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GA Review

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Reviewer: Stemonitis (talk) 12:00, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are a number of comments, in no particular order. Some are desirable changes, rather than requirements, but others fall under criterion 3. I'd prefer only to rate it against those criteria once my initial comments have been addressed. --Stemonitis (talk) 12:00, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Phaeacius is rarely found in museums because it is very well camouflaged." I assume this means that, since it is well camouflaged, it is rarely collected, and so there are few museum specimens. "Phaeacius is rarely found ... because it is very well camouflaged." could apply anywhere, not just in museums. --Stemonitis (talk) 12:00, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • We already know that the camouflage fools other jumping spiders. I think "Phaeacius is rarely found in museums because it is very well camouflaged" is amusing in an otherwise technical article, and it hints that difficulty getting specimens also hamper research. --Philcha (talk) 13:37, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • A photo of a real Phaeacius would be great. There are a lot of images on Flickr, but none under an appropriate licence. Perhaps ask the photographers if they would release a picture or two under a usable licence. (I see you've also made notes about a possible image at malaeng.com.) A photo isn't necessary for a GA pass, I should add, but it would be a big improvement to the article. --Stemonitis (talk) 12:00, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • The photo at malaeng.com is easily the best - and will be a good puzzle for readers. The people at malaeng.com have told that the photographer gave permission for malaeng.com to use it, and I've emailed the site from which it came. I really do want this one, but it may take time.--Philcha (talk) 13:37, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The URL for Forster (1977a) (doi:10.1080/03014223.1977.9517936) is broken. Including DOIs isn't strictly a GA requirement, but again, would be very helpful. --Stemonitis (talk) 12:00, 6 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be back, I need a rest. --Philcha (talk) 20:55, 7 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Some good work has been done, but I still think the text lacks focus. There are still too many sentences dealing with other taxa. It may be possible to make some of them more directly relevant by changing openings like "Jumping spiders are..." to "Jumping spiders such as Phaeacius are..." or "Like other jumping spiders, Phaeacius is..." Other sentences may need to be removed entirely. Doing this may also reveal problems of referencing; just because something is true in at least one species of salticid, that doesn't mean that it's true of Phaeacius. In the lead, for instance, it is claimed that the eyes of "salticids including Phaeacius [are] 10 times more acute than a dragonfly's". The reference doesn't back this up. It states simply that the eyes of Portia are that acute. I don't doubt that Phaeacius is likely to have similar visual acuity to other salticids, but that needs to be demonstrated by a reference before using data from other taxa to make claims about Phaeacius (ideally one that mentions Phaeacius by name, rather than one discussing "all salticids" or somesuch). In some cases, removal of material seems to me to be the best option. For instance, I would change:

Almost all jumping spiders are predators, mostly preying on insects, on other spiders, and on other arthropods. Most jumping spiders walk throughout the day, so that they maximise their chances of a catch. However, Phaeacius is unusually sedentary for a jumping spider,...

to the more straightforward:

Phaeacius is unusually sedentary for a jumping spider,...

This is focussed on the taxon in question, but still makes the point that other jumping spiders are more active. Later on in the text, "Phaeacius does not use the usual hunting tactics" is followed by a relatively long description of the usual hunting tactics of salticids, even though we have just learnt that they don't apply here. This frequent problem of straying from the topic is the only outstanding issue preventing this article becoming GA, but it will take a fair amount of effort to remedy. The article is otherwise well-referenced, stable, neutral and suitably illustrated, as far as I can see. I'm in no hurry; take your time. --Stemonitis (talk) 05:02, 12 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • I've condensed it a bit and slightly restructured section "Hunting tactics". --Philcha (talk) 09:39, 12 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • IMO what's left is needed to show how unusual Phaeacius, which requires comparisons with jumping spiders and especially with close relatives such as Portia, an effective raider of other spiders' webs. --Philcha (talk) 09:39, 12 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I know you don't like subfamily Spartaeinae, but it's all over the source (p.491, etc.). Distinctive characters include: middle pair of secondary eyes almost as large as the other secondary eye, and fully functional (in more derived jumping spiders the middle pair are vestigial); Spartaeinae lunge rather than jump on prey; most Spartaeinae enter other spiders's webs easily - Phaeacius′ incompetence with webs is exceptional among spartaeines. --Philcha (talk) 11:59, 12 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for the delay in reviewing, but I do now believe that the article matches all the standards for good articles. I have re-read the article this morning, and feels much more focussed now. The weakest side is the use of images, but I can see that none are available yet, and that you are working on that. Congratulations. --Stemonitis (talk) 06:26, 19 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]