Talk:Poison River

Poison River has been listed as one of the Language and literature good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: August 30, 2017. (Reviewed version).

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Poison River/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Argento Surfer (talk · contribs) 20:07, 21 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Lead
The lead uses the phrase "of the character Luba" twice. The second one can be shorted to just "Luba"
Done. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Unlike in his previous serial" - I don't think in is needed here.
That would turn "Human Diastrophism" into the subject of the sentence, rather than "Hernandez". Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"expanded the page count and altered and added panels to..." - suggest "count, altering and adding panels to..."
I think this one got overlooked. Argento Surfer (talk) 12:20, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, I got stuck on this one. Rewording it that way would seem to imply that he expanded the page count by way of altering and adding panels, which isn't the case ... Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 23:31, 29 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
You're right. Fine as is.

Synopsis
"The story mostly focuses on the people around Luba, focus a chapter on each" - Something's wrong here, but I'm not sure what the intent was.
changed to "with a chapter on each". Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"The story finishes at the point where the first "Heartbreak Soup" story begins." Is this part significant to the synopsis? If so, you need another sentence or two explaining that later serializations pick up where this story ended. Was this a prequel to previous L&R installments? Alternatively, this line could be moved to the Background section.
This gets picked up in the "Background"---the story finishes right where the first published Luba story begins. Maybe "Background" should be moved before "Synopsis"? Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Swapping the sections works for me. Argento Surfer (talk) 12:20, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"her wealthy husband's house when he discovers" I think because would be a better connector here than when.

"friends are ambushed by rightists" - is there a more specific group that could be named/linked there than "rightists"? That seems pretty vague. If not, that's ok.
The politics are pretty (maybe intentionally?) vague in the book. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I thought that might've been the case. Thanks for clarifying. Argento Surfer (talk) 12:20, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

~~Does "works as a bañadora bathhouse girl" mean she played one of these?~~ In the Style section, you clarify that bañadora means "bath-giver". That should happen here, since it's the first mention of it.
Did something change? The text now mentions it in both sections. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
On a second read, it's pretty clear. I think I confused myself with Bandora (instrument) because of the proximity to her being "discovered" by a conga player. Argento Surfer (talk) 12:20, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Peter's estranged father Peter" - Is the second Peter supposed to be Fermin?
Yes. Fixed. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Background and Publication
What issue(s) was Heartbreak Soup? What year?
I've added an endnote giving the original appearances of the first story. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Style and analysis
"novel of the character Luba's life" - Why not just "Luba's life"?
Done. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"dynamic cartooning Kurtzman, Ditko, and Crumb" - why just last names here?
Not sure. I've expanded them now. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Reception and Legacy
"Love and Rockets #36 marked was among a number of publications marked", "declared "there appears to be no merit whastoever" to the it " - some extra words here.
Fixed. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

" easier to tell apart visually" - suggest "distinguish visually"
I wouldn't revert if you made this change, but I'd rather not. Curly "JFC" Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 00:35, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough. Argento Surfer (talk) 12:20, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
no concern
Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
no concern

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
no concern

C. It contains no original research:
no concern

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
no concern
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
excellent work here

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
no concern
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
no concern
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
no concern
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
no concern

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
no concern
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Some minor copy editing needed. Otherwise, good shape. Argento Surfer (talk) 20:46, 21 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Curly Turkey: I think one of the notes on Lead was overlooked. Ready to pass after a reply on that and a swap of Background and Synopsis. Argento Surfer (talk) 12:20, 22 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Passing Argento Surfer (talk) 12:58, 30 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]