Talk:Patsy Torres/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:42, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
I will review this for you now! --K. Peake 07:42, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- The pop music genre is not sourced anywhere in the body
- Done
- Wikilink trumpet in the infobox
- Done
- In the body, the label is identified as Joey Records but it is called Joey International here; which is correct really?
- Done
- Patsy Torres Records is not sourced anywhere in the body
- Done
- The vocal versality part should be sourced in the body while kept here, though the quote can remain as sourced in the lead
- Done
- Wikilink trumpet
- Done
- The wedding event is not notable for the lead
- Done
- "by record promoter Albert Esquivel and released" → "by Albert Esquivel in 1980, after which they released"
- Done
- "and after signing a" → "and she had signed a"
- Done
- Pipe Budweiser to Budweiser trademark dispute
- Done
- Remove the fact the song was written by her grandfather since that is not notable for the lead
- Done
- You can merge the first number-one single part with the elevation into a successful singer sentence
- Done
- Remove the names of the predecessors since these are not notable here
- Done
- "During this time, Tejano music entered its golden age, and Torres was" → "At this point, Torres was" and only keep the pipe on Billboard itself plus remove the comma after the magazine
- Done
- Remove the most-played on radio stations because this is not notable from just two songs
- Done
- "the United States warning, children of" → "the United States, warning children of"
- Done
- "she signed with" → "the singer signed with"
- Done
- Pipe WEA Latina to Warner Music Latina
- Done
- "Torres was the first female Tejano singer" → "Torres was the first Tejano singer"
- Done
- "who helped expand Tejano music's" → "who helped expand the genre's"
- Done
- The "Te Juro" part is not notable for the lead; rather start from the award sentence but as "In 1996, Torres won the Songwriter Award..."
- Done
- Pipe BMI to Broadcast Music, Inc.
- Done
- Merge the fourth para with the above one per overly short size
- Done
- "Torres continues her" → "Torres has continued her" but this is not sourced as being ongoing in the body
- Done
- "Torres received a doctorate in" → "The singer received doctorates in"
- Done
- "who helped spearheaded" → "who helped spearhead" but this fact can be written out and sourced in the body's personal life section
- Done
Career
[edit]Early life and career beginnings (1957–1982)
[edit]- "Her only musical influence" → "Patricia's only musical influence" per MOS:SAMESURNAME and to avoid starting two consecutive sentences with her
- Done
- Remove commas next to William Torres
- Done
- "several instruments and wrote songs, and who provided Torres" → "several instruments, wrote songs, and provided her"
- Done
- "the saxophone, Torres joined" → "the saxophone, Patsy Torres joined" with the wikilink
- Done
- Wikilink trumpet
- Done
- Pipe Thomas Jefferson High School to Thomas Jefferson High School (San Antonio)
- Done
- "a year later joined her sister's band, Blue Harmony, as" → "a year later, joined her sister's band Blue Harmony, as"
- Done
- "Her sister influenced her" → "She influenced Torres"
- Done
- "Torres eventually toured with Canales and the two bonded," → "The two eventually toured together and former a bond,"
- Done
- "who signed the band in" → "who signed Blue Harmony in"
- Done
- "provided the band with" → "provided Blue Harmony with"
- Done
Music career success (1983–1991)
[edit]- Mention the year she signed with Cara Records
- The book does not provide a year she signed with Cara.
- Change to Budweiser and pipe to Budweiser trademark dispute
- Done
- "She released her second album" → "She subsequently released her second album"
- Done
- "The group disbanded in" → "They disbanded in"
- Done
- "the singer remained touring" → "though the singer remained touring"
- Done
- Pipe keyboards to Keyboard instrument
- Done
- Wikilink bass guitar
- Done
- Wikilink hard rock
- Done
- "She produced her own music video" → "The singer produced her own music video" with the wikilink
- Done
- Pipe Little Joe y la Familia to Little Joe (singer)
- Done
- "Her single "Amor Con Amor"" → "The singer's single "Amor Con Amor""
- Done
Advocacy and The Positive Force Tour (1990–1994)
[edit]- "Her Positive Force Tour campaigned" → "The singer's Positive Force Tour campaigned"
- Done
- "includes mini skits," → "included mini skits,"
- Done
- "She spoke out" → "Torres spoke out"
- Done
- Pipe AIDS to HIV/AIDS
- Done
- "She has inspired" → "The singer has inspired"
- Done
- Does the received part mean she received this or her fans? If the latter, then reword but elsewise keep as current.
- Done
- "female singer" while another" → "female singer", while another"
- Done
- "three different national shows including" → "three different national shows, including"
- Done
- "in University of the Incarnate Word where" → "in the University of the Incarnate Word, where"
- Done
- "In 1990, she signed with" → "In 1990, Torres signed with" per this being a new para
- Done
- Add what year the album was released
- Done
- Pipe WEA Latina to Warner Music Latina
- Done
- Pipe country to Country music
- Done
- "She also became the" → "The singer also became the"
- Done
- "She is considered a" → "Torres is considered a"
- Done
- Introduce Con Todo El Corazon; is this her second studio album under the label, an EP, or something else?
- Done
- "she helped the "Tejano wave" in 1994 with her "crowd-pleasing concerts."" → "the singer helped the "Tejano wave" in 1994 with her "crowd-pleasing concerts"." per MOS:QUOTE
- Done
Decline of Tejano music (1995–present)
[edit]- The murder article should only be linked on "shooting death", so link Selena to herself
- Done
- "Radio stations in the United States" → "Radio stations in the US" per MOS:US
- Done
- Pipe regional Mexican music to Regional styles of Mexican music
- Done
- "the song was chosen by" → "while the song was chosen by"
- Done
- "of the city."" → "of the city"." per MOS:QUOTE
- Done
- Pipe BMI to Broadcast Music, Inc.
- Done
- "Torres signed with indie" → "Torres signed with indie label" with the pipe, also why is the label named differently here then in the infobox?
- Done
- "She was named the" → "Torres was named the"
- Done
- Pipe Mammogram to Mammography
- Done
- "Mi Amiga" sponsored" → "Mi Amiga", sponsored"
- Done
- Pipe Susan G. Komen Foundation to Susan G. Komen for the Cure
- Done
- [35] does not back up all of the info before it
- Yes it does
- "She also served as" → "The singer also served as"
- Done
- "and performed with symphonies." → "and perform with symphonies."
- Done
- "to continue to dream"." → "to continue to dream."" since this is a full sentence
- Done
- Pipe Mexican American to Mexican Americans
- Done
- The gap sentence is not backed up by [38]
- Removed
- "album with the lead single" → "album, with the lead single" with the wikilink
- Done
- "[in Tejano music]". showcasing" → "[in Tejano music]", showcasing"
- Done
Personal life
[edit]- Remove comma before David Lucero, however the exact date is not sourced
- Done
- "for Lucero in 1994, Torres" → "for Lucero in 1994; Torres"
- Done
- "my one and only."" → "my one and only"." per MOS:QUOTE
- Done
- "She believes in" → "The singer has belief in"
- Done
Discography
[edit]- Good
See also
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks strong at 24.2%!!!
Works cited
[edit]- I'm not sure about the reliability of the YouTube video; is that really the account of the awards show because I see no verification?
- The official website does link it to their YouTube page.
External links
[edit]- Good
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold until all of the issues are fixed; the lead stuck out as expansive but I made suggestions to help fix that! --K. Peake 10:00, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
- I have replied to some of your inquiries and fixed most issues. Best – jona ✉ 15:24, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
- ✓ Pass now, I briefly copyedited but slick job from you! --K. Peake 08:00, 19 July 2022 (UTC)