Talk:Peroz I Kushanshah/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 02:13, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Happy to review the article. Amitchell125 (talk) 02:12, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Assessment
[edit]Name
[edit]...which would first be used - prose needs to be improved, as it current doesn't quite make sense.
Reign
[edit]ce ...to a dynasty of monarchs, who succeeded…- The dynasty was seemingly a young branch… - seems to who?
scion - as this term has a number of closely related meanings that could give arise to some confusion, perhaps replace with 'branch'.I would amend His reign marks a shift… to 'Peroz's reign marks a shift…', as 3 shahs are named in the previous paragraph.ce ...which now resembled closely to that...ce ...was approximately identical...'Swastikas' - small sIt was during Peroz's reign−in c. 260−that… - dashes need to be longer.The Ka'ba-ye Zartosht. (caption) The image is of the compound and not part of the Ka'ba-ye Zartosht itself?quote - I would suggest that all the links are removed (see MOS:LINKQUOTE)...the Kushano-Sasanians; - colon insteadIt was during Peroz's reign… the Ka'ba-ye Zartosht image should be moved down to this paragraph.Remove the second link to 'House of Sasan'ce - you don't erect an inscription.Who are Khodadad Rezakhani and Richard Payne?Ardashir I (r. 224–242) - I looked it up and it read 224-241. My mistake or yours?
- There a few issues regarding the chronology of the early Sasanian rulers, such as Ardashir I. I used 242, which as far as I know is the most prevalent one. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:08, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- OK, but if I've understood you correctly, and there's a date in the text that's not cited by Reference 3, then that date needs a citation. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:17, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Done. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:32, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- OK, but if I've understood you correctly, and there's a date in the text that's not cited by Reference 3, then that date needs a citation. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:17, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- There a few issues regarding the chronology of the early Sasanian rulers, such as Ardashir I. I used 242, which as far as I know is the most prevalent one. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:08, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Sources
[edit]It is possible to authorlink: Joe Cribb; Étienne de la Vaissière in the appropriate places.I would use this to add the names of the 2 editors to the source for Cribb, and check the rest of the source information is correct.I would recommend adding
templates for sources where it is appropriate (e.g. for Cribb).I would convert ISBN numbers where appropriate, using this (minor point).Add locations for the following sources: Kia's book is published in Santa Barbara, California; Rapp is published in London (Routledge); Payne is published in BaltimoreThere is a source for Payne, which it would be useful to include. ([1])
On hold
[edit]Hello HistoryofIran, all looks fine, there are some minor issues to sort out which are listed above, some of which I can assist you with. I will also do a little copy-editing before the article is passed. I am now placing the article 
On hold until 23 September 2019. Please complete any amendments by this date, and contact me if necessary. Best wishes, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:16, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Great work
[edit]Things moved so fast at the end, you'd updated the article each time my wife stopped talking about something. Passing the article, congratulations! Amitchell125 (talk) 20:19, 16 September 2019 (UTC)