Talk:Planned Parenthood/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:01, 7 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this, copyedit as I go and jot questions below: Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 07:01, 7 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~accused of distributing "obscene materials"~~ ~~- don't need quote marks here as they are accused of here (i.e. not factually stated. Could also word as " accused of distributing materials deemed obscene"~~

Scare quotes removed.

~~The so-called "Brownsville trials"~~ ~~- were they actual trials, in which case remove the quotes.~~

Scare quotes removed.

~~On February 15, 2006, Cecile Richards became president of the organization~~ ~~- 10 years is a long time...any details to add to this paragraph?~~

Working on it. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 23:49, 7 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Added more details about Cecile Richards.

Umm, has she done anything of note? Looks odd when compared to her predecessor....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:56, 9 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Added that she was recognized by Time magazine. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 00:40, 10 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, something more would have been good but if nothing is coming up we can't invent something. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:41, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. There is a whole Wikipedia article devoted to Cecile Richards. Can you scan it to see if anything is worth bringing over to the Planned Parenthood article about her? Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 15:19, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No, there's nothing else I'd bring from that article. It'd be searching the web. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 18:31, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. I found and added this nugget about Cecile Richards. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:43, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~Make the Facilities into a single paragraph - you might wanna add some more info to make it flow better.~~

Working on it.

Combined and expanded slightly.

~~The Planned Parenthood Global (now renamed to Worldwide availability) section is a bit listy - are there any countries where some notable activities have taken place that can buff the section a bit?~~

Working on it.

Added more prose about global work. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:41, 8 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Additions removed by editor Joel B. Lewis. Digging in again. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 22:17, 8 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Added more prose and references to section. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 23:17, 8 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, that is looking better - the material of para 2 is a good add, but the first sentence I find jarring. I am thinking it should be structured highlighting the ageny's priority and then community response. The para can be trimmed too. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:56, 9 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

OK, working on it. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 09:19, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. Moved things around for you: Planned Parenthood#Planned Parenthood Global. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 05:51, 18 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ok this reference mentions a case in Peru, lists countries affected by Zika, but doesn't say anything about women turning to Planned Parenthood Global. So we need some more material or the whole para comes off as incidental. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 08:02, 18 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Also there is International Planned Parenthood Federation, so am a bit confused about how Planned Parenthood Global relates to that....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 08:03, 18 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. I changed the name of the section heading. I found two more references and I buffed the prose a bit. Still working on it. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 14:58, 18 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. After changing the section name to Worldwide availability we have made some edits and moved things around within the section. Please check it out at your convenience. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 00:21, 23 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, that makes more sense, however, we still need a ref for "Countries and territories in the Western hemisphere affected by the mosquito-borne Zika virus and benefiting from Planned Parenthood Global's reproductive planning outreach " (bolded bit) from somewhere. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:58, 23 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. I took out that sentence, did some copy editing, and am still trying to make the section make more sense. We have found a couple of more references to mine. I have also asked for more input on Cecile Richards. See the discussion below this one that was started by Joel B. Lewis but has stalled. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 13:18, 23 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I think we can delete the second para. It just looks like it is labouring the point of outreach and comes across as repetitive. Without a reference point for the Zika that specifically mentions how Planned Parenthood Global is helping people in these countries, it just looks circumstantial and promotional. The first para is sufficient.Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:50, 23 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dear Cas Liber. OK. Done. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 06:27, 25 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dear Casliber. At your convenience can you please give things another onceover? Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:09, 29 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~Six states have gone ahead with such proposals.~~ ~~- I think they are important (and few) enough to list, either in the prose or as a footnote. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:57, 9 February 2016 (UTC)~~[reply]

OK, added this with references:

Eight states have gone ahead with such proposals, including Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, New Hampshire, Ohio, and Utah. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 08:38, 12 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The Center for Medical Progress videos section needs cites - I am impressed how it is transcluded from the other page, though it is tricky how it then relies on citations in the body of text of the daughter page.

Hi Casliber. It was dicey to keep the two versions aligned so we transcluded from the main CMP video controversy page directly to the germane section in the Planned Parenthood article. It is the entire lead of the CMP page. Cites do not transclude at all. We tried it. They transclude as giant red errors. I will add a hatnote that the section is copied from the CMP page. Cheers! PS: It seems lame that Wikipedia code gnomes cannot figure out a way for us to transclude citations along with copy. {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 15:19, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, look I do think it is innovative and a great idea to keep articles aligned. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 18:32, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Casliber. I solved the riddle of the references. All the references for the transcluded section are LDR style (List Defined References) so all the references are in one bucket on the main article page. So, I linked the section Hatnote to the LDR section on the main page. You can see the reference link here: Planned Parenthood#The Center for Medical Progress videos

It is reference #143 (or it might toggle to #144 or #137) on the Planned Parenthood page and links to the LDR section on the PP2015UVC page. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 14:08, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ok. that'll be ok. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 19:56, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~Re: citation needed for Funding:~~

Hi Cas Liber. Citation added. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 15:01, 26 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~Re: citation needed for Before the U.S. Supreme Court:~~

Hi Cas Liber. Citation moved to end of paragraph. Citation states Update at 8:40 p.m. ET: Senate passed legislation to defund Planned Parenthood and repeal the Affordable Care Act, with a 52-47 vote. so I moved it to the end of the paragraph to cover both components of the paragraph. Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 15:01, 26 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~Using Earwig's copyvio detector, there is a slab of text that is too close to a segment on this website. See comparison.~~ Sorry my bad, ust saw the talk page notice (facepalm)

However, this comparison is a false positive as the website borrowed from wikipedia.

Hi Casliber. When I ran Earwig's on February 16 to preempt this part of the GA review I researched the Praying Catholic Grandma Violently Attacked at Planned Parenthood While Filming Botched Abortion Incident copyright vio suspicion reported by Earwig's and added a notice on the Planned Parenthood talk page in the {{Backwardscopy}} template as you can see. Does that cover it? Cheers! {{u|Checkingfax}} {Talk} 23:36, 1 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality: