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Talk:Pilot (The Drew Carey Show)/GA1

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 17:01, 2 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • "on ABC" - you should clarify ABC is a television station
  • No comma necessary in the second sentence of the lede, IMO
  • What does "finished joint 29th" mean?
  • "with many comparing the show to Friends" - I'd love seeing some reference that "Friends" is a TV show on a different station
  • So I'm confused. Does Mimi get the job in this episode or not? The last mention of her is at the bar. Is that all that happens with her?
  • Is "Warsaw Tavern" the same bar you mentioned in the first sentence of the plot? If so, you should clarify that. Otherwise, I'm assuming it's a bar in Poland.
  • Why is this mentioned/needed? - "Drew's week gets worse when Larry Almada (Ian Gomez) tells him he is out of the carpool." The current wording implies that the position Drew needs to fill quickly is the carpool slot.
  • Fix your link to Kate O'Brien. Right now it goes to some poet.
  • "The show revolved around the life Carey would have lived, if he had not become a stand-up comedian." - no need for comma
  • "Carey told Helford that he thought he would have been employed in a mid-level management job. Helford explained that it was a relatable job for most Americans at the time." - merge these sentences
  • "Christa Miller wore the same outfit to the audition, rehearsals and the network test." - significance?
  • Maybe indicate what episode of Seinfeld had Miller?
  • He said "I don't..." - please format correctly. - He said, "I don't..."

All in all, a decent article! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:01, 2 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Hurricanehink for taking the time to review this article. I think I've completed everything on the list. Although, I'm not quite sure what to do about the Mimi thing. She just leaves the bar, then returns in the next episode. - JuneGloom Talk 23:37, 2 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Much better, thanks! Yea, as far as Mimi, that works then. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:54, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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