
Further, for an article of this length, I'd expect to see a couple of paragraphs in the lead- there's more to be said, surely?
"choose different choices" - Clumsy phrase
"the player can meet various friends and have the option to do a quest." What is meant by "friends"? Friends of the protagonist?
There's not a single source in the "gameplay" section
"While set in a modern setting, the city also gives off a strange sense of nostalgia." What does this mean?
"The basis of the story is set in a high school setting. The first half of Rewrite primarily consists of the characters interacting in many everyday, enjoyable scenes. The latter half, however, is more serious, emotional, and carries a sense of mystery to the plot." Unsourced, does not come across as neutral
I was surprised to see that the first listed character is male. Previously, you had said that the plot followed six females
Again, great amounts of the of character lists appear unsourced. Claims like "Despite being the main heroine of the game, Kagari is often mistaken as a sub-character, because she is not introduced in the opening videos." would definitely need to be sourced
"she often gives off plentiful facial expressions" Not sure what this means
"and as such as a strong sense of responsibility and justice" Unclear
"basis of Rewrite' premise"
"Key went back to having Hinoue as the sole art director and character designer,[11] as was with Key's first three games Kanon, Air, and Clannad." Unclear
"Despite the manga being released before the visual novel, the stories are based from the game." Ref?
Clearly, this is a successful game; do we really have no reviews?
I have reached the end of the article, but I have no idea what the plot of the game is about. I know it follows some high-school kids, mostly girls, who live in a city that's also a forest, but other than that...

I am yet to check the sources. I do think the article has potential, but I think a little work is needed yet. J Milburn (talk) 23:32, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well, there has been absolutely no progress since I offered the thoughts above, and so I am going to close this review at this time. I am also concerned about a number of the sources- they are publications I've never heard of without Wikipedia articles; some of them look worryingly like blogs. Please try to ensure that as much information as possible is attributed to reliable sources. I urge you to work on the issues in this article and then renominate when ready. J Milburn (talk) 12:20, 17 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]