Talk:Recovery (Eminem album)/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS talk · contribs) 19:37, 3 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments will come within the next week.

Non-reviewer comments

"Background and production" is sourced almost entirely to non-independent sources. Is this a problem? Some similar issues later in the article. --Demiurge1000 (talk) 20:40, 3 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

All references shall be assessed in the review. SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 07:40, 5 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Overview

Prose: See below

Sourcing: See below

Coverage: See below

Neutrality: See below

Stability: No issues

GA Result: Failed. This was a very premature nomination as the prose and referencing need lots of work, and details need assessing- some need to be cut while others need expansion. There is POV that needs cleaning. Spend lots of time going through each section thoroughly. Given how this is the third GAN, do NOT renominate the moment all the points below have been addressed. Here are things brought up by Petergriffin9901 from the first GAN and Calvin999 from the second GAN that I will repeat:

Like Peter said, all major aspects need to be addressed in the lead. I still spot missing pieces. Also, don't include material that isn't explicitly supported by sources or any POV.
If the editors had taken this article to peer review like Calvin suggested before renomination, I'm confident this article would've been in better shape than it was when I reviewed it. The references also need to be consistent with inclusion of accessdates, publishers, and other parameters.

I wish everyone luck next time and am very sorry that it has failed again. In addition to a peer review, the Guild of Copy Editors could help improve this article.

Details

Infobox

"Emile" should link to Emile Haynie
"Havoc" should link to Havoc (musician)
Mr. Porter should not link to "Kon Artis"
For simplicity sake, let's list the duration as just "1:17:40" rather than "77:40"

Lead

"Eminem first planned the release of Relapse 2 as a sequel to Relapse"..... this doesn't really add much, try instead using a picture of someone who worked on the album, give a caption describing their contributions
Mr. Porter (again) should not link to "Kon Artis"
"Recovery featured more introspective and emotional content than its predecessor and the theme of the album revolved around his positive changes, anxiety, and emotional drives"..... "positive changes" is WP:PEACOCK, and I'm skeptical about "emotional content". Maybe we could try something like "Recovery featured more self observation and reflection within its lyrics than its Relapse".
"For the promotion of the album, he featured in TV shows and performed the album's songs live on televised shows, at awards ceremonies, musical events and also headed The Recovery Tour" → "To promote the album, he performed its tracks live on television, awards ceremonies, musical events, and embarked on The Recovery Tour"
"who complimented Eminem's rapping"..... praised his rapping
"Recovery debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200 chart"..... debuted at the top of US Billboard 200
"stayed at number one" → "held the number one position"
"It also peaked inside the top ten of several other countries and was the best-selling album of 2010 worldwide"..... let's provide names of specific countries here
"Recovery has earned Eminem American Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, Detroit Music Awards and Grammy Awards, while it was nominated at Brit Awards, Juno Awards and MTV Video Music Awards Japan"..... Remove "Eminem" from this sentence and just keep the focus on the awards it won. Also be specific on how many of each it won and what years such awards were won.
"The lead single 'Not Afraid', released on April 29, 2010, sold 380,000 digital downloads in its first week debuting at number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 and earned Eminem a Grammy for Best Rap Solo Performance"..... let's split this into two sentences- replace the comma between "Not Afraid" and "released" with the word "was", and replace the comma between "2010" and "sold" with a period after "2010" and "It" before "sold".
"'Love The Way You Lie' featuring Rihanna reached the top spot in over 20 countries and stayed at number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 for seven consecutive weeks"..... features Rihanna and reached..... held number one position also, let's keep the chart focus on Billboard since A) it was the only charting mentioned for "Not Afraid" and B) Eminem is American. Also make note of its release date
Add detail on single release date and Billboard charting for "No Love"
Add Billboard chart details for "Space Bound"
"Four other unreleased songs from the album also charted on the US Billboard Hot 100"..... either list these tracks by name or remove this sentence altogether

Background and production

Specify who the "press release" was that Eminem spoke to in the opening sentence of the first paragraph
"During the interview" isn't really needed in the third sentence of the first paragraph
"When premiering his debut single, 'Not Afraid', Eminem also let listeners know that 'there were not any skits on the album' (so the album would contain more songs than his previous studio albums)"..... scrap this entirely as it simply doesn't read well, and I can't think of a good way to rephrase it
"He described a song titled 'Insult to Injury', in which Eminem performs in his normal voice, as a sequel to "Underground," the final track from the previous album, Relapse"..... Remove the bit on performing in a "normal" voice, and begin the sentence with "Eminem" rather than "He"
"A song on the album "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" featured his rap group D12"..... The song "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"
"As for guests on the album"..... Regarding guests
ref's #8, #9, and #10 (DaShadyspot.com) are dead
"However, none of these artists are actually featured; Recovery only featured guest appearances by rapper Lil Wayne and solo singers Kobe, Pink, and Rihanna" → "While none of these artists were included, Recovery features guest appearances by rapper Lil Wayne and singers Kobe, Pink, and Rihanna"
"On the bonus track 'Session One', Eminem features supergroup Slaughterhouse, signed with Shady Records" → "Slaughterhouse is also featured on the bonus track 'Session One'"
"DJ Whoo Kid heard some songs from the album and stated that 'The Warning' is a diss record to Mariah Carey, and was not as intense as the entire album would be, saying the album is 'maniacal'"..... why is this track being mentioned if not part of the album? Remove that part, and just give DJ Whoo Kid's opinion of the album
"Eminem appeared on Shade 45 with DJ Whoo Kid where he stated that a track with 50 Cent, in which the two rap together on verses, existed"..... trivial, scrap this
Give a name for "he" in "He also confirmed both Just Blaze and Mr. Porter as producers of the album".

Themes and composition

Remove the "sic" bit
Have the sound samples alternate between left-alignment and right-alignment. You can choose which sample should go where
"Eminem, in an interview with Billboard, described that he was" → "Eminem told Billboard that he was"
"Talkin’ 2 Myself" should read "Talkin' 2 Myself" and "Encore’ I was on drugs, ‘Relapse’ I was flushing them out" should read "Encore' I was on drugs, 'Relapse' I was flushing them out" per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
"shows himself being trapped due to fame" → "shows himself trapped within fame"
The "positive" in "focuses on a positive change from Eminem's past experiences" is WP:PEACOCK
ref#23 (Chicago Tribune) is not linking to a review of this album
Link Idolator (website)
"The meaning of 'Space Bound' is not obvious or completely clear and according to Sasha Grey who is featured in its video, the meaning can be interpreted 'in many ways'"..... this lengthy and the beginning is borderline POV. Try something like "'Space Bound' has been deemed ambiguous. Sasha Grey, who starred in its music video, felt its meaning could be interpreted 'in many ways'".
"Jim Jonsin of MTV"..... why does the ref for this read MTV News yet he Jonsin is said to be from MTV?
You don't need to include "video" in the link to the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic". In fact, it's fine to just link to the main page itself and not the "music video" section.
ref#28 (The Source) is dead
"Despite the lyrics being tighter throughout the album, 'So Bad' and 'Almost Famous' views his other side of Slim Shady; his alter ego"..... I don't think everyone reading this article is going to automatically know what "tighter" lyrics are supposed to be, so let's just go with "'So Bad' and 'Almost Famous' feature Eminem's alter ego Slim Shady" and add a brief description of what Slim Shady says/does within the lyrics
Make note that "Love The Way You Lie" features Rihanna in the "The hip-hop ballad 'Love The Way You Lie' describes a couple's refusal to separate despite having an abusive relationship" sentence
Remove "again" from "Rihanna sings the chorus again"
"The singing of Rihanna despite of being without vibrato, her voice 'shows grief and regret'"..... how about "Rihanna expresses grief and regret throughout the song"?
ref#33 (New York Daily News) is dead
"Towards the end he claims his influence, by 'fevered rhymes' on 'You’re Never Over'"..... "You’re" should be "You're" per MOS:QUOTEMARKS, and this would read better as something like "Eminem claims his influence by 'fevered rhymes' on 'You're Never Over'".

Release and promotion

"Recovery was confirmed during a press release by Eminem's label on March 5, 2010" → "Eminem's label first confirmed Recovery on March 5, 2010"
ref#35 (Eminem's website) is giving me an "Access denied" message
Drake should link to Drake (rapper)
"It was followed by him tweeting 'Recovery' with a link to his website"..... He later tweeted 'Recovery'
"as promo for the first single" → "to promote the first single"
Remove "Eventually" from "Eventually, Recovery was released on June 18 in the Europe and on June 21 in the United States and the United Kingdom".
"Eminem has done multiple interviews such as with Red Bull in promotion of the album"..... gave multiple interviews to promote the album
I'm skeptical about ref#41 (Hollywood News)
"Eminem featured on E! during their Daily 10 show in an interview with Clinton Sparks and also appeared in a skit on The Soup" → "Eminem appeared on E!'s Daily 10 show and in a skit on The Soup"
how about getting a better link to replace "Lybio.net" (ref#43)?
ref's #44 (E!) and #45 (BET) are dead
"He performed songs from the album as well as his previous songs at various events"..... you don't need to mention songs here that aren't from the album
"He also headed The Recovery Tour; a series of European, American, and Australian concerts in support of the album and its predecessor Relapse"..... this needs a citation, and would better read as something like "Eminem also promoted Recovery and its predecessor Relapse with The Recovery Tour in Europe, the United States, and Australia". Also unlink "Relapse" per WP:OVERLINK (it has previously been linked within the article) and include when the tour began and concluded

Singles

"The first single, 'Not Afraid' was released on Shade 45 and has received free streaming on Eminem's website since then"..... a comma between "Not Afraid" and "was" is missing..... also, let's keep it simple and say "The first single, 'Not Afraid', was released on April 29, 2010".
ref#53 (Eminem's website) only links to the main page, video is not showing there
Remove "only" from "it is only the second hip hop single to debut at number one"
"It has sold more than 5 million copies and is certified 10× Platinum Diamond by RIAA in the US"..... decuple-platinum diamond
I'm skeptical about ref#57 (Buzz jack)
"The official music video of 'Not Afraid' which was directed by Rich Lee, premiered on June 5, 2010 on Vevo"..... "Not Afraid" was directed by Rich Lee and premiered on June 5, 2010 through Vevo.
"The music video, shot in Newark, New Jersey, won the MTV Video Music Award for Best Male Video at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards"..... music video was shot in Newark, New Jersey and won the MTV Video Music Award
"The song also won the award of the Best Rap Solo Performance at the 53rd Grammy Awards"..... won the Grammy for Best Solo Rap Performance, and link 53rd Annual Grammy Awards
Unlink Rihanna in "The second single was released on August 9, 2010 titled "Love the Way You Lie", which featured Rihanna" per WP:OVERLINK
"The song gave Eminem his fourth US Billboard Hot 100 number one and Rihanna her seventh"..... unlink Eminem, and this would read better as something like "The song is Eminem's 4th number one single and Rihanna's seventh number one on the US Billboard Hot 100".
"It also claimed the top spot on over 20 other charts worldwide"..... reached the top position, and give some names here of other countries
"'Love the Way You Lie' went on to be number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 for seven consecutive weeks"..... it held number one on Billboard.
"The song became Eminem's best-selling single of all time, selling 9.3 million copies worldwide"..... you said in the lead it has sold 10.25 million copies worldwide, so which is it?
"'No Love' featured sample of 'What Is Love' by Haddaway, which was done by producer Just Blaze"..... how about which Just Blaze produced?
"Artist Direct" (ref#74) is not reliable
"'Space Bound' was released as the fourth and final single from the album on March 18, 2011"..... why is it listed as March here and June in infobox? Neither of these dates are even included in ref#76 (HipHopDX), so please provide a ref supporting either a March or a June release, and have it be the same both here and in infobox
Discogs (ref#77) is not a reliable source
"The plot stars" → "The video features"
unlink Sasha Grey as she has previously been linked
"the video caused controversy for a bloody scene"..... was criticized for a bloody scene
Gigwise (ref#81) is not reliable
"The video was slammed"..... panned or criticized would be better
Daily Mirror is not a reliable source, even if it is not being used directly in article
"The music video was then analyzed by Sasha Grey and the song's producer, Jim Jonsin who both agreed that the video had no certain message, but could be interpreted 'in many ways'"..... doesn't really read well, let's try "While Sasha Grey and Jim Jonson analyzed the video, they agreed that it had no particular message and could be viewed in different ways". Also, why is Jim Jonsin linked here and not in his first mention of the article?
The last paragraph doesn't belong in "singles" section. Try moving it to the "promotion" portion before "singles" or to "commercial performance". Its first sentence also is missing "The" at its beginning, and "without release as singles" would read better as "without single releases". Also make some note of its chartings if mentioning that they charted.

Critical reception

"At Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 to reviews from mainstream critics, the album received an average score of 63, based on 28 reviews"..... too lengthy, let's try "According to Metacritic, the album received an average score of 63 out of 100 based on 28 reviews".
The "M" in AllMusic should be capitalized
"commended him for addressing more mature, introspective subject matter and successfully"..... "mature" and "successfully" seem POV, at least without quotation marks
The A.V. Club should not be italicized as it is an online source
"in bursts, Eminem's health is very nearly rude"..... I realize this is what the reviewer said, but it's a confusing quote. Scrap it along with the "that shows" preceding it
see above for ref#23

Commercial performance

"with first-week sales of 741,000 copies"..... how about "selling 741,000 copies in its first week"?
I'm not too sure about "AOL Radio Blog" (ref#101)
Eminem's website (ref#103) only links to the main page of his website, doesn't give info on sales
Is ref#104 (BallerStatus) reliable?
"was later outsold by Adele's 21 album"..... include here how many copies Adele's album sold
Try to find a better source than "Toronto Sun" (i.e. Toronto Star) for ref's #113, #114, and #115
Forums (ref#116) are not reliable
ref#119 (ARIA) is dead
"By the end of its release year" → "By the end of 2010"
"The Richest" (ref#120) is not reliable
Is "The New Times Rwanda" (ref#121) reliable?

Accolades

Why is there an unaddressed tag here from December 2013? Convert it to prose please as the tag suggests.
ref#132 (Detroit Music Awards) displays the 2014 results now, where are the 2011 results?
I'm skeptical about ref#134 (PopStarOnline) and ref#135 (jpopasia)

Tracklisting

"Dee Dee Halligan" should link to Tony Hendrik

Personnel

Again, the "M" in "AllMusic" needs to be capitalized

Charts

"That Grape Juice" (ref#177) is not reliable
I'm not too sure about "αCharts.us" (ref's #180, #181, and #183)
Something about "Zobbel.de" (ref#184) has me skeptical

Release history

ref#203 (Aftermath) is dead

References

MTV News should be linked and not italicized in ref#1, and publisher is Viacom
"RapRadar.com" should read "Rap Radar" and not be italicized in ref#2
Unlink MTV News and Viacom in ref#3, and again MTV News should not be italicized
Credits (ref#5) are malformatted. Use this code:

<ref name="liner">{{cite AV media notes |title=Recovery|others=Eminem|year=2010 |publisher=[[Interscope Records]]}}</ref>

"AllHipHop.com" should not be italicized in ref#7
Link Rap-Up in ref#11, and publisher is Devin Lazerine
"MTV" should read "MTV News" in ref#13, and is missing Viacom publisher
"Rapradar.com" should read "Rap Radar" in ref#14
Link HipHopDX in ref#17, and publisher is Cheri Media Group
Credits (ref#18) look better than ref#5 does, but I'd still use the code given above
Viacom publisher is missing for ref#19 (MTV News)
Jody Rosen should be linked in ref#20 (Rolling Stone), use the "authorlink" field to do this. Publisher is Jann Wenner
Publisher for The New York Times (ref#21) is Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr.
AllMusic is missing in ref#22, and publisher is All Media Network
See point on ref#1, but don't link MTV News or Viacom in ref#24
Link Idolator (website) in ref#25, and publisher is Spin Media
Link MuchMusic and Bell Media in ref#26
Link IPC Media in ref#27
Unlink MTV News in ref#29, and include Viacom as publisher
"The A.V. Club" should not be italicized in ref#30, and publisher is The Onion
Link Sound on Sound in ref#31
Publisher for Digital Spy (ref#32) is Hearst Corporation
See point on ref#21, and publication was released December 24, 2010, not 2011 for ref#34
"RapRadar" should read "Rap Radar" in ref#36
Unlink MuchMusic and Bell Media in ref#38
HipHopDX should be italicized in ref#39
"E! online" should read E! and not be italicized in ref#42
Publisher for ref's #46, #47, and #48 is Viacom
link Billboard (magazine) and Prometheus Global Media in ref#49
unlink NME and IPC Media in ref#50
ref#51 should read "MTV News" and "Viacom"
Billboard should be italicized and unlinked in ref#54, publisher is Prometheus Global Media
"Billboard.com" should read "Billboard" and Prometheus Global Media publisher is missing in ref#55
RIAA should not be italicized in ref#56
"Rap-Up.com" should read "Rap-Up" and be italicized in ref#58, publisher is Devin Lazerine, and "Eminem’s ‘Not Afraid’ Video Gets Premiere Date" should read "Eminem's 'Not Afraid' Video Gets Premiere Date" per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
Unlink MTV News in ref#60, and Viacom publisher is missing in ref#60
For consistency sake, use "Jann Wenner" instead of "Wenner Media" for publisher in ref#62 (Rolling Stone)
ref#64 (Yahoo) should read Yahoo! Music
ref#66 should just read "Yahoo! Music", and unlink Yahoo! Music in this ref
see point on ref#60 for ref#68
see point on ref#55 for ref#69
see point on ref#51 for ref#70
Credits (ref#72) look even better than ref#18, but it's still best to go with what I gave for ref#5
see point on ref#55 for ref#73
see point on ref#60 for ref#75
"HipHop DX" should read "HipHopDX" in ref#76, and Cheri Media Group publisher is missing
"MTV" should read "MTV News" and not be linked in ref#79, Viacom publisher is missing
NME should be italicized in ref#82, and IPC Media publisher is missing
link InMusic in ref#83, and publisher is Microsoft
Capitalize the "M" in AllMusic for ref#87, and publisher is All Media Network
MSN Music should not be italicized in ref#88, and unlink Microsoft
Remove "London" from ref#89 (The Daily Telegraph), and publisher is Telegraph Media Group
Publisher for The Guardian is Guardian Media Group (ref#90)
unlink NME in ref#91, and IPC Media publisher is missing
Publisher for Spin (magazine) is Spin Media (ref#94)
Publisher for Metacritic is CBS Interactive (ref#95)
Use "authorlink" field to link Kitty Empire in ref#96 (The Observer), and publisher is Guardian Media Group
Publisher for The Independent (ref#97) is Independent Print Limited
Publisher for Los Angeles Times (ref#98) is Eddy Hartenstein
unlink Billboard in ref#99, and Prometheus Global Media publisher is missing
Prometheus Global Media publisher is missing for ref#100
See point on ref#100 for ref#102
ref#105 should read "Yahoo! Music" rather than "New.music.yahoo.com"
See point on ref#99 for ref#107
ref#108 only contains a title and link, it needs work, publisher, accessdate, and (if available) author
See point on ref#76 for ref#109
See point on ref#105 for ref's #110 and #111
See point on ref#99 for ref#112
ref#118 (australian-charts.com) should read "Australian Charts" without italics
See point on ref#91 for ref#122
ref#123 has a publication date of "September 14, 2009" when its actual date was January 5, 2011
See point on ref#99 for ref#124, and it should not have "Billboard.biz" in its title
ref#125 is linking to a YouTube userpage, why is that?
Publisher for ref#127 (Detroit Free Press) is Gannett Company
"The Guardian" should be italicized in ref#128, and publisher Guardian Media Group is missing
unlink Billboard and Prometheus Global media in ref#130, and remove the "p.1" bit
BBC News should not be italicized in ref#131, and the "N" should be capitalized
Rolling Stone should be italicized in ref#136, and Jann Wenner is publisher
unlink Spin in ref#137, and Spin Media is publisher
Publisher for ref's #138, #139, and #140 is Rich Antoniello, and link Complex (magazine) in ref#138.
Publisher for iTunes (ref#141) is Apple Inc.
See point on ref#5 for ref#142
Capitalize the "M" in AllMusic for ref#143, and publisher is All Media Network
ref#144 should read "Australian Charts"
ref#145 should read "Austrian Charts"
for ref's #146 and #147, "Ultratop.be" should just read "Ultratop"
unlink Billboard and Prometheus Global media in ref#148
ref#150 should read "Danish Charts"
ref#151 should read "Dutch Charts"
See point on ref#100 for ref#152
ref#158 should read "Italian Charts"
why is ref#159 a bare URL?
ref#160 should read "Mexican Charts"
"Charts.org.nz" should read "New Zealand Charts" in ref#161
ref#162 should read "Norwegian Charts"
ref#164 should read "Spanish Charts"
ref#165 should read "Swedish Charts"
ref#166 should read "Swiss Charts"
See point on ref#148 for ref's #168, #169, and #170
See point on ref#55 for ref's #171 and #173
link BBC in ref#174
See point on ref#55 for ref#175
remove the italics for MTV News in ref#176 and replace "MTV Networks" with an unlinked Viacom
Italicize and unlink "Billboard" in ref#182, and add Prometheus Global Media as publisher
ref#204 should read Amazon.com rather than "Amazon.co.uk"
See point on ref#143 for ref#205
ref#206 should read "HMV ONLINE"
ref#207 should read "Livraria Cultura"