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Talk:Rancho Tehama shootings/Archive 1

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Archive 1

Please add encyclopedic content

Hi, WWGB. Many other Wikipedia pages have links such as 'Kevin Janson Neal' that parachute into the 'perpetrator' section of this article. The very first words are 'Kevin Janson Neal', so there is no astonishment - and no cogent reason to bold his name. Generally, per MOS:BOLD and WP:R#PLA such bolding is reserved for the lead section, unless there is an astonishment issue - which there is not. Read 'WP:R#PLA' carefully. The operative word is 'astonishment'.

Additionally, you seem to delete content without making an effort to improve it, or improve the citations. If you dig around, and do some research, you can build out the article, instead of nibbling away at it. Nibbling is good, if you make three steps ahead and one step back, but it is not good to continually make one step back.

Let's work together on this. We all bring something to the table.Thank you for your participation and collaboration. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 13:42, 17 November 2017 (UTC)

Disagreement over legality of gun possession

Interesting that these two sources seem to disagree on question of gun ownership.

"The court records show a judge ordering Neal to stay away from the woman who was stabbed and her mother-in-law on Feb. 28. As part of that protective order, Neal was barred from having guns." http://www.chron.com/news/crime/article/The-Latest-Northern-California-gunman-s-wife-12359798.php

"Assistant Sheriff Phil Johnston said... Neal was not prohibited from buying guns" http://www.kcra.com/article/6-dead-incl-gunman-9-injured-in-tehama-county-shooting-rampage/13600667 130.36.63.145 (talk) 22:14, 15 November 2017 (UTC)

Injuries

There needs to be some consistency in counting the injured. The attack infobox gives 18 injuries, the casualties list gives 13 and the criminal infobox gives 12. WWGB (talk) 12:49, 18 November 2017 (UTC)

Hi, WWGB. I totally agree about continuity. To that end, I aligned the main infobox and the criminal infobox to be 18. I do not know what to do about the casualties list. Before there was a separation of direct injured (12 by bullets) and indirect injured (6 by flying glass). I really do not see the need for a distinction, except in a narrative. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 04:52, 22 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi, WWGB. I tweaked the casualties list. Please re-tweak if needed. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 05:56, 22 November 2017 (UTC)

Adding "County" to infobox title. Suggestion

Hello Checkingfax, Rancho Tehama County Reserve shootings seems very awkward. Is there another way to introduce Tehama County to the infobox? Otherwise, great work. Fettlemap (talk) 00:19, 23 November 2017 (UTC)

Rancho Tehama Reserve is a community within Tehama County. It is not appropriate to blur the distinction. WWGB (talk) 00:27, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi, Fettlemap. It was a typo. Good catch. Having fun! Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 02:47, 23 November 2017 (UTC)

GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Rancho Tehama Reserve shootings/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 19:45, 12 September 2019 (UTC)

Review

Will review. Stay tuned! MX (✉ • ✎) 19:45, 12 September 2019 (UTC)

Criteria

  • Style – Exceptional.
  • Verifiability – No issues here. Sources are reliable and everything is cited inline.
  • Neutrality – Very neutral in tone.
  • Stability – No large updates in recent months.
  • Illustration – Images found and licensed correctly.
  • Copyright – All good here, too.

Lead

  • The shootings led to domestic and international debate over the control of ghost guns and gun-licensing law in the United States. – Where does it mention international debates in the body paragraphs?

Infobox

  • Coroner: Tehama County Coroner's Office – I know it's "obvious", but this isn't cited anywhere in the body paragraphs. To be included here, it needs a ref elsewhere per WP:INFOBOXCITE.

Shootings

  • Barbara Glisan (aka Gilsan) – I made a change here. Please check it.
  • His motive is unclear.[22][23][24][25][26] – No need to cluster so many sources here. One or two is fine. Consider removing the citekill.
  • The first shooting report to 9-1-1 was placed at 7:54 a.m., and Neal died at 8:19 a.m.—a duration of 25 minutes.[28] – I like this here. I would say you should remove "The 25-minute" mention before so it doesn't seem redundant.

Victims

  • Mercy Medical Center in Redding, or UC Davis Medical Center in Davis for treatment.[2][15][23][24][25][26] – Same here with the citekill. Consider merging or trimming.
  • Victims' families were left struggling to pay for medical expenses and some turned to online fundraisers. – Is there mention in the source or in others about how much money they were able to gather?

Perpetrator

  • Born: Cary, North Carolina – The body paragraphs say he was raised in Cary, not born there. Please make sure it's one or the other.

Location

  • A bit too detailed and may not require a section in itself. I think the distances to other cities/towns may not be too relevant for this article. You already mentioned it is a rural and isolated community. Perhaps you can add the The community is located 120 miles (190 kilometers) northwest of Sacramento, 25 miles (40 km) southwest of Red Bluff, and 25 miles (40 km) northwest of Corning. as a footnote. What are your thoughts on that?

Aftermath

  • Despite widespread criticism of the Sheriff's Department's handling of the case – Why was there widespread criticism? Can you expand on this?


Decision: fail

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