Talk:Pong Tiku/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ErrantX (talk · contribs) 12:06, 14 June 2012 (UTC) Happy to review this... there look to be only a few issues. First a template!

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Comments

all good --Errant (chat!) 09:27, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
The following discussion has been closed. Please do not modify it.
(adding as I go; I hope I am not too nitpicky :)) Image caption is unclear. cause -> caused?? It appears the image is of the Governor-General (?) - but the caption confused me slightly. Suggest rephrasing it to start Governor-General J. B. van Heutsz, who... - or similar Reworded to fix both issues. Lead There is no context in the lead relating to the region this individual operated in - suggest finding some way to make the link to Indonesia Added "who operated in central Sulawesi, part of modern-day Indonesia." When the Dutch colonials, based in Java, began invading Sulawesi in the early 1900s, Tiku and his soldiers utilised fortresses to withstand and launch attacks during the middle of 1906; there are two periods referenced in this sentence which makes it a little confusing. Maybe split it? How's this? General Check for disambiguation links; I spotted at least one I'll run the tool. Coffee War; no link? No article. Worth a redlink. Suggest a small (couple of sentences?) amount of background about the region at that time. i.e. feudal warlords How's this? First paragraph. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:13, 14 June 2012 (UTC) Prose Piku was born - who?? :) Fixed two In 1880, a war broke out between Pangala' and Baruppu', under Pasusu; sentence fragments confused me. You're saying Pasusu was the Baruppu' leader? Not a biggie but might need a rephrase Clarified Although the Torajans had traditionally valued manpower and not killed people than necessary, Tiku was known to kill men, women, and children; a little unclear - does that mean he was specifically known to have killed Baruppu' people following that war? Or is this just a general comment? Needs clarifying & probably moving Clarified. When Tiku's father died not long afterwards, Tiku became leader of Pangala -> When Tiku's father died, not long afterwards, Tiku became leader of Pangala "When, not long afterwards, Tiku's father died, Tiku became leader of Pangala'."? Tiku also worked on reinforcing his country's defences Done Panggawae's overtook Tiku's capital Done that month, Luwu fell to Dutch forces; I'm not sure this fragment directly relates to the sentence it is attached to. How does Luwu relate to the other locations mentioned in that section. Added "who then moved further inland." after the bit about the colonial forces. As mentioned above, Luwu was another kingdom. When it fell, Tiku's state came under increasing pressure. That's from my first pass :) All in all a decent article. --Errant (chat!) 12:13, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

First pass it looks good - I'll run through it more carefully tomorrow :) --Errant ^(chat!) 23:14, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

• Alright, thanks for the review! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:15, 14 June 2012 (UTC)
  • Ok, looks good. There were a few other minor tweaks but I just went ahead and did them. Happy to sign off on this. --Errant ^(chat!) 09:27, 15 June 2012 (UTC)

• Thanks for the review and fixes! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:07, 15 June 2012 (UTC)