Talk:Pilot (Lost)/GA1

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

5. It is stable.

   

6. It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

   a (tagged and captioned): b lack of images (does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have fair use rationales):

7. Overall:

   a Pass/Fail:

Comments

Although this article has all the solid beginnings of a Good Article, it cannot currently be promoted, for the reasons outlined below. I believe the extent of work needed is such that it would extend beyond a week's holding period, and so am failing the article for the time being. Once the following concerns have been addressed, the article can be renominated. If you disagree with this decision, you may request reassessment at WP:GAR.

• Prose.

A number of sentences read awkwardly, including but not limited to:

1. premiered on ABC in September 22 - on September 22 would read better.
2. directed by J.J. Abrams, and written by J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof - immediate repetition could be worded better.
3. The pilot introduces the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815, that after the crash of their plane end up on an mysterious island. Again could be reworded to improve the flow of the sentence.
4. a scene involving a stuffed polar bear was freeze framed and mocked on the internet, making ABC replace it with a CGI bear. - Use of the word making here seems inappropriate, as it does in sentence making Keaton give up the job. Prompting, leading to, resulting in may be better alternatives.
5. Awards won included three Emmy Awards, Outstanding Drama Series, Directing for a Drama Series to J.J. Abrams and Editing for a Drama Series, with additional nominations to Sound Editing and Writing for Drama Series, an Artios Award for casting, a VES Award for visual effects and two Golden Reel Awards for Effects & Foley. Could stand to be broken up from a run on sentence into a couple of shorter sentences.
6. Many special effects were used, specially bluescreen. - especially?
7. Avoid contractions outside of quotations - it's appears twice.
8. Numerous short sentences make the plot summary read in a stop-start, "bitty" fashion, and could be reworded so as to flow better.
9. Also carefully check comma usage throughout.

• Manual of Style.

1. Per WP:MOS, citations should follow directly on from punctuation, with no space as has been left in some instances here.
2. Images should not be placed directly below subsection headings, as is the case with the third image of Shannon.
3. WP:WAF recommends no more than 100 words for every 10 minutes of air time with regards to plot summaries - while the airtime of both episodes combined is around the 80-85 minute mark, the plot summary runs to almost 1000 words and should be reduced accordingly.
4. "Part 1" and "Part 2" should always be written enclosed in "quotes", per stylistic conventions on episode names.
5. Lead section could stand to be clearer - the relevance of the usage of flashbacks to the series is poorly conveyed.

• Focused coverage

1. Close to a pass, but see above notes on the length of the plot summary section.

• References.

1. The first reference actually states the pilot to have been the most expensive in ABC history, not television history as claimed in the lead.
2. "Lord of the Flies-inspired realistic show about a society putting itself back together after a catastrophe." Requires reference.
3. "not be a normal island" Requires reference. Article cited at the end of the sentence contains a similar but far from identical quote.
4. References 5 & 6, to special features on the series one DVD, should ideally make use of the cite video template or similar, rather than simply linking to the series list wiki page.

• NPOV.

1. While I am satisfied the article is written from a NPOV, the Reception section deals solely with positive reviews. Did the episodes receive no criticism or critical reviews whatsoever? The section should be expanded so as to present both points of view, if any such opposing view does exist.

• Images.

1. All three images fail WP:FUC#10c - fair use rationale needs to be provided for use in this specific article in all cases.

All the best on improving the article further to meet GA standard! Frickative 03:14, 3 October 2007 (UTC)