Talk:Play (Robyn song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 07:23, 18 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Soon... Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:23, 18 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for picking it up! (off-topic; your userspace inspired me to copy yours as mine was looking terrible). Pancake (talk) 12:03, 18 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

a song by → a song recorded by
set comma after "second studio album"
Robin wrote → She wrote (word repetition)
helmed production → handled its production
1999 with the → 1999, featuring the
influences and a "playful" vibe. → influences in its sound and has a "playful" vibe.
critical response → critical response from [[music journalism|music critics]]

Done

top 40 → top forty

✗ Not done You shouldn't mix "forty" and "31" in the same sentence; also it is generally recommended to use numbers when higher than twelve (?) rather than spelling it out, if memory serves right. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

remove "singles" from "singles chart"
the parent album → its parent album
set a comma after "international label"

Done

Infobox

nothing about the genre? This could be world music?! (But I understand you, on my latest GA, there also isn't a real genre.)

No genre. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

it seems like "Good Thang" has a stand-alone article, so you should link it in the lead, as well.

Removed link from infobox; it's a redirect. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Background and composition

Set a comma after "the strings", as here another enumeration starts
In the first paragraphs, there are a few short sentences which could be combined to sound better instead of clipped.
what type of website is Aftonbladet?
it held a → it incorporated a
Its chorus → The recording's refrain
the "Play" single release → the single release of "Play"
Last two sentences should be mergered into the next section

Done

Release and promotion

set a comma after "second studio album"
add year of release to the lead single in brackets
"Play" was released → Subsequently, "Play" was made available for consumption (alternating words)
July 1999 by → July 1999 through
the single cover art → the accompanying cover artwork
"Good Thang".[8] The B-side → connect these two sentences with a semicolon (;)
parent album were not released → parent album were not distributed (you used "released" twice in a row)
RCA shelved the plans → the label cancelled plans
Add "on 21 May 1999" after "release party"
album tracks → material from the album
the marketing → the promotion ("marketing" sounds weird)
set comma after "following single" and add release year of "My Only Reason" in brackets.

Done

Reception

"Play" received positive reviews in the Swedish press → Upon its release, "Play" was acclaimed by Swedish [[music journalism|music critics]]
what type of website is Dagens Nyheter?
deemed it → deemed the recording (you used "it" already)
"obvious" hit → "obvious" success (you used "hit" already)
fared well → I would say "moderately"
singles chart → remove "singles"
number 34, before → remove comma

Done

top 40 → top forty

✗ Not done Same as above. Pancake (talk) 09:03, 21 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

but it failed → but failed
set a comma before "Electric"
number 6 → number six in that territory
falling off → leaving it

Done

Track listings

flawless

Credits and personnel

liner notes of "Play" → liner notes of the singles's CD release
set a full stop after the opening two sentences from "Recording"
flawless

Done

Release history

Unlink formats and labels

Done

Outcome

On hold for 7 days to allow fixes to the article. Good job! Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:37, 19 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

With my comments being resolved, I can now gladly pass this article. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:55, 21 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.