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Talk:Persis Foster Eames Albee/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 09:02, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewing this for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive MWright96 (talk) 09:02, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Lead

[edit]
  • References in the lead are not necessary
 Done

Early life and marriage

[edit]
  • "born May 30, 1836" - born on
 Done
  • "was born May 30, 1836 in Newry, Maine, " - a comma is needed between "1836" and "in"
 Done
  • "and from 1869 to 1871 a" - was a
 Done
  • "Soon after the marriage, the couple moved to Winchester. They lived in a white two-story colonial house on the riverbank near a railroad station in the center of town." - these two sentences might be better merged with each other
 Done
  • "The house included a store outlet. Their store having the city's only public telephone made it a natural congregation point." - same query as above
 Done

Career

[edit]
  • "and the company expanded and took over all the floors" - to take
 Done
  • "Fifty years old in 1886," - try to avoid starting a sentence with a numerical figure
 Done
  • "She was a California Perfume Company businesswoman and had pioneered the company's" - repetition of "company"
 Done
  • "in a box kit.[15][11][16][17]" - refs in numerical order please
 Done
  • "Albee later offered to her customers a variety of California Perfume Company cosmetics." - Albee later offered a variety of California Perfume Company cosmetics to her customers.
 Done
  • "Albee is considered Avon's" - considered by whom?
 Done

Later life and death

[edit]
  • "Albee died December 7, 1914" - {[xt|died on December 7}}
 Done
  • "at Templeton, Massachusetts. She was 78 years old." - consider merging this portion of text together
 Done

Citations

[edit]
  • Reference 2's publisher and publication date is missing
 Done
  • Also, the same reference's access date should be in the month, day and year date format
 Done
  • References 5 and 21 are duplicates; only one is needed
 Done
  • THe formatting of the page number for Reference 33 is incorrect
 Done
  • The formatting of Reference 38 is incomplete
 Done
  • newspapers.com should begin with a capital letter each time
 Done

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 13:26, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]