Talk:Percy Chapman/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 12:35, 16 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

As noted, I'll review this article. It'll be gradual, so of course make sure this page is watched. I'll try to review the lead tonight and go from there. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 12:35, 16 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

A quickie comment, all-caps in references is discouraged. That's something to fix while I search for free time. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 15:56, 22 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think I got them all. Sarastro1 (talk) 17:30, 22 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Here's my lead comments:

"choice to take over from Carr in 1926," for Carr

Actually, I think "from" is correct here; certainly in British English. Sarastro1 (talk) 17:37, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"This cemented his popular fame." This doesn't really feel necessary, especially since the next para does a much better job of explaining this part. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 16:30, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Sarastro1 (talk) 17:37, 29 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Here's early life comments:

"By the age of eight, he was in the school first eleven." Do you mean school's first eleven? (As for first eleven, i'm presuming that's a cricket term, which I've probably come across before but forgot*

I think "school first eleven" is correct, but no reason it shouldn't be "school's" so changed it. And I linked "eleven". Sarastro1 (talk) 21:07, 31 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Just the one issue in that section. Just to help me out for future reference, would a good baseball comparison to this guy be someone who had great power and hit a lot of home runs but didn't do much on the other side or on defense, like a Mark McGwire type? That's how I'm picturing it but I could be wrong. I'll try to get through the other sections a little faster, though alas my free time remains very scarce. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:17, 31 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No problem on the timings. I've been a little busy myself too. I'm not too sure if there is an equivalence with McGwire as my baseball isn't good enough. If there are different styles of batters in baseball, where some try to blast the ball as far as possible all the time and as a result occasionally succeed spectacularly, but equally often (or even more often) fail spectacularly through attempting to do so, that is your Percy Chapman equivalent (as opposed to someone who maybe plays the percentages more and has greater consistency but less spectacular success). But I don't think there is a baseball equivalent of defensive batting (i.e. just trying not to get out rather than score lots) and this is the style of batting which Chapman was pretty dreadful at. Sarastro1 (talk) 21:07, 31 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, I see now. We have more than our fair share of those types of hitters in baseball probably a lot more common there than it is in cricket, granted once that power disappears they're basically useless in a lineup. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 21:13, 31 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll try my hardest to get the rest of this up this weekend. I forgot about it and am a bit embarrassed this is taking so long, especially since I'm usually the guy poking others about this. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 02:44, 8 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

University section done, just have one issue: "Chapman continued to play rugby for Berkshire Wanderers until he was nearly 30 years old.[34] Also for Pembroke, Chapman played as goalkeeper in the football team and" for the Berkshire, and on the football team. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:10, 9 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Actually, both of these are OK in British English. Teams are not usually prefixed "the", and over here we play in, rather than on, teams. Sarastro1 (talk) 11:46, 9 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Mid-1920s:

"and was very successful in early season club matches, including some for his employers." slightly confusing; do you mean that the employers were on hand watching said matches, was he actually facing them, or something entirely different than I'm implying?

It actually means that his employers had a cricket team, and Chapman played for it, but I don't think it is really important so cut it. Sarastro1 (talk) 09:00, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Chapman batted once and scored 8 runs;" eight runs.

Done. Sarastro1 (talk) 09:00, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"leave the field; Chapman took " I think ..the field, and Chapman took.. sounds slightly better, but if you want to keep it as is that's fine.

Done. Sarastro1 (talk) 09:00, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Making progress, even if it is a bit slow. Checked refs to go with this and they all check out to me. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:56, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

England section:

"Carr was a popular choice and the only other serious contender at the time was Percy Fender." while interesting, it's really tengential to Chapman's article, though it does help set up the following section. I won't ask for removal, but it's something to keep an eye on later. (Carr's article is rather cruddy if you're looking to build your to-do list, btw)

If it's ok with you, I'll leave it for now. I think the article has too much and needs cutting before going any further, but to be honest, I think this is needed for context. But I'll give it a think when/if I look at FA. Sarastro1 (talk) 13:57, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"the selectors decided to recall the 49-year-old Wilfred Rhodes to the side and replace Carr as captain,[70] although the latter decision was not unanimous[71] Chapman, at the time fourth in the national batting averages, was appointed in Carr's place.[72] " This is really unclear to me. It reads to me that in the first sentence Rhodes replaces Carr, then in the second that Chapman replaced Carr. Does this mean Rhodes replaced Carr simply on the roster and Chapman was promoted to captain unrelated to the Rhodes arrival? If so make that clearer, since it took a few reads for me to finally get that.

I think I have clarified it. Sarastro1 (talk) 13:57, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"batting extremely skilfully. During" I believe the one l in skilfully is proper for British English (I'm improving), but double-checking it's not a typo to be safe.

Yes, one l in British English. Sarastro1 (talk) 13:57, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"and partly to led Maurice Leyland have a go." to let, you mean? Also,Leyland's linked further down, but he should be linked here since it's the first instance.

I thought MoS did not approve linking within quotations; this first instance is within a quotation. I'm not personally bothered either way! Sarastro1 (talk) 13:57, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Through 1930 Ashes; will complete England section tonight, and ideally the review will be completely done by Wednesday. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 22:20, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Last wave of comments:

"for at the luncheon interval, with, five men out, they had cleared off" I feel like there's an overuse of commas here, but I'm not quite sure which to remove or if that part needs slight rewording.

This was given in the stated reference, but I've just checked another copy of the same text and it looks like a transcription error. So I removed the comma after "with", as given in the other copy. Sarastro1 (talk) 12:45, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

only thing left that I found. I'll put the article on hold and it can finally be passed after it's fixed. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 03:14, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Everything checks out now, so I'll pass this as a GA. Anything above that you notes I double-checked and it does seem fine as is. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 14:35, 14 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]