Jump to content

Talk:Radstock/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 17:10, 20 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • The image caption describes a "coal mining wheel", but I'm not sure there's any such thing. Isn't that a winding wheel, from a pithead?
    • Very quick driveby comment—there is such as thing as a coal mining wheel (they look like this and are used edge-on to the coalface, usually in opencast mining) but Malleus is right, that's a winding wheel not a mining wheel. – iridescent 23:40, 20 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Together with neighbouring Midsomer Norton, Radstock is part of the conurbation and civil parish of Norton Radstock." This is slightly ambiguous. It could mean that the parish of Norton Radstock contains other areas in addition to Midsomer Norton and Radstock, or it could mean that Midsomer Norton and Radstock form Norton Radstock.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Large numbers of mines opened during the 19th century including several owned by the Waldegrave family, who had been Lords of the Manor since the English Civil War. The spoil heap of the mine ...".
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The complex geology and narrow seams gained the field notoriety and three underground explosions ...". Gaining explosions is a strange idea.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "However the decline soon took hold ...". Why "the" decline"?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The last passenger trains serving Radstock closed in 1966." It wasn't the trains that closed.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Some manufacturing industry still exists in the area ...". We haven't at this point been told about any manufacturing industry in the area, so it seems to strange to tell us that there's some still there.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Many of the exhibits relate to the now disused local Somerset coalfield and geology." Disused geology?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The complex geology and narrow seams gained the field notoriety and three underground explosions, in 1893, 1895 and 1908 were amongst the first attributable solely to airborne coal dust." There's something wrong with this sentence, in that first part doesn't seem to match the last part, or there's something missing.
  • Hopefully resolved.
History
  • "... the Roman road that ran through what is now part of the A367 in Radstock". Ran through it? Rather than along it?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "As a result, the town was known as Stoche at the time of the Domesday Book of 1086, meaning the stockade by the Roman road, from the Old English rad and stoc." I can't quite make sense of this. Obviously Radstock is pretty close to rad stoc, but where does "Stoche" fit in?
  • I need to go back to some sources on this one
  • Hopefully now resolved.
  • "Radstock was the terminus for the southern branch of the Somerset Coal Canal, which was turned into a tramway." Do we know when it became a tramway?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "... the broad-gauge line was converted to standard gauge and connected to the Bristol and North Somerset Line connecting it to ...". "Connected ... connecting" is rather awkward.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The Radstock Railway Land comprises an area ...". This comes out of the blue. What's the "Radstock Railway Land", and why is "Land" capitalised?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "... which has been subject to planning and development applications." So has most of the UK, so what's this getting at?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The last passenger trains serving Radstock closed in 1966 ...", Trains don't close, services do.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Some manufacturing industry still exists in the area ...". Same point as I made about this in the lead. This is the first we hear about any manufacturing industries in the area.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "More recently Radstock has increasingly become a commuter town ...". Radstock is either a commuter town or it isn't; it can't become one "increasingly".
Coal mining
  • "... gained the field notoriety and three underground explosions ...". As I said about this in the lead.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "However the decline soon took hold ...". Why the decline?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "In 1896[8] they were owned by Writhlington, Huish and Foxcote Colliery Co., and by 1908,[9] this had been changed to Writhlington Collieries Co.". Did the company just change its name, or did the owners of the Writhlington, Huish and Foxcote Colliery sell out to Writhlington Collieries?
  • After a quick trip to the library & reading about the 1899 strike this is hopefully resolved.
  • "The Upper and Lower Writhlington, Huish & Foxcote were all merged into one colliery." Obviously the "&" is a MoS no-no, so was the name of the colliery "Huish & Foxcote"?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The spoil heap is a now Writhlington Site of Special Scientific Interest, and includes 3,000 tons of Upper Carboniferous spoil from which more than 1,400 insect fossil specimens have been recovered, including Phalangiotarbi,[10] and Graeophonus.[11] and the world's earliest known Damselfly,[12] It is a Geological Conservation - Protected Site." There are a few things wrong with this sentence, apart from its attempt on the world length record. Why "fossil specimens" rather that just "fossils"? Is the bit following "Damselfly" meant to be a new sentence? Is " Geological Conservation - Protected Site" an official designation? Whether it is or not, there's a problem with that hyphen. Should it be some kind of dash?
  • Hopefully resolved.
Governance
  • "This is currently being reviewed by a Community Governance Review ...". We need to put a time stamp on that. As of 2010?
  • Hopefully resolved.
Geography
  • That very short opening sentence looks rather lonely. Can't that be integrated somewhere?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "... forcing the coal measures to break along fractuces ..." Is "fractuce" a geological term, or should that be "fractures"?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The base of the Kilmersdon valley ...". This is the first we've heard of the Kilmersdon valley (Kilmersdon Valley?). Does Radstock sit in the valley?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Above this on both sides of all of the valleys ...". What valleys? Are we talking about the valleys of the Mendip Hills? What's happened to Radstock? My impression is that we're being treated to a potted geology of the Mendips, but we need to focus on the geology of Radstock.
  • Hopefully resolved.
Transport
  • "Radstock was the terminus for the southern branch of the Somerset Coal Canal, which was turned into a tramway." Seems a bit abrupt. When?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "As part of the development of the Wiltshire, Somerset and Weymouth Railway ...". These links to the counties are puzzling. Was there ever a "Wiltshire, Somerset and Weymouth Railway"?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "It currently runs from Dundas Aqueduct ...". By now we've lost track of what it is that "it" is referring to.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The stations were adjacent to each other in the centre of the town, and each had level crossings ...". Is that plural correct? Lots of level crossings each in the town centre?
Places of interest
  • Not fond of the section title, makes it seem like a tourist brochure.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Radstock is home to the Radstock Museum. Housed in its former market hall ...". I'm not a great fan of the "home

to" or "boasts" school of writing, but in this case it's also ambiguous. It makes it seem like the museum is housed in its own formet market hall.

  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "Other areas include aspects of local history including the school and shops, and industries such as agriculture, a forge and carpenter's shop." A forge or a carpenter's shop isn't an "industry".
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • Hopefully resolved.
Education
  • "The school is notable for its orchid project which has won numerous awards including a gold medal at the 2009 Chelsea Flower Show." Seems to be undue empahsis on thsi school and its orchids. Its already been mention in the previous section; at the very least this material needs to be brought together.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The school has also won awards in business with their enterprise companies." "School" is obviously singular.
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "The school has received the Sportsmark Award by Sport England and Artsmark Silver Award." Should this read "... from Sport England, and the Artsmark Silver Award"? What's the "Artsmark Silver Award" anyway?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • "As a community college, it has expanded its range of vocational programmes, and has become an established part of the community. The college works with local employers to provide training programmes that meet the needs of both employers and employees. This ranges from short skills workshops, through to NVQs, BTEC, Higher National Diplomas and apprenticeships." This looks suspiciously like something copied from their advertising brochure, but is clearly dwelling too much on the College at any rate.
  • Hopefully resolved.
Religious sites
  • "Radstock contains four churches, united by the setup of "Churches together in Radstock". I'm not at all sure what "united by the setup" means. Might "united under the umbrella of" be better?
  • Hopefully resolved.
  • The second paragraph has almost nothing to do with Radstock's religious sites; looks more like a potted biography of Dom Ambrose Agius.
  • Hopefully resolved.
Notable people
  • Looks a bit sad, that bulleted list with just a single entry. If she's really notable, can't she be integrated into the body of the article?
References
  • Citation #23 appears to be dead.

Thanks you for your comments - hopefully they are now all resolved.— Rod talk 11:39, 21 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Radstock/GA1&oldid=1044207202"