Talk:Rahmah el Yunusiyah/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:10, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 14:52, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

There's four refs in lede - are they necessary? Can we encorporate to the body instead? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Removed all refs from the lead, per WP:LEADCITE - they were not really necessary there as pointed out.

Might be worth a heading note that the last name is "el Yunusiyah". {{family name hatnote}} is the template. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Added.

She died in 1969 - could we expand slightly? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Added details of her age and place of death.

General

You link to the Dutch West Indies in the lede, you should also in the body. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Added.

(most likely Arabic language as well as the Jawi alphabet and Van Ophuijsen Spelling System for local languages) - this would be better served as a note. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Added as a note, along with a new Notes section.

(Dutch: Vrouwenbond dan Meisyeskring, Indonesian: Perkumpulan Wanita dan Kelompok Gadis) - same for this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done

brother Zainuddin - comma before and after Zainuddin. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done

girls.[1][2][13][14] - this might be a case of WP:CITEKILL. Either remove one of WP:BUNDLING. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Fixed.

mosque; el Yunusiyah herself was the main teacher. - where she was the main teacher. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Adjusted.

In 1924 - these should have a comma after. check throughout. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Think I got them all.

The nationalist figure Rasuna Said had been a student in the mixed gender Dinayah school and assistant teacher in the girls' school since 1923; Said incorporated politics into her courses, until she eventually came into a disagreement with el Yunusiyah and left the school for Padang in 1930.[ - this is a hell of a sentence. Suggest reword for readability. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Yes, that one did get away from us a little bit, didn't it!

students.[11][18][19][20] - CITEKILL again. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Fixed.

1930s: continued advocacy - considering the other headers don't have the dates, probably not necessary. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Done Adjusted.

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:52, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Great work - there wasn't really much here to critique. I'm going to pass this article now. If you get bored, feel free to take a look at any of my nominations. Great work. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:09, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! I may well take a look at one of your nominations when I get done with the review I'm currently working on. —Ganesha811 (talk) 21:18, 15 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.