Talk:Paul Ryan/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 17:41, 24 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed as many dead links as I could and one citation needed tag.Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:35, 25 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for doing so. I'm drafting the review and hope to have it up July 1st or sooner. Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:22, 25 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

As a preliminary note to the nominator (1990'sguy), the article has a number of cleanup tags (citation needed, clarification needed) that ought to be remedied. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:51, 25 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I only see one "citation needed" tag in this article, Jo-Jo. Not sure what else you found or where. Snuggums (talk / edits) 20:41, 25 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Um, yeah. Misremembered it from before I repaired the other one. Sorry. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:47, 25 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No need for his twitter page to be linked here
I'd add the year Ryan married Janna Little
His religion isn't really a defining trait and therefore not needed to include here

The opening sentence is quite a mouthful. Try splitting it into something like "Paul Davis Ryan (born January 29, 1970) is an American politician and member of the Republican Party. He has served as the United States Representative for Wisconsin's 1st congressional district since 1999 and as Chairman of the House Budget Committee since 2011."

It would help to include his siblings' names
"A fifth-generation Wisconsinite" is unnecessary detail and not supported by the given source
"his father was of Irish ancestry and his mother is of German and English ancestry" is not supported by the given source
"One of Ryan's paternal ancestors settled in Wisconsin prior to the Civil War" is not necessary or even supported by the given source
I'm not sure "His great-grandfather, Patrick William Ryan (1858–1917), founded an earthmoving company in 1884, which later became P. W. Ryan and Sons and is now known as Ryan Incorporated Central" is necessary
If known, I'd give the name of the grandfather President Coolidge appointed as U.S. Attorney, and which grandmother stayed with Ryan after his father died
"prom king", work at McDonald's, and work at Oscar Mayer are completely trivial
"After his father's death" should have a comma at the end
Is his fraternity really necessary?

"In his early years working on Capitol Hill, Ryan supplemented his income by working as a waiter, as a fitness trainer, and at other jobs" is unnecessary

Really short paragraphs, sections, and subsections should be avoided per MOS:PARAGRAPHS
The "Committee assignments" subsection is entirely unsourced, and I'm not sure if it should be in list form. I suggest merging this and "Caucus memberships" (which is missing citations for everything except for "Caucus of House Conservatives Republican Study Committee") and containing them within prose.

More MOS:PARAGRAPHS issues
"Ryan, who owns a rifle and a shotgun, is an NRA member, has received an 'A' rating from the NRA's Institute for Legislative Action and has been endorsed by the organization every cycle he has been in Congress" needs a citation

"Ryan attended the second inauguration of Barack Obama out of what he said was "obligation", where he was booed by a group led by a lawyer with the Voting Section of the Department of Justice" is unnecessary
"In 2014, he published The Way Forward: Renewing the American Idea" is unreferenced

"A Roman Catholic, Ryan is a member of St. John Vianney Catholic Church in Janesville, and was an altar boy" should be in "early life and education"
It might be best to merge the family details within a previous section of the article, and would benefit to include his children's birth years.
The marathon claims are trivial, same for his hobbies and sports/music interests

Not sure if this section is needed. If so, I'm on the fence as to whether it needs sources since it seems to be a rehash of previously stated material.

Some dead links still need to be fixed, though it's not as bad as it was before thanks to Jo-Jo Eumerus
References need authors, names of works, titles, and accessdates whenever available
"hughhewitt.com" should read "The Hugh Hewitt Show"
"The Huffington Post", Fox News, Daily Mail, and New York Post aren't really reliable, and Twitter is discouraged when high-quality secondary sources are available
Are "Mashable", "The Daily Beast", "OpenSecrets.org", or "The Hill" reliable sources?

Reference layout: Almost
Reliable sources: Some need replacing
No original research: Not everything is properly attributed, and dead links make content harder to verify

Pass or Fail?: Sorry, but I'm failing this and am not going to place this on hold as there's too many concerns with layout and trivia. Snuggums (talk / edits) 07:58, 1 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]