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Talk:Promos (The Office)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ed! (talk · contribs) 00:54, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "The office is excited to see promos for the upcoming documentary "The Office: An American Workplace."" -- Some more background might be needed here. Maybe change to: "The office is excited to see promos for the upcoming documentary "The Office: An American Workplace," which will consist of the daily footage of them that has been compiled over the past nine years."
  • " However, many of the workers are dismayed to learn just how much of their activities have been recorded, and how much of their conversations the microphones picked up." -- Some examples might be good, such as Angela and Dwight's affair. Worth a mention here.
  • "She does talk to Brian, primarily to talk about her recent troubles with Jim" -- Something wrong with this sentence.
  • Plot should be expanded with a line or two about Jim and Pam's ongoing trouble, especially the events toward the end of the episode.
  • The lead mentions Athlead but does not explain what it is. Maybe add this in at the plot section.
  • "after some arguing, jointly call Angela's husband Sen. Robert Lipton to inform him that the documentary will probably out him and reveal that Angela slept with Dwight." -- First, note the actor who plays Lipton, second, maybe explain when the affair happened.
  • "The title of the in-series documentary, The Office: An American Workplace, is the name given to the series itself when it was broadcast in the UK to differentiate it from the British version of the show." -- I don't think I understand. So "The Office: An American Workplace" was the name of the UK version aired in the UK?
    Other way around. It's the name of the American version when it aired in the UK.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 01:26, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • One duplicate link (Ryan Howard) but no dab links and no problems with external links.
  • Image appears to be properly licensed. No problems with stability or neutrality.
Placing the article on hold pending fixes. —Ed!(talk) 01:12, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I think I got everything. How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 01:26, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Great work! Passing GA. —Ed!(talk) 12:16, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]