Talk:Rather Ripped/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 21:09, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

The album image cover requires an alt description; please add one

Done

Please use a "Flatlist" for the "Producer" parameter since there are multiple producers listed

According to Template:Infobox album, commas can also be used. I prefer to use commas so that the infobox is consistent with other Sonic youth albums.

Rest is great

Lead

Paragraph 1

"14th studio album..." --> "fourteenth studio album..."

Done

Paragraph 2

"No. 71" --> "number 71"

Done

"No. 64" --> "number 64"

Done

"The song "Incinerate" was released as a single and features a music video by French director and writer Claire Denis." --> "The album's only single "Incinerate" was released in 2006, alongside an accompanying music video by French director and writer Claire Denis."

Done

Background and recording

Paragraph 1

The link to "Berkeley, California" should be changed just to Berkeley, and then you can link California separately

Done

Now please link "Pennsylvania" separately as well

Done

Paragraph 2

"During the recording sessions, Moore's gear included two Fender Jazzmasters and a Fender Princeton, while Ranaldo played a Gibson Les Paul guitar for half of the album and his Fender Telecaster Deluxe, "Jazzmaster copy-made" by Saul Koll, and modified Fender Jazzmaster with humbuckers for the remaining tracks.[8]" --> This sentence is a bit too long and includes too many "and"s; you can reword it please?

Fixed

Rest is good

Music and lyrics

Paragraph 1

"a feature that is uncommon in Sonic Youth releases.[12]" --> "a feature that is uncommon in previous Sonic Youth releases.[12]"

Done

""something that's not intense and fiery, but mysterious and vibrant. The guitars float, they soothe, they soar. They do unexpected things; it often feels like Sonic Youth are taking all the instrumental tricks they've learned over the years and putting them in the service of building a lasting landscape of guitar sounds, one that reverberates with the sounds of the past but also feels eternally youthful".[13]" --> Way, way too long; you can remove roughly half of this quote for the same effect

Simplified and paraphrased

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"The song "Incinerate" is..." --> "Lead single "Incinerate" is..."

Done

Release

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References [24]-[28] look a bit awkward where they are currently placed; would you mind doing something like this: "including Australia,[24] Belgium,[25] Finland,[26] France[27] and Norway.[28]"?

Done

Rest is great! :)

Critical reception

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Please add Metacritic's consensus of the album right away, following the "Rather Ripped received generally very positive reviews from critics.[31]" statement

Is there truly any reason why we should add Metacritic's concensus? I don't think it adds anything useful to the prose when there's already the sentence "received generally very positive reviews from critics". It bloats the article with unnecessay info. --Niwi3 (talk) 21:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Paragraph 2

I feel like this statement could be worded in a better way: "Sheffield went so far as to say that the album features her first worthwhile songs in a decade.[11]" What do you think?

Replaced with "Sheffield concluded that the album features her first worthwhile songs in a decade." --Niwi3 (talk) 21:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

Need a source at the end of the statement "All songs written and composed by Sonic Youth." (The album's liner notes will do just fine)

Done

Charts

You need to use the formatting found at Template:Album chart; the current form is incorrect (If you need help with this, let me know ASAP and I'll try to help you out with it.)

I decided not to use it because, as far as I know, you cannot archive URLs with this template. That's why some featured articles like OK Computer or Achtung Baby prefer to avoid it. --Niwi3 (talk) 21:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Other notes

You need to add a "Release history" section at the very end stating when it was released, what formats were released, the label that released it, the specific dates, and any references used to back up the information given

Honestly, I don't think this is actually necessary as Wikipedia is not an indiscriminate collection of information. A release history can be useful if the different releases are notable and supported by third-party, published sources, but this is definitely not the case. If readers want more details about the release history, they can use the corresponding Discogs link in the External links section. Also, the release section already says when the album was released and the label that released it, so it would be a bit redundant. --Niwi3 (talk) 21:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

End of GA Review:

A very good article with only some minor problems! Great work! Contact me here by @PINGing me with any questions, comments, or concerns! Thank you very much and good luck! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 21:52, 19 June 2016 (UTC).[reply]

Thank you for your time and review, really appreciated. I fixed some points you brought up and will continue tomorrow as I'm a bit busy at the moment. Cheers. --Niwi3 (talk) 22:42, 19 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I think I addressed most of the issues you raised. I also added comments to those that I think are unnecessary. Please let me know what you think. Cheers. --Niwi3 (talk) 21:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for leaving an explanation after each of my comments, it makes it a a lot easier for me as a reviewer. I appreciate Greg's input, but like you said, they are not "make or break" suggestions and were ONLY suggestions. I wasn't aware of the policy's rules and was only trying to make the article better. I will be passing the article now. Thanks again. Carbrera (talk) 21:26, 20 June 2016 (UTC).[reply]

No problem, I wasn't trying to shoot down your ideas randomly. Coming to this as a professional copy-editor and proofreader, I focus a lot on making sure articles stay within the correct Wiki style parameters. It's definitely, though, a good idea for you to get a decent acquaintance with the Wiki MOS before making stylistic changes or suggestions that aren't actually in keeping with Wiki rules or best practices. You're a very dedicated and detailed Wiki editor and have worked very hard to make articles more thorough, so it can only help you to have some awareness of the MOS.Greg Fasolino (talk) 17:39, 21 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Edits

Carbrera, I am not sure why you made some of these changes. "14th" is at the very least, just as good as "fourteenth", and arguably better, as it is standard format in American news media and publications to use numerals for numbers 10 and above. All other Sonic Youth album articles are numbered in numerals, as they should be. Also, "No." is equally acceptable under Wikipedia MOS as "number"; editor preference on that one is not a valid reason to change. With "No."/"number", we generally go by what the article started with as both are equal under MOS. Here's the link you can refer to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Numbers Greg Fasolino (talk) 16:50, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

While I agree with @Greg Fasolino:, I think these minor issues are the kind of thing that don't make the article any better or worse, so I'm fine with either approach and don't plan to start an edit war. --Niwi3 (talk) 21:16, 20 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]