Talk:Planet Rock (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 21:59, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I'll have a look soon. First I think you should link Arthur Baker and any other article that are linked in the intro at first mention in the article body

Only person I think who is missing in the first part of the prose was Baker, so I've linked him. Andrzejbanas (talk) 23:55, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Kraftwerk also needs a link, perhas other terms too. FunkMonk (talk) 22:21, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe the real name of Afrika Bambaataa should be stated in parenthesis after the first mention of his name in the article body?
You don't explicitly state the song was featured on the album Planet Rock: The Album as the first track, which I think would be relevant. Also whether it is the same version as the single or not.

So this is a bit of contention for me as on researching there was no album really set-up. This wasn't a single released to promote an album later as Bambaataa was signed as a singles artist. So was the single eventually on the "Planet Rock: The Album"? Yes. Was it a single for the album? Ehh...not really. I think I clarify that later in the prose. Andrzejbanas (talk) 23:55, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

But was it the same version? Also, you state in the intro "The new musical style on the album later became known as Electro." without mentioning any album, or that Planet Rock was featured on one. Some context is needed, it is pretty esoteric now. FunkMonk (talk) 22:21, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I don't have the album, but to my knowledge the song on the "Planet Rock: The Album" version is a longer version that includes the "Bonus Beats" as part as one whole song. Regardless, the song wasn't made for the album. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I have the album somewhere, I'll try to find it, maybe there is additional info in the liner notes. But yes, though it wasn't made for the album, you should state in the intro that it was later featured on it. It isn't trivial, because the album is even named after it. FunkMonk (talk) 07:06, 29 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"During this period" When was that?

I've re-phrased this. I've searched far and wide for specific information regarding release dates (couldn't even confirm one for "Planet Rock" outside a year as several sources states different months). Much of Baker's and Bambaataa's information coming to specific time periods is hazy (later in the article Baker doesn't even remember when he came to New York, from the other material, I would assume its 1981 and other sources confirm that. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"followed by "Happy Days" on North End Records" What is Happy Days? If a song, you could perhaps give a year, which would also help the issue above.

I can't pin down exactly when these were released, but I found information on when it was recorded, which gives it a bit more context. I also seperated what was a single and what was an album. Andrzejbanas (talk) 01:47, 15 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"including "Let's Vote" by" Could also be good with a year here for context.

The above tracks are tracks Baker produced. Again, specific release dates for singles are difficult/impossible to confirm. I don't think copyright dates should be labeled as such either. I can tell you when it charted at least via Billboard Reading through these, I again can't exactly confirm when which tracks were released in which order. It's during a short period, between Baker arriving in New York (1981) and the release of Planet Rock (mid-1982). That's not a specifically huge gap, but I can at least tell you when songs chart to give people an idea. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"introduced Baker to Bambaataa and John Robie" Present Robie as you do the other people, I have no idea what his role was at that point in the article.

From a few various sources, I've dug up some information about John. :) Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

You don't need to give the full names of people after first mention. In any case, you are inconsistent whether you do or not, so one way should be chosen.

I didn't find too many instances of this but I tried to clean it up. I think when we are naming the artists as groups (i.e: Afrika Bambaataa and the Jazzy Five), I should use their full name. I can change it if you feel its not right though. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

It was mainly for given names, so it's fine. FunkMonk (talk) 07:06, 29 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"He had Baker produce "Jazzy Sensation" for Afrika Bambaataa and the Jazzy 5 which was released by Tommy Boy" Could give year here too. Always good for these "historical" articles.

Found a year for this one. :) Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"based on their love of the band Kraftwerk" You have already mentioned the band by this time, though you link and present it here as if the first.

Fixed. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"based on their love of the band Kraftwerk.[1] Baker recalled that when he heard "Numbers" being played" This is unclear, was "numbers" based on their love of Kraftwerk? Perhaps say "the resulting single "Numbers"" or some such.

I tried to clarify this a bit. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"there was nothing written down saying that its source was "Trans-Europe Express" and "Numbers"" If that was the case, why is "Numbers" not mentioned here in the Production section? The reader should not know of such a connection this late in the article by a side note.

I believe there is information about "Numbers" in the production section now. Andrzejbanas (talk) 01:54, 15 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"As a result, Silverman raised the list price of the record stating that the album became "$5.98 list 12-inch" You have not mentioned an album before this point, so the chronology seems disjointed. Or do you mean the single?

Definitely single. Fixed. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:12, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

" A full-length album titled Planet Rock: The Album was released in 1986" You could state whether this album was just a collection of prior singles or had new material, or both. Again, for context.

Expanded a bit here. I think I clarified it enough? Andrzejbanas (talk) 20:51, 2 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"They played the musician the Kraftwerk music they wanted programmed." Why don't you explicitly state which track here? It's pretty integral to the story, and important to clarify early on. What where the thoughts behind using that particular track?

Added info about Numbers being used with an extra source. Andrzejbanas (talk) 20:51, 2 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"The Soul Sonic Force consisted of rappers Mr.Biggs, Pow Wow, and Emcee G.L.O.B.E." Where they gathered for this record, or did they previously perform with Bambaataa?

I tried to get a bit more info on them, Bambaataa seems to have just pulled out members of the Universal Zulu Nation who he performed at shows to create various groups, the rappers here were just a group he happened to grab at the time. Andrzejbanas (talk) 08:40, 28 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"form consited about" Consisted of about?

Changed. Think its ok now. Andrzejbanas (talk) 20:51, 2 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Although Robie described himself as starting out as a die-hard rock musicians" Musician?

Correct. Andrzejbanas (talk) 20:51, 2 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"of talents was as much a phenomenon as ther ecord itself" Missing "that" and some space issues with record.

Fixing. Andrzejbanas (talk) 20:51, 2 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

George Clinton is duplinked now.

Fixed Andrzejbanas (talk) 20:51, 2 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Author William Eric Perkins described the theme of the song as "lyrically simple" that encouraged the listener". I think this is grammatically wrong, not sure. Something is missing or incongruent, what does "that" refer back to?

Tried to clean up a bit here. There is very little about anyone really going into the lyrics of "Planet Rock", but I tried to make it flowable as I could. Andrzejbanas (talk) 01:54, 15 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Pow Wow performs a wordless vocal of "zz-zz-zz" when he forgot the lyrics." Unnecessary mix of tenses.

I have cleared this up now I think. Andrzejbanas (talk) 01:54, 15 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Changes look good. I still think it warrants mention in the intro that the song was later included on an eponymous album.

Fair enough, I've expanded that a bit in the lead. Anything else @FunkMonk: ? Andrzejbanas (talk) 17:40, 20 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good to me now, so I'll pass. Nice someone is taking on classic albums! FunkMonk (talk) 18:50, 20 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @FunkMonk:! It was fun to research and I learned some new stuff on the song myself while digging through documents on it. Thanks for reviewing it! Andrzejbanas (talk) 13:23, 21 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

My pleasure, I'm annoyed I couldn't find my old CD with its liner notes, but I'll notify you if I find anything interesting in them. FunkMonk (talk) 13:33, 21 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Influenced By

Looks to be that the main beats of Planet Rock comes from the theme song of Clint Eastwood movie For A Few Dollars More composed by Ennio Morricone in 1965. Please see in You Tube. Do you agree? If so, it is never mentioned and Ennio Morricone should get some credit. Diazfdx (talk) 22:48, 22 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]