Talk:Pratap Chandra Lal/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Catlemur (talk · contribs) 22:36, 27 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I will start the review tomorrow.--Catlemur (talk) 22:36, 27 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The lede gives the impression that he fought in the Sino-Indian War, while the article states that he rejoined the air force right after it ended.

Comma between Ludhiana and Punjab in the infobox. Replace Punjab with Punjab Province (British India) in the wikilink.

Replace India with British India in the infobox. He later commander the entire Indian Air Force so add that to commands in the infobox.--Catlemur (talk) 08:18, 28 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Early Life section is lacking information on Lal's parents, what were their names and jobs, were they wealthy?

Was he an only child?

Where did he undergo his primary education?

What is his ethnic and religious background? That would explain why he sided with India during the partition.

When, where and why did he get his flying license?

The article should have a minimum of one reliable reference covering every paragraph, which is placed at its end. Many paragraphs are currently unreferenced.

Change Flight lieutenant to Flight Lieutenant.

"He moved to the Manning department at Air Headquarters." - Is Manning a town or Manning as in Human Resource Management? If its the latter, department should be capitalized and you need to give a location for where he worked.

embarked for United Kingdom - embarked for the United Kingdom

King Tribhuvan faced a coup d'état from the Rana dynasty. He took refuge in the Indian Embassy. - merge those sentences.

Add more details about Tribhuvan's rescue if possible.

Wikilink provident fund. Isn't it the same thing as a pension? If so remove pension from the sentence.

Is it just Air Officer Maintenance or something along the lines of Air Officer-in-Charge Maintenance?

Hindustan Aeronatics Limited subheader to Hindustan Aeronautics Limited.

He brought about a lot of innovations at HAL. - Remove this sentence, as the rest of the paragraph already use phrases such as "introduced for the first time" and "was instrumental in the establishment".

No.16 squadron - No.16 Squadron

Wikilink air superiority.

Did Lal introduce any changes in doctrine or order the purchase of new equipment during his tenure as Air Chief Marshal?

With the IAC increasing in magnitude and complexity - With the IAC's operations increasing in magnitude and complexity

What's an "apex body"? Wikilink if possible.

Lal also served as the Chairman of the Indian Tube Company - between which dates?

J. R. D. Tata, the Founder and long-time Chairman of Air India was unceremoniously dropped from the Board by Prime Minister Morarji Desai - Decapitalize founder, why was he dropped?

Add more information on his wife, when did he marry? Did he have children?

What's a fighter jock?

Unlike earlier Chiefs - decapitalize chiefs.

The source for Awards and decorations is a photo of some medals. Replace it with a more reliable one, that actually lists all the decorations Lal received.

What makes Bharat Rakshak a reliable source?

References 11 and 40 need a page numbers.

References using multiple pages should take the form of pp=11-17 instead of p=11-17.

He is a Brahmo according to one of the categories at the bottom, yet no reference to it is made in the article.

Add categories regarding his service in World War 2 and Indo-Pakistani War of 1965, as well as one referring to his death from a heart attack. Select and add the appropriate categories from .--Catlemur (talk) 08:06, 28 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Nominator has not addressed any of the concerns raised in the review or edited the article since nominating it. All while actively editing other articles. The article has therefore failed the review.--Catlemur (talk) 20:03, 8 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Catlemur:, This is embarrassing. I completely missed the notification that you had started work on reviewing the article. Completely my bad. Let me fix the issue and execute the changes and put it up for nomination. Mea culpa.Zwerubae (talk) 03:27, 9 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]