Talk:Pope Francis/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 08:09, 28 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Comments should be up within a week. If I do not have the review up by then, please ping me or leave a message on my talk page.

Sorry for not getting back here sooner. I am drafting the review now and hope to have it up in a few days. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:37, 7 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Here we go..... Snuggums (talk / edits) 02:40, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

I wouldn't place any pictures except for infobox in the lead section, and am not sure what benefit File:La Messa del Crisma.jpg gives
The WP:LAYOUT guidelines (MOS:PARAGRAPHS to be specific in this instance) discourage really short/really long paragraphs. I currently see three short paragraphs followed by one large paragraph and then a reasonably sized one. Try to arrange these so there's more of a balance in paragraph length.
Is "simpler" the best word to describe his approach to the papacy or the vestments he favors?
"most notably" isn't really neutral phrasing
six references for "and elsewhere" seems excessive per WP:OVERCITE; consider grouping or removing as two or three would be better
Something about "Summarily Pope Francis reiterates that" reads awkwardly

Personal life

Date of birth should be included here
It would help to mention all siblings by name
Why is Francis referred to by his last name here when it is rarely (if ever) used by the public?
I'd simply say María Elena is Francis' sister for simplicity sake rather than "His [Mario José's] daughter"
"She is the Pope's only living sibling. His brother Alberto died in June 2010"..... transition is too abrupt
"Bergoglio has been a lifelong supporter of the San Lorenzo de Almagro football club. Bergoglio is also a fan of the films of Tita Merello, neorealism and tango dancing, with an 'intense fondness' for the traditional music of Argentina and Uruguay known as the milonga" is completely trivial and should be removed
"Shortly after midnight, early in the morning of Tuesday, 19 August 2014, Alberto's son and Pope Francis's nephew, Emanuel Horacio Bergoglio, 35, was seriously injured when his car slammed into the back of a truck carrying grains. Emanuel's wife, Valeria Carmona, 39, and her two young sons (Pope Francis's great-nephews), Antonio Bergoglio, 8 months, and Joseph Bergoglio, 2 years old, were killed. The Vatican press office, in a statement, said that the Pope was asking for prayers for his deceased relatives" would be better suited for an article on Francis' brother Alberto than it would here; it's not something he's particularly noted for

Pre-papal career

Still not sure why he's listed by his last name
MOS:PARAGRAPHS issues throughout much of this section

Jesuit

"he had a crush on a girl he met at an uncle's wedding, so much so that"..... reads awkwardly
What did he travel to Jerusalem for before the Yom Kippur War broke out?
Add a comma after "In Germany"

Cardinal

Not sure "unique" from "unique devotion" is a neutral description
"On the death of Pope John Paul II" → "After Pope John Paul II died", also add the date of Paul's funeral
Add a comma after "In the National Catholic Reporter"

Relations with Argentine governments

I still don't know why Francis is listed by last name in this section

Dirty War

"clairified" from "It was clarified" should be revealed

Fernando de la Rúa

A rather short section, should be expanded or merged per MOS:PARAGRAPHS

Papacy

"Elected at the age of 76, Francis is reported to be in good health"..... was (this was from two years ago), "healthy" would be better than "in good health", and I'd clarify that this report came from when he was elected back in March 2013
The "Papal documents", "Clerical titles", and "Consistories" sections are all rather short and should also be expanded or merged with other sections per MOS:PARAGRAPHS

Teachings

Homosexuality

"practice" and "person" shouldn't be italicized, even if used for emphasis or clarity

Public image

The last two paragraphs should be merged per MOS:PARAGRAPHS

Titles and styles

Again, MOS:PARAGRAPHS

References

Dead links to fix
FN2: Should read Sky News Australia
FN3: Not really a good source to use
FN10: BBC shouldn't be italicized
FN12: Should read The Independent
FN13: Should read Irish Independent
FN14: Should read Reuters without italics
FN15: Should just read The New York Times in italics
FN16: Should just read GMA News and Public Affairs
FN17: Should just read Human Rights Campaign
FN18: Should just read MSNBC
FN19: Reuters shouldn't be italicized
FN20: Missing author Andrea Tornielli
FN26: "The Telegraph" should read The Daily Telegraph
FN27: Not a strong enough source for this claim
FN31: "Bbc.co.uk" should read BBC News
FN32: "TIME" should be in italics and only the first letter should be capitalized
FN33: Same as FN31
FN36: "Vatican.va" should read Holy See
FN37: "Lanacion.com.ar" should read La Nación in italics
FN43: Contains a HARVref error as it tries to cite a book not listed within the article. Install this script to see the problem.
FN46: Daily Mail is not a reliable source
FN51: "Poy.time.com" should read "Time" in italics
FN52: Same as FN46
FN53: Same as FN19
FN56: "chicagotribune.com" should read Chicago Tribune
FN59: Catholic-Hierarchy.org shouldn't be italicized
FN60: Should read NBC News
FN65: Just links to a general main site
FN66: Should read Florida International University, though
FN68: Has a stray "[" right before "The Vatican Today"
FN69: Has a stray "[", and should read "Irish Independent" in italics
FN78: "Blomberg" → "Bloomberg"
FN81: "Theatlantic.com" should read The Atlantic in italics
FN83: Should just read National Catholic Reporter in italics
FN88: Same as FN's 19 and 53
FN90: "Clarin.com" should read "Clarin". Given how Clarin is a DAB page, it would be helpful to specify which one is being referred to.
FN94: "The" is part of the title for The Washington Post
FN102: "Thereseoflisieux.org" should read Thérèse of Lisieux
FN112: Capitalize the "T" in Chicago Tribune
FN114: Missing author, name of work, and date/accessdate
FN115: Same as FN83
FN121: The Guardian should be italicized
FN126: Same as FN37
FN127: Should read El País in italics
FN128: BBC News shouldn't be italicized
FN132: Should read "Vatican Insider"
FN's 141 and 142: I'm not sure "LifeSiteNews" is reliable
FN155: "telegraph.co.uk" should read The Daily Telegraph
FN's 157–159: Christianity Today should be italicized
FN160: "JTA" should read Jewish Telegraphic Agency
FN165: Same as FN27
FN176: Why are three URLs with only titles used here? The only link needed is this to begin with, and it needs work name, date, and author
FN177: Missing author
FN178: The New Yorker needs to be italicized
FN179: Same as FN12
FN180: Same as FN26
FN183: Same as FN121
FN184: Same as FN32
FN185: Should read CBS News
FN186: Same as FN19
FN188: Same as FN128
FN189: Catholic News Service shouldn't be italicized
FN191: "News.va" should read The Vatican Today
FN192: Missing work parameter
FN193: "guardian.co.uk" should read "The Guardian" in italics
FN194: Euronews shouldn't be italicized
FN195: Same as FN's 31 and 33
FN200: CNBC shouldn't be italicized
FN202: Should read PBS
FN203: Same as FN155
FN205: Catholic News Agency should not be in italics
FN206: Needs work parameter
FN207: Fox News is not a strong enough source for the claim used
FN208: "In.reuters.com" → "Reuters"
FN209: Same as FN's 128 and 188
FN210: Same as FN36
FN211: Same as FN's 121 and 183
FN212: Same as FN191
FN215: Same as FN's 128, 188, and 209
FN216: "macleans.ca" should read Maclean's in italics
FN217: Los Angeles Times needs to be in italics
FN219: USA Today needs to be italicized
FN221: Same as FN's 27 and 165
FN239: Same as FN's 31, 33, and 195
FN240: "latimes.com" should read Los Angeles Times
FN247: Same as FN94
FN248: Same as FN128
FN250: "TIME.com" → "Time"
FN251: "Patheos.com" → Patheos
FN256: Needs work parameter
FN288: Same as FN19
FN289: Same as FN's 37 and 126
FN291: Same as FN3
FN292: Same as FN's 27, 165, and 221
FN293: Same as FN's 31 and 33
FN294: Same as FN31
FN296: Same as FN's 19 and 288
FN's 297–300: Same as FN114
FN301: Same as FN's 3 and 291
FN303: Should read "CNBC"
FN307: Same as FN's 27, 165, 221, and 292
FN309: Should read The Catholic Herald in italics
FN310: Reliable?
FN311: "The Washington Post" needs to be italicized
FN312: Same as FN's 83 and 115
FN313: Same as FN's 141 and 142
FN323: Same as FN's 83, 115, and 312
FN324: Capitalize the "T" for The Guardian
FN327: Should read Cybercast News Service
FN328: Same as FN's 27, 165, 221, 292, and 307
FN329: Not sure if this is the best source to use
FN330: The Catholic Telegraph should be italicized
FN's 338 and 339: missing authors, works, and dates/accessdates
FN340: Remove "Catholic.org" as "Catholic Online" should instead be work rather than author
FN349: Same as FN's 141, 142, and FN313
FN351: "cnn.com" → CNN
FN353: Remove "Magazine" from "The Advocate Magazine"
FN354: Same as FN60
FN355: Same as FN's 27, 165, 221, 292, 307, and 328
FN358: Same as FN's 27, 165, 221, 292, 307, 328, and 355
FN359: Buzzfeed is not at all a reliable source
FN360: Shouldn't just be two URL's without authors, work parameters, or dates/accessdates
FN361: Should read Business Insider
FN362: Should read New York Daily News
FN363: Should read International Business Times, also needs author and date
FN's 367 and 368: "The" is part of the title for The New York Times, so it should be added
FN370: Rolling Stone should be italicized
FN371: Bare URL's are subject to linkrot, and I'm not convinced this is a reliable source
FN372: The URL code should not be visible, and this is also missing date and title
FN373: Same as FN207
FN375: The Spectator should be italicized as it is a print source
FN376: "Advocate.com" should read The Advocate in italics
FN377: Same as FN371
FN378: Missing author and date/accessdate
FN379: Same as FN's 46 and 52
FN380: Missing authors
FN381: "CNN" shouldn't be italicized
FN383: Should read "CNN"
FN's 384–387: Missing title, author, names of works, and dates.
FN389: Unreliable
FN391: Should read National Diet Library
FN392: I'm not convinced this is reliable
FN393: Toronto Sun isn't really reliable

Ancestry

I would scrap this section altogether. The ancestors listed aren't even sourced or discussed within the article.

Overall

Well-written?

Prose quality: Could be better
Manual of Style compliance: Many instances going against MOS:PARAGRAPHS as well as italics issues

Verifiable?

Reference layout: Many problems with citation style (including HARVref error)
Reliable sources: A number of subpar references
No original research: In addition to an unsourced section, dead links and HARVref errors make content more difficult to verify

Broad in coverage?

Major aspects: Mostly good, but there are missing bits
Focused: Some parts I feel aren't necessary

Neutral?: Not entirely

Stable?: All good

Illustrated, if possible, by images?

Appropriate licensing: No copyright concerns
Relevance and captioning: Close, but not exactly

Pass or Fail?: Sorry for the delay, but after much thought and analysis, I'm failing this as there are too many layout and reference problems. Better luck next time. Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:36, 21 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]