Talk:Q79 (New York City bus)/GA1
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:31, 18 April 2020 (UTC)
Comments
- Lead is definitely lacking here. I'd look for a three or fourfold expansion given the size of the article. You should certainly include when it opened and what ran on it, etc.
- "Little Neck Long Island Rail Road station" sea of blue and a confusing one at that.
- "Little Neck – Little Neck" confusing!!
- " the Q79 has had" just "had" no has.
- " which is why the route was almost discontinued in the 1990s, and was discontinued in 2010" bit clunky, repetitive.
- @The Rambling Man: Do you have any suggestions on how to rewrite it?--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 15:54, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- I'm not convinced it really needs to even be in this section as you seem to cover it again in the subsequent "Service cuts and discontinuation" section... The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 17:14, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Removed. Done--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 17:22, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- I'm not convinced it really needs to even be in this section as you seem to cover it again in the subsequent "Service cuts and discontinuation" section... The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 17:14, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Do you have any suggestions on how to rewrite it?--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 15:54, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- "a largely suburban and low density areas" mix of singular and plural here.
- Add (LIRR) after the first expanded version.
- " along Little Neck Parkway" quick repeated.
- "At the public hearing... repetitive with public hearing and route repeated in the same sentence.
- " Hazeltine Electronics Corporation" was this not a "traffic generator"?
- It was not mentioned in the document from 1996, so presumably it was either closed, or the demand from the plant did not end up resulting in increased ridership.--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 15:54, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- "on June 4, 1950 against" comma after 1950.
- "couldn't run " avoid contractions.
- "the MTA announced" what's MTA and link it first time.
- " $272 million dollar " remove dollar.
- "opposition from the village of Floral Park." no reference for all this.
- Ha. I must have been tired and did not bother to put the citation in at one point. Done--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 15:54, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- " Port Washington Branch " overlinked.
- UniTicket - what's this?
- " Village of Floral Park" why is Village capitalised here (and the instance after).
- " the Floral Park LIRR " overlinked.
- "impact.." one too many periods.
- "one of 20" one of twenty.
- "B-84 and B-85" why not "B-84, B-85"?
- Ref 1 has spaced hyphen, needs to be en-dash.
- Ref 13 needs fixing.
- Avoid SHOUTING in ref titles.
- Ensure all refs have publication or accessdates or both, be consistent.
- Just noted the closure date isn't mentioned in the prose, other than in the lead.
That's all I have, so it's on hold. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 11:42, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Kew Gardens 613 this is looking good but the lead still needs expansion. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:10, 21 April 2020 (UTC)
- Kew Gardens 613 just checking you saw, we need an expansion of the lead, and then this is done. Cheers, The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 19:54, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: I just expanded the lead.--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 23:26, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
- Jolly good, I made a couple of minor tweaks but I'm happy to promote now. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 06:58, 27 April 2020 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Thanks for being patient and for the good review! I see someone else says jolly good! Stay safe and well.--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 08:46, 27 April 2020 (UTC)
- No worries, and likewise. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:53, 27 April 2020 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Thanks for being patient and for the good review! I see someone else says jolly good! Stay safe and well.--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 08:46, 27 April 2020 (UTC)
- Jolly good, I made a couple of minor tweaks but I'm happy to promote now. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 06:58, 27 April 2020 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: I just expanded the lead.--Kew Gardens 613 (talk) 23:26, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
- Kew Gardens 613 just checking you saw, we need an expansion of the lead, and then this is done. Cheers, The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 19:54, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- Kew Gardens 613 this is looking good but the lead still needs expansion. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:10, 21 April 2020 (UTC)