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1 November 2023 Edit Request

[edit]

Hi, I have a conflict of interest and on behalf of SoftBank Vision Fund would like to request the following changes to this article:

1. Can Occupation in the Infobox and throughout the article be changed from Banker to Investor for accuracy.

2. In Early life and education can the final sentence be changed to: 

Misra is a board member of both the University of Pennsylvania and MIT Sloan and is on the Board of Trustees of Kaust[1].

3. In the second paragraph of the Career section, can the following be removed as this is a 15 year old estimate which was not confirmed by the Der Spiegel source[2] quoted in the Reuters source[3]: 

and was reportedly earning between 10 and 15 million euros a year.

4. Can the following update be added to the second paragraph of the Career section: 

Misra held numerous senior leadership roles at SoftBank Group Corp. and its affiliates, including serving as executive vice president of SoftBank Group Corp. In 2017, Misra supported Masayoshi Son in launching the SoftBank Vision Fund, which at $98 Billion was the largest technology investment fund ever raised[4]. SoftBank Investment Advisers was established as the investment manager for the Vision Fund, with Misra as CEO. In 2019, SoftBank launched a successor fund, Vision Fund 2[5][6].

5. Can the third paragraph of the Career section be removed? The allegations were attributed to unnamed sources speaking on condition of anonymity which does not seem right in an article where the BLP policy applies.

6. Can the final paragraph be amended as per the below: 

In July 2022, he stepped back from his executive roles at SoftBank Group to start his own venture fund,  Misra set up a new investment platform, One Investment Management, in parallel to his continued commitments for SoftBank Investment Advisers, as reported by various news agencies. He OneIM has secured over $6 billion, including from Middle East investors.[7][8]

Thank you in advance for your help! Manelila (talk) 17:02, 1 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

References

  1. ^ Kane, Frank (6 June 2021). "Frankly Speaking: SoftBank Vision Fund accelerating hi-tech investment, globally and in Saudi Arabia, says CEO". Arab News PK. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  2. ^ "Deutsche Bank verliert Top-Mann". Der Spiegel (in German). 8 June 2008. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  3. ^ "UPDATE 1-Rajeev Misra to leave Deutsche Bank". Reuters. 7 June 2008. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  4. ^ Inagaki, Kana; Kerr, Simeon; Massoudi, Arash (19 October 2016). "The $100bn marriage: How SoftBank's Son courted a Saudi prince". Financial Times. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  5. ^ Shead, Sam. "SoftBank Launches New $108 Billion Vision Fund To Invest in AI". Forbes. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  6. ^ McBride, Sarah; Wang, Selina; Elstrom, Peter (27 September 2018). "The 10 Men Behind Softbank's $100 Billion Vision Fund". Bloomberg.com. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  7. ^ "SoftBank's Rajeev Misra to step aside from main roles to build and run a new fund". Moneycontrol. 7 July 2022.
  8. ^ Brown, Eliot (7 July 2022). "Rajeev Misra to Step Back From Top Executive Role at SoftBank". Wall Street Journal.

Reply 1-NOV-2023

[edit]

✅  Edit request partially implemented  

  1. Green tickY The |occupation=Investor parameter was activated in the infobox.
  2. Red XN The Early life and education sentence could not be added because the University of Pennsylvania, MIT Sloan, and Kaust do not contain their requisite Wikilinks.
  3. Red XN The claim statement and was reportedly earning between 10 and 15 million euros a year was not removed because it wasnt clear which reference in the proposal is the one accompanying the text-to-be-deleted. Firstly, that reference was not placed next to the text which it references; rather, two sources were placed along with the COI editor's own confusing text issuing the request can the following be removed as this is a 15 year old estimate which was not confirmed by the Der Spiegel source[2] quoted in the Reuters source[3]. Specifically, the phrase "which was not confirmed by the Der Spiegel source quoted in the Reuters source," as this phrase implies that there may be as many as 2 references (or more) not sources provided.
  4. Red XN The addition to the Career section could not be reviewed, because none of the listed companies within the text are Wikilinked.
  5. Red XN The third paragraph of the career section could not be removed because it no longer exists within the article.

Regards,  Spintendo  01:01, 2 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello,
Thank you for your quick response. In response to your points:
1. Thank you for making this change.
2. University of Pennsylvania and MIT Sloan are already featured in the article, so I am not requesting for their addition. I am only requesting for the addition of KAUST, which I have referenced.
3. The wording accompanying the request for removal of the salary figure is based on the fact that the reference currently being used is a Reuters article, which in turn states that it is referencing Der Spiegel. In that original source, which is 15 years old, an estimate salary is used. The source of this remains unconfirmed, meaning that it is unknown where they got the figures from.
4. Wikilinks have been added.
5. The third paragraph of the career section does exist, but more specifically is the following: "The Wall Street Journal detailed Misra's alleged attempts to undermine his internal rivals at Softbank, including planting stories, filing shareholder complaints, and using a "honey trap"." As stated, I have requested this for removal because the allegations were attributed to unnamed sources speaking on condition of anonymity which does not seem right in an article where the BLP policy applies.
I hope these responses further clarify the issues raised. Thank you again. Manelila (talk) 16:31, 3 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I apologize. My confusion comes from your unusual use of underlined and strikeout fonts. Those fonts are generally not used in edit requests. They are most often used according to the guidelines at WP:REDACT for editors to indicate when text from prior posts that they have placed onto the talk page space have either been added or deleted after it was originally placed. As such, the uses of those fonts are unnecessary in edit requests. Regards,  Spintendo  23:33, 3 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for any confusion, never seen WP:REDACT before but using the underline and strikethrough formatting just seemed like an easy way to identify where material would fit into the existing article. I was going from the directions "Any edit request must be accompanied by a detailed and specific description of what changes need to be made. Clearly indicate which sections or phrases should be replaced or added to, and what they should be replaced with or have added." I found the examples were not very applicable when suggesting changes within sections and sentences without getting really wordy. Wikilinks weren't mentioned at all so again sorry that these were missing the first time. As my other request is very long and would require you to judge what I had changed for yourself it seemed fairer to you to outline it clearly rather than have you cross-reference the changes each time. Hopefully it all makes sense now. Manelila (talk) 19:45, 6 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 6-NOV-2023

[edit]

✅  Edit request partially implemented  

  1. Green tickY The claim regarding Kaust was added.
  2. Red XN The disputed Der Spiegel sourced-claim was not removed, because the COI editor did not provide a URL of the article so that the reviewer could identify for themselves that the information was incorrect.
  3. Red XN The Career section paragraph was not added because 2 out of the 3 references used in that section are paywalled.
  4. Red XN The third paragraph of the Career section was not removed, because the COI editor did not include a verbatim description of the text or references to be removed.[1]
  5. Red XN The information concerning One Investment Management was not added because the company is not notable in Wikipedia.

References

  1. ^ "Template:Edit COI". Wikipedia. 30 August 2023. Instructions for Submitters: Describe the requested changes in detail. This includes the exact proposed wording of the new material, the exact proposed location for it, and an explicit description of any wording to be removed, including removal for any substitution.

Regards,  Spintendo  21:38, 6 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Spintendo, thank you for looking at this request but I think there is a lot that has been missed.
In response to your points:
2. There are indeed URLS in the request – please see the following, which you can also find above as 2 and 3 in the former reference list from the past request.Der Spiegel[1], which is not used in the article and Reuters, which is.[2]
To clarify, this is the text that as it appears in the Wikipedia article:
He left Deutsche Bank in June 2008, when he was the global head for credit and commodities and was reportedly earning between 10 and 15 million euros a year. He then worked at the London-based TCI Fund for several months.”[3]
(You'll note the citation is invoked a sentence later in the article itself).
I propose removing the clause "and was reportedly earning between 10 and 15 million euros a year".
This is because the Reuters source invoked makes the claim "German weekly magazine Der Spiegel had reported ahead of publication on Monday it would be be [sic] disadvantageous for Deutsche to lose Misra, whose strengths are innovative financial products and opening up new business areas. The report said he earned between 10 and 15 million euros per annum". However, the Der Spiegel itself[4] notes that this is only an estimate: "geschätzten Jahresgehalt" from “schätzen” meaning estimate, guess.
3. I have used the quote feature on the citation generator to indicate where the FT text confirms the claims made. Please see below, and reconsider adding this to the second paragraph of the Career section:
Misra held numerous senior leadership roles at SoftBank Group Corp. and its affiliates, including serving as executive vice president of SoftBank Group Corp[5] In 2017, Misra supported Masayoshi Son in launching the SoftBank Vision Fund, which at $98 Billion was the largest technology investment fund ever raised.[6] SoftBank Investment Advisers was established as the investment manager for the Vision Fund, with Misra as CEO. In 2019, SoftBank launched a successor fund, Vision Fund 2.[7]
4. The text and the references to be removed are as follows:
The Wall Street Journal detailed Misra's alleged attempts to undermine his internal rivals at Softbank, including planting stories, filing shareholder complaints, and using a "honey trap".[8][9]
Again, I have requested this for removal because the allegations were attributed to unnamed sources speaking on condition of anonymity which does not seem right in an article where the BLP policy applies. If the statement must stay, can the following be added at the end of the paragraph? "The allegations were strongly denied by Misra and SoftBank itself following an extensive internal investigation". The Wall Street Journal[10] and American Genius[11] both confirm this.
5. I take your point regarding notability, but the current article text does not indicate that Misra still has a role at SoftBank Investment Advisers, and also does not indicate that it is this new fund which has secured $6 billion in funding. I am trying to clarify, not add.
I suggest replacing:
In July 2022, he stepped back from his executive roles at SoftBank Group to start his own venture fund, as reported by various news agencies. He has secured over $6 billion, including from Middle East investors.[12][13]
With
In July 2022, he stepped back from his executive roles at SoftBank Group to start his own venture fund, continuing in a reduced capacity to oversee Vision Fund 1 at SoftBank Investment Advisers.[14] Misra has secured over $6 billion for the new venture, including from Middle East investors.[15]
I hope these clarifications make sense! Manelila (talk) 18:06, 23 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your reply. If I understand you correctly, your concern is that the sources are making claims that are estimates However, the Der Spiegel itself[4] notes that this is only an estimate: But this is fine to state in the article as long as it makes it clear that the voice is not Wikipedia's. The article section on this information states and was reportedly earning between 10 and 15 million euros a year. the key word here being reportedly. The same goes for the information The Wall Street Journal detailed Misra's alleged attempts to undermine his internal rivals at Softbank, this is also not placed in Wikipedia's voice. The information on One Investment Management is not something I feel should be mentioned in the article unless it has its own article, to act as a guard against it being something that only the subject feels is important enough to mention in the article, rather than organically being mentioned because of the weight of its own importance. Regards,  Spintendo  23:29, 25 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Hi @Spintendo thank you for explaining that, I take your logic on my first two points. Could I still please ask that the following statement is added in the interest of balance?
"The allegations were strongly denied by Misra and SoftBank itself following an extensive internal investigation"[8][9]
On the final point, you haven't quite understood my request. I already removed the mention of One Investment fund from my request following your original comment. I am trying to make the text already in the article clearer. The current text (see my before and after guide in point 5) can be clarified by adding at the very least the text in bold here: "In July 2022, he stepped back from his executive roles at SoftBank Group to start his own venture fund, continuing in a reduced capacity to oversee Vision Fund 1 at SoftBank Investment Advisers."[14]
Thanks Manelila (talk) 17:11, 29 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  1. ^ "Deutsche Bank verliert Top-Mann". Der Spiegel (in German). 8 June 2008. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  2. ^ "UPDATE 1-Rajeev Misra to leave Deutsche Bank". Reuters. 7 June 2008. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  3. ^ "UPDATE 1-Rajeev Misra to leave Deutsche Bank". Reuters. 7 June 2008. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  4. ^ "Deutsche Bank verliert Top-Mann". Der Spiegel (in German). 8 June 2008. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  5. ^ Inagaki, Kana; Kerr, Simeon; Massoudi, Arash (19 October 2016). "The $100bn marriage: How SoftBank's Son courted a Saudi prince". Financial Times. Retrieved 1 November 2023. To solve the problem, Mr Son enlisted SoftBank executive Rajeev Misra, an ex-debt trader who in 2006 helped SoftBank structure a complicated takeover of Vodafone Japan, to explore alternative pools of capital.
  6. ^ Inagaki, Kana; Kerr, Simeon; Massoudi, Arash (19 October 2016). "The $100bn marriage: How SoftBank's Son courted a Saudi prince". Financial Times. Retrieved 1 November 2023. Some six weeks later, the two men would meet in Riyadh to launch plans for the largest private fund of its sort ever created — a $100bn partnership that will allow Mr Son to invest in the future of technology and for Saudi Arabia potentially to reap the benefits. (As a note, the 98 figure I have suggested is correct, the FT rounds up, but it was still the largest)
  7. ^ Shead, Sam. "SoftBank Launches New $108 Billion Vision Fund To Invest in AI". Forbes. Retrieved 1 November 2023.
  8. ^ a b "SoftBank's Rajeev Misra Used Campaign of Sabotage to Hobble Internal Rivals". Wall Street Journal. 26 February 2020.
  9. ^ a b Clarkson, Colin (2020-03-02). "CEO at Softbank lands in hot water with multiple serious accusations". The American Genius. Retrieved 2020-03-03.
  10. ^ "SoftBank's Rajeev Misra Used Campaign of Sabotage to Hobble Internal Rivals". Wall Street Journal. 26 February 2020. These are old allegations which contain a series of falsehoods that have been consistently denied," a spokesman for Mr. Misra said. […] A SoftBank spokeswoman said, "For several years, we have investigated a campaign of falsehoods against SoftBank Group and certain former employees in an attempt to identify those behind it. SoftBank will be reviewing the inferences made by The Wall Street Journal.
  11. ^ Clarkson, Colin (2020-03-02). "CEO at Softbank lands in hot water with multiple serious accusations". The American Genius. Retrieved 2020-03-03. SoftBank denies the allegations, calling them "a campaign of falsehoods" that has apparently been on their radar for a number of years.
  12. ^ Patwardhan, Nikhil; Shrikanth, Chandra R. (7 July 2022). "SoftBank's Rajeev Misra to step aside from main roles to build and run a new fund". Money Control.
  13. ^ Brown, Eliot (7 July 2022). "Rajeev Misra to Step Back From Top Executive Role at SoftBank". The Wall Street Journal.
  14. ^ a b Brown, Eliot (7 July 2022). "Rajeev Misra to Step Back From Top Executive Role at SoftBank". Wall Street Journal. Mr. Misra will stay on in a reduced capacity at SoftBank, overseeing the original Vision Fund investments, while stepping back from oversight of its successor, Vision Fund 2, according to a Thursday memo to staff signed by SoftBank's founder, Masayoshi Son.
  15. ^ Turner, Giles; Bergen, Mark; Nair, Dinesh (9 August 2023). "Rajeev Misra's OneIM Fund Is Hiring After Raising $6.8 Billion". Bloomberg.com. One Investment Management, a vehicle set up by SoftBank Vision Fund's key architect Rajeev Misra, plans to hire in New York, London and Abu Dhabi after securing an initial $6.8 billion from backers.
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