Talk:Paul Hunter/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Bencherlite ^Talk 01:21, 2 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this. Bencherlite ^Talk 01:21, 2 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'm quick-failing this article for numerous instances of non-neutral language. For example:

"Four months later, Hunter caused a major sensation at the UK Championship by beating world number six Alan McManus 9–4 in the first round".
"at the age of just 17 and three months"
"Hunter's achievements earned him high accolades throughout the game" (also unsourced)
"it was to be the start of a great love affair that he would have with Wembley" (also unsourced)
"where he defeated no fewer than seven players to lift the title "
"he announced his arrival as a genuine force at the top of the professional game"
"but he saved his best form for the 2001 Masters."
"on his way to a famous 10–9 victory,"
"but it did not get any less exciting along the way. After a relatively straight-forward 6–3 victory at the round of 16 stage over Stephen Lee, Hunter triumphed in final frame shoot-outs against Peter Ebdon in the quarter-finals, Alan McManus in the semi-finals and most memorably coming from 0–5 down to beat Mark Williams 10–9 in the final"
"It represented a fantastic start to the year for Hunter,"
"After his best ever season, in which he had been a contender in virtually every tournament he played, it was time for the Yorkshireman to perform in the biggest tournament of all, and that he most certainly did."

I could go on, but the point is made.

Other problems

These are not quick-fail issues, but might help for a future submission.

Lead
- "As well Hunter compiled 114 competitive century breaks [...]" - not grammatically correct
- "In March 2005 Hunter was diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumours, he died from the disease in 2006[...]" not grammatically correct
Early life
- "By the age of 12 had become an outstanding junior talent." not grammatical, and "outstanding junior talent" is a direct quotation from the source so should either be acknowledged as such or reworded.
- "He has won many junior tournaments" - wrong tense
Early career
- "the youngster from Leeds made his debut among the professionals" / "before bowing out" - not encyclopaedic tone
- "before he overcame the John Higgins" - not grammatically correct
Masters champion
- "knocking in four centuries in six frames" - not encyclopaedic tone

I could go on, but again, the point is I hope made.

The "death and legacy" and "personal life" sections have too many one-sentence paragraphs, which ought to be merged together, moved elsewhere, or expanded.

Too many problems in the quick-fail list to ignore. Feel free to resubmit once the article has been rewritten. Bencherlite ^Talk 01:38, 2 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]