Talk:Pan (genus)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aiken Drum 13:18, 4 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Why is the name cited? That should be done later on.

Lead

Does not adequately summarize the article. The bulleted list needs converting to prose.

Evolutionary relationship

"These two species are the closest living evolutionary relatives to humans, sharing a common ancestor with humans six million years ago". Which two species? Humans are mentioned already. I'm confused.
Last part is unsourced.

Fossils

Sourced to one reference. Is that appropriate?

Anatomy and physiology

"the female is somewhat smaller" How much smaller?
Chimp or chimpanzee? Capitalized or not?
What's a bonobo? And same as above.
Some of it is unsourced, including the last sentence.

Behaviors

Section needs more information, such as reproduction.

Social structure

Alpha, capitalized or not?
Why is 'dominant male' in quotes?
"Its within a male chimpanzee's character to display in an attempt to show strength and recognition from others which may be fundamental to holding on to status" Confusing sentence.
"Its often the females who choose the alpha male" Confusing sentence.
"For a male chimpanzee to win the alpha status he must gain acceptance from the females in the community as they are the ones who actually dictate the way the lifestyles are set up (the females are the ones who ensure the survival of the next generation. They have to make sure that their group is going to places that supply them with enough food)." Please remove the parenthesis.
All unsourced.

Intelligence

One sentence as a paragraph. Please split it up.

Tool use

"Recent research", "A recent study revealed", "it was believed" All very weaselly.

Empathy

"Recent studies have shown..." Weaselly.
Second part is one long sentence, and the whole section seems a bit short.

Communication

Short: could be merged with section below.

Laughter in apes

Just one ref, might need more.

History

"Chimps as well as other apes had also been purported to have been known to Western writers in ancient times, but mainly as myths and legends on the edge of European and Arab societal consciousness, mainly through fragmented and sketchy accounts of European adventurers." Two "mainly" in a row, try something else, or restructuring.
"Apes are mentioned variously" What does that mean?
Most paragraphs are unsourced.

Studies

"As of November 2007...", "As of 2006..." Any update?
Very US-centric.

Popular culture

Nothing about PG Tips adverts from the 1950s to the end of the 1990s?

References

Please ensure all use consistent fields. Some just have a URL link.

I think this has got some quite a way to go yet, so I'm going to regretfully fail it for now. Once you've fixed the issues, you can renominate it. Aiken Drum 16:00, 4 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]