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Talk:Pitfalls/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Lordtobi (talk · contribs) 10:08, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Immediate failures

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  • It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria checkY
  • It contains copyright violations checkY (Earwig's says copyvio has a probability of 58.8% because Google Play is using the lede from your article. )
  • It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid checkY
  • It is not stable due to edit warring on the page checkY

Prose notes

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Lead

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  • They recruited a cellist, violinist, and classical choir for the production. – Does 'they' in this case refer to the group or the recording studio?
  • Most of the songs were written and composed by vocalist Einar Solberg. – Given the preceding sentence, it is not immediately clear that this is the group's vocalist, not any vocalist they hired.
  • Pitfalls charted higher than Malina (2017) – Consider mentioning that Malina was the previous album by Leprous.

Production

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  • ... at Ghostward Studios in Stockholm, Sweden with ... – Add a trailing comma after 'Sweden'.
  • Thirteen were ultimately made, but only nine could be completed due to time constraints. – I suppose this should say "Thirteen songs". I would also clarify how far 'made' goes here, i.e. they began recording but could not do all recordings in time.
  • Indeed, repetition should be avoided, but keep WP:ELEVAR in mind. "Thirteen" here could refer to any noun in the prior sentence; out of the given context, I initially assumed the "halves of the songs" were the ones they made. As for the word "made", I commonly associate it with completion. "planned" might be a suitable alternative. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • He saw Pitfalls as the largest production and musical departure yet ... – Clarify here that it was the largest production for Leprous, not overall.
  • "I Lose Hope" was frowned upon in its infancy, but reached new potential in studio ... – This should probably say "in the studio".
  • Interesting. Grammarly marks this as incorrect and I cannot seem to find any online resources on the matter (even the source you cite uses both versions). But alas, this is not a GAN obstacle. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • ... at which point drummer Baard Kolstad and Børven applied – Consider swapping the names for a better flow.
  • A classical choir in Belgrade, Serbia was booked} – A trailing comma here also.

Promotion

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  • ... as a limited mediabook CD with two bonus tracks, jewelcase CD, 2LP vinyl record ... – I would clarify both "CD" and "2LP" here.
  • Inside Out, accompanied by a source, should also be mentioned here.

Reception

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  • In the reviews table, I would use the more accurate "8.7" score from Blezt, rather than the star-ratings system.
  • Prog, PopMatters, Sputnikmusic, Ultimate Guitar, and drummer Mike Portnoy included ... – If Portnoy is mentioned to be a drummer, the other four entities should be classified as magazines to avoid ambiguity.
  • "Observe the Train" was viewed as a calming interval ... – Make sure that the reader is still aware that this is Araneda's opinion.

Track listing

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  • The commented-out refs (which assume are used to verify the track lengths) are probably not a good choice here. Considering adding them to the respective total lengths.
  • The table for the bonus tracks shows the total length of the entire album rather than only the sum of the two songs. Is this intentional/common practice?

Personnel

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  • Ogendal is not mentioned before this point. I would add an in-line source for them as was done for other not-previously-noted entries. The commented-out ref is thereby redundant.

Charts

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  • Same note as in the lead; mention briefly that Malina was their previous album to establish context.
  • Swap the two sources at the end of the sentence to obtain numerical order.

Notes/references

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  • For accessibility, I would add |trans-title= params for non-English sources.
  • For sources hosted on YouTube, I would mention YouTube as the website.

GA criteria

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments

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  • @Cognissonance: Incoming, my first GA review, so I hope I covered everything. Overall, the article is well-written and comprehensive, pretty much meeting all GA standards. I pointed out a few minor issues above. Once fixed, I'll be happy to promote the article to GA status. Regards, Lordtobi (✉) 10:08, 11 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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