Talk:Red Dutton/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Canada Hky (talk) 19:29, 14 January 2011 (UTC)

A quick read through of the article shows nothing that would result in a quick-fail for this article. I will post a more thorough review shortly.

Lead / Infobox

• The lead looks good as far as summarizing the main points in the article.
• The image in the infobox - which one is Dutton? It looks like the guy in the suit is doing the presenting, but that seems at odds with the caption. Possibly (front right) or (front left) could be used to clear up the IDs.

Early life

• The column referencing his brothers, I don't see that info in there anywhere - I see mention of his sons being killed in WW2, but nothing about brothers. My monitor size isn't ideal for scrolling, so I admit I could have missed it.

• Unfortunately, Google didn't put a link point on Coleman's article, but it is to the right of the Blue Jays one that is linked in reference 4. Resolute 03:43, 15 January 2011 (UTC)

• Left school in 1915, "fought in the war for over four years" - with an armistice signed in 1918, this seems off. Also, the previously mentioned column says he was seriously injured in 1917. Possibly "served in the army for over four years" is a better representation?
• "Dutton found himself penniless with only his pride preventing him from asking his father for help when he was met by the owner of a hockey team in Calgary who had sought him out. Dutton was offered $2,500 to play in the Alberta city." Not the most encyclopedic phrasing possible, something like "Dutton was destitute when the owner of a Calgary hockey team offered him $2,500 to play for his club" gets the point across just as well.

• I think the poit about Dutton refusing to go to his family for assistance helps define his character. I've reworded the passage, so hopefully it is better.

Playing career

• "...before the Black Hawks purchased the contract of Taffy Abel, which ended the 'Hawks pursuit of Dutton." Should it be "Hawks" rather than "'Hawks"?

Executive career

• "...Team owner Bill Dwyer, heavily in debt, turned to Dutton who lent $20,000 to allow the team to continue operating." Lent to the team or to Dwyer?
• What do Stanley Cup trustees do?

Business career

• I tracked the previous mention of his contracting business failing in the 20s, but perhaps a brief reminder, "like his attempt shortly after WW1"... might make things more clear.

Personal life

• Is the name of the arena built in Winnipeg available?
• "Always keeping active, Dutton had many pursuits." Kind of awkward, and could probably be left out entirely.
• What kind of success did his ball team have? Did they play in a league or win a championship, or was it a charity team?

Stats

• Every time I write one, someone usually asks for a statistics source, so I'll continue it. Not doubting them, just crossing t's and dotting i's.

References

• All looks good as far as reliability / neutrality goes.
• Ref 31 has no access date.

All should be addressed. Specific comments above as needed. Thanks! Resolute 03:43, 15 January 2011 (UTC)

Checklist

GA review (see here for criteria)

---

Everything above has been addressed, so this is all good.

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Congrats, Red Dutton looks like a good article now.