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Talk:Phil Lynott/GA1

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 21:15, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

They probably should (I thought they were). My trusty copy of British Hit Singles, which would be able to cite all of them easily, has disappeared. I've done the easy ones, Bretonbanquet, you'll have a source for the others, right? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 21:26, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I should be able to source those, give me a day or two :) Bretonbanquet (talk) 21:40, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Are we including any other collaborations in the tables at the bottom? Greedies (#28) for example? Bretonbanquet (talk) 21:46, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Bretonbanquet: I think it makes sense to do all of them - we have had instances of people changing them without a source in the past, and it's a pain to fact check them. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:33, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any reason why Back on the Streets and Run for Cover link to Gary Moore and not the albums?
Not a clue - fixed. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 22:14, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is a good deal of duplicate linking throughout.
Yikes, forgot about that. Crikey, how many times does Gary Moore need to be linked in this article? Anyway, fixed. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 22:14, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Perhaps write his first name too in the beginning of "early life".
  • The Highlight duplicate links script still shows a lot of duplinks.
That's because the first link is in the lead, which I believe is acceptable. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 23:35, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
That would be acceptable yes, but the script I'm using distinguishes between the intro and the article body. For example, you still have Brian Downey linked twice within the same section, and Crumlin linked in two successive sections. But this is not really a big deal for me, but just so you're aware. FunkMonk (talk) 23:59, 27 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Can you tell me where the script you're using is, so I can get it and try it out (and then use it elsewhere), because trying to avoid false positives with the one I've got is a pain. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 00:22, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The script is here[1], it is more colour-blindness friendly as well after I complained, hehe... So now the firs instance of a word has a dotted line. FunkMonk (talk) 00:48, 28 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Got it. All the links should be fixed - a good tool that, I will use it more often I think
  • I once saw a documentary that went into how he was the only black kid around where he lived, and though he does not seem to have experienced serious racism, that it affected him. I think this might warrant some kind of note, as he even seems to have referred to it in some lyrics.[2]
I've dropped in a sentence, though I'm sceptical of the picture in that Irish Times article being c. 1976 - looks like earlier Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think the intro could be beeded up a bit.
I've fleshed things out a bit more - for a 22K article, a three-paragraph lead should suffice. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:58, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "but Downey wasn't interested" Contractions are discouraged.
Trimmed down a bit Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He also took to smearing boot polish under his eyes on stage" Why?
Clarified Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Lynott later discovered Henry Ford's slogan for the Model T, "Any colour you like as long as it's black", which he felt was appropriate for him." I had to Google "Tin Lizzy" to understand that the car is also called that too. Should be made clearer.
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "on an infamous episode where Morrissey regretted ever taking part in the show" Not sure why we need to know this in an article about Lynott.
Trimmed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • The personal life section ha s alot of standalone sentences, which is discouraged. Could some of them be merged?
Done, and reorganised a bit Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • To me it seems that Philomena Lynott could easily be merged into this one, having much overlapping material. But that is of course not consequential to how this here article fares.
I created Phyllis' article as a spin-off from this one, primarily because I thought Phil's family background and relatives was just too off-topic for his article, and the plight of single mothers in Ireland (which her books go into in some depth - see also Philomena (film) though the name is a coincidence) is far more relevant to her than to him. Most people wanting to look up this article will be looking for the rock musician first and foremost. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:09, 2 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could more be said about his writing style and themes? And was he the main writer of Thin Lizzy songs?
I've dropped a paragraph unto "Musical Style" - although various songs are mentioned in the main bulk of the article, a summary at the end would be useful. It's what elevates Thin Lizzy from being a good rock band to a great one, having words that people can relate to and make sense. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:32, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@FunkMonk: Right, I think I've addressed all the issues one way or another, can you have another check? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:58, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The paragraph on writing really rounds it off, passed! FunkMonk (talk) 16:55, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Cheers for another thorough and insightful review, FunkMonk! Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:59, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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