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Talk:Pyramid of Userkaf/GA3

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Reviewer: Redtigerxyz (talk · contribs) 10:35, 27 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
  • Please add dates for Userkaf, Djedkare Isesi, Djoser, Khafra, much later Saite period, Khaemweset, 26/3/4/5th Dynasty etc.
Green tickYDone.
Add ending for Saite. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:21, 31 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Green tickY Done. Iry-Hor (talk) 11:48, 2 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What is a Cult pyramid? short explanation for clarity.
Green tickY It was a pyramid destined to receive the Ka (the soul) of the pharaoh and housed a statue representing the soul. I added a sentence explaining this as well as two references on cult pyramids. Iry-Hor (talk) 19:58, 27 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
  • The lead introduces new info about the predecessor. It should be put in the "first hypothesis". Why does the lead favour the first hypothesis?
Green tickYExperts on 5th dynasty pyramids such as Verner and Lehner (see their books cited) all agree that they were indeed profound changes of the ideology of kingship from the 4th to the 5th dynasties: the pyramids became smaller but much more decorated, the pharaohs concentrated on building solar temples rather than their own tombs etc. The first hypothesis asserts that these changes affected the layout of the temple. I changed the lead slightly so that it says that they were indeed changes of ideology but is not affirmative and does not say that these affected the size and decoration of the complex. Note, about why these changes may have started under Userkaf's predecessor, see the wiki page on Shepseskaf. If you think I should change it more, let me know. Iry-Hor (talk) 20:17, 27 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead does not cover the present state of complex, only the pyramid is covered.
Green tickYYou're right I added something on the current state of the complex.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
  • Add author, date, publisher, isbn (if applicable), page nos., language (for non-Engish) for all references, including web ones.
Green tickY Done. Iry-Hor (talk) 11:48, 2 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • You may want to separate explanatory and reference notes. (Not compulsory)
I don't know exactly what you mean ? Iry-Hor (talk) 11:48, 2 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2c. it contains no original research.
  • There are many graphic images, which are created by users. Are these based on any books or other references? Else may be viewed as OR.
The computer generated renderings of the pyramid are indeed user-created but as far as I can tell, they match the plans and layout of the pyramids and their complexes as shown in Mark Lehner's book. If you want I remove the pictures or can add to the captions that these are "possible" recreations. Iry-Hor (talk) 19:41, 27 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Remove if references not found. --Redtigerxyz Talk 06:21, 31 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Green tickY Done. Iry-Hor (talk) 11:48, 2 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
  • The Layout img does not have the mortuary temple?
Green tickYYes it does, the mortuary temple is the ensemble courtyard + chapel + entrance corridor as well as some magazine rooms. I edited the caption for this to be clear. Iry-Hor (talk) 19:37, 27 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
7. Overall assessment.

ON HOLD Pass GA. Comments addressed