Talk:Phraates V/GA2
GA Review
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 06:34, 21 September 2019 (UTC)
Happy to review another king! Amitchell125 (talk) 06:34, 21 September 2019 (UTC)
Assessment
[edit]Good Article review progress box
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Sorry for the delay, HistoryofIran. Now I've had a look at the article, I can tell there's a small amount of copy-editing to do, which I will specify. I'll check that and the other criteria this evening and tomorrow. Amitchell125 (talk) 17:35, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
Lead section
[edit]Why are the dates in Kia and Daryaee for Phraates' reign not the same as the dates in the article? I'm confused.Copy-edit with whom he co-ruled with - 'who ruled with him'; to break out with the Roman Empire over the supremacy of Armenia and Mesopotamia - 'to break out between the Arsacid and Roman empires over the control of Armenia and Mesopotamia'; into the east in order to invade Iran - 'to invade Iran'; the two sides ultimately decided to make a peace treaty in 1 CE - 'in 1 CE the two sides agreed a peace treaty'; as in the Roman sphere - 'as being in the Roman sphere'; were slain - 'were both executed'.
Name
[edit]Replace 'the diminutive Phraataces' with 'the diminutive version of his name, Phraataces'.Copy-edit from Old Iranian - 'from the Old Iranian'; to prevent a potential dynastic strife over succession of the throne - 'to prevent conflict over his succession'.Remove 'continued'.
Reign
[edit]The second image - is it relevant for the article?Amend the link for Caesar to Caesar (title).Is it known how old Phraates V was when he became king?His father's regnal dates are not in the main text.Augustus' regnal dates are not in the main text.in a generally haughty tone… - Give the name of the author the quote (presumably from Cassius Dio).Copy-edit as equals - 'as its equal'; to prevent a potential dynastic strife over succession of the throne - 'to prevent conflict over his succession' remove 'continued'; over rulership - 'over the rulership'; the two regions - 'both regions'; his brothers - 'the king's brothers'; sent a mocking response by a letter - 'wrote a mocking response'; Augustus also demanded Phraates to relinquish the crown - 'He demanded that Phraates relinquish his crown '; It was of high importance for Phraates V to be - 'It was important to Phraates V that he was'.Replace By no means being frightened with 'unintimidated'.Remove 'Furthermore'.
Other comments
[edit]I think the article would benefit from a background section - clearly, nothing in known of Phraates' life before he and his mother came to rule the empire, but he lived during his father's reign and a background section could summarise this. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:47, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- Yep - I expanded the article a bit and created a background section, what do you think? --HistoryofIran (talk) 18:59, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- What you've done is OK, but there's not much more added - I would settle for something about his father's murderous nature (see here), and the fact that there the sources for the period provide no information about Phraates V prior to his accession. I'm happy to pass the article once something else is added to the Background. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 19:37, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- According to the Encyclopedia of the Roman Empire, Phraates V was initially considered illegitimate. Worth adding? Amitchell125 (talk) 19:50, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- I'm not too keen on using that source, it's seems quite low quality. According to Augustan Rome 44 BC to AD 14, Phraataces was still considered illegimate regardless. Anyways, I'll tro to expand both the reign and background section in a bit. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:54, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Fair enough, thanks for trying, HistoryofIran. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:57, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- I'm not too keen on using that source, it's seems quite low quality. According to Augustan Rome 44 BC to AD 14, Phraataces was still considered illegimate regardless. Anyways, I'll tro to expand both the reign and background section in a bit. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:54, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- According to the Encyclopedia of the Roman Empire, Phraates V was initially considered illegitimate. Worth adding? Amitchell125 (talk) 19:50, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- What you've done is OK, but there's not much more added - I would settle for something about his father's murderous nature (see here), and the fact that there the sources for the period provide no information about Phraates V prior to his accession. I'm happy to pass the article once something else is added to the Background. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 19:37, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
On hold
[edit]I'm putting the article on hold for a week - it shouldn't take too long to sort out the issues listed above. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:58, 27 September 2019 (UTC)