Talk:Party (Beyoncé song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 18:15, 25 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I love this song, so I shall be reviewing this. —DAP388 (talk) 18:15, 25 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Lyrically, 'Party' features Knowles as the female protagonist in the mood for some loving as she references to a get-together." This sentence has some juvenile wording, and given that some of it is a direct quote from a publication, it should be reworded. Try this, "Lyrically, 'Party' gives ode to political themes such as feminism and sexual empowerment." Done
"'Party' was well received by contemporary music critics, who praised André 3000's verse. They commended the assertiveness and sensuality with which Knowles sings, and praised the production handled by West." This can all be put together, given that it covers the same subject. Like before, there is some awkward phrasing, and the flow is a bit erratic and choppy here. How about this, "Party' was well received by contemporary music critics, who praised André 3000's verses, as well as the production handled by West and Knowles' emphatic, yet sensual vocals." Done
There is an extra quotation mark between "though" and "'Party'". Done
In that same sentence, I'm not getting what is being said. Are you trying to say that it wasn't released as a single?

The original version of the song wasn't released as a single. It managed to chart on the Hot 100 and the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs just with radio support.

"They initially recorded beginning stages of "Party" to see what kind of a working relationship might form." Add "the" between "recorded" and "beginning".
"On June 6, 2011, 'Party' leaked on the internet followed by the whole album, three weeks prior to its official release date, scheduled for June 28, 2011." Add a "which was" before "scheduled".
"'Countdown' was nevertheless not sent to urban radio on that date." Source?

There is a period in lieu of a comma after "Human League song".
"After that she has chanted the chorus for the second time" –> "After chanting the chorus for a second time"

"Matthew Perpetua of Rolling Stone showed appreciation for André 3000's performance and the song itself." "Showed appreciation" sounds a bit awkward. "Appreciated" would be better in this case.
"Calling 'Party' as 'a proudly retro slice of R&B'." "As" is not used in the correct context. Switching "calling" with "describing".
"Ricky Schweitzer of One Thirty BPM also showed high favorism for 'Party', writing." Looks like there's a typo here, as "favorism" isn't a word. How about this, "Ricky Schweitzer of One Thirty BPM also applauded 'Party', writing."

"The following week, it sold 17,995 downloads, which enabled it ascend to number 19 where it peaked." –> Add "to" between "it" and "ascend".
"Accordingly, the song received the airplay greatest gainer title and moved from number 33 to number 20 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart." I think you mean "concurrently" or "subsequently" instead of "accordingly".
"After its release as a single, 'Party' surged to number 57 on the Hot 100, climbing 18 places, for the week ending November 12, 2011." I thought "Party" was never released as a single.

Mamas should be in quotations, as it is a name created by Beyonce.
Remove the comma between "May" and "2012".
"Rebecca Thomas of MTV News, described the performance," There's an unneeded comma between "News" and "described".

Remove the comma between "songwriter" and "Eliza".
Unless you were trying to add specific dates, remove the commas after seen in "January 2012" and February 2012".

"Music critics generally praised the retro-themed visuals, further commending the fact that she proves she can bring a party without elaborate choreography, high fashion or cinematic elements." "Bring a party" should be quoted, as it derives from a direct quote from Los Angeles Times's Matt Donnelly.

Since it was already established that J. Cole replaced Andre 3000 in the "Party" remix, I don't the bit about Andre not being in the video is necessary.

That's it. The nomination will be on hold for seven days until these issues are fixed. —DAP388 (talk) 00:16, 27 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All

Done.

Looks good. Happy to pass this one. —DAP388 (talk) 00:55, 27 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]