Talk:Pete Burnside/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 14:00, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

Will be reviewing this article as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020.

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

General

• All hyphens are to be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH

Lead

• "American former professional baseball player" - try to avoid not having a MOS:SEAOFBLUE violation
• "and left-handed pitcher" - same issue as above
• The entire second paragraph might be better divided into two to make more comfortable to read
• Farm Director doesn't need to begin each word with capital letters
• Wikilink bullpen for non-Baseball readers
• Delink Japan per MOS:OVERLINK

Early life

• "the couple 'separated a few years into the 1930s." - how about separated in the early 1930s
• "and often rode the Chicago "L" to Wrigley Field, where" - it would help to state what the "Chicago "L" is to those unfamiliar with the term
• "helping the basketball team post a 13-3 record his senior year" - record in his senior year
• "Chub Feeney, the Giant president," - Giants
• "was a graduate of Dartmouth and worked out an agreement with Burnside under which Burnside could wait " - try not to repeat Burnside's surname too closely in the same sentence
• "until the spring semester was over to begin his seasons," - season
  • Should be seasons, actually - his college affected multiple years
    • Stratched query MWright96 (talk) 19:16, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
• "thus enabling him to earn his degree." the word "thus" is not needed and the next word enabling can be changed to allowing if you think it would improve the article
• Wikilink double-major to Double majors in the United States

Career

• St. Cloud Rox is a dab link that should be rectified
• "in October of 1953." - should be October 1953 per MOS:DATEFORMAT
• "He was discharged in 1954 and assigned to Minneapolis, then sent to Nashville in a trade between the minor league clubs," - This should be two sentences
• "June 2, he limited the Pirates to two runs in ​5 1⁄3 innings of the second game of a doubleheader" - The beginning of the sentence should be On June 2,
• "A stellar 1955 season in the Class AA Texas League," - please refrain from using non-netural wording such as "stellar" outside of quotations
• "finishing the season on a 1-7 skid." - the word "skid" is informal in this instance
• "he was added to the Giants' first San Francisco roster because the Giants did not wish" - repetition of the term "Giants"
• "While Burnside did not have a great spring in 1958," - spring training
• "Burnside gave up a game-tying home run to Wes Covington" - how about the more formal word of relinquished instead?
• "which he'd learned from teammate Marv Grissom in 1958" - please avoid contractions outside of quotations per MOS:CONTRACTION
• "didn't get it," - same issue as above
• Wikilink bullpen for those unfamiliar with baseball
• "He threw a complete game July 9," - game on July 9,
• "making only one more start the rest of the year" - one more start during the
• "Ed Doherty, the Senators' GM," - Senators' general manager
• Delink Japan per MOS:OVERLINK
• "signing a deal with the with the Hanshin Tigers of Nippon Professional Baseball." - repetition of the phrase "with the"
• "Next year he again won five games but lost 14," - The next year, he
• Wikilink master's degree

Later life

• "Burnside got his master's degree from Northwestern University," - obtained his

References

• References 17, 18 and 20 are missing the page numbers on which those stories are featured on

I shall put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/respond to the queries raised above. MWright96 (talk) 18:19, 5 April 2020 (UTC)

• Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:35, 5 April 2020 (UTC)