Talk:Paddy Fox/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 08:57, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I will take this one, comments to follow in the next few days. Zawed (talk) 08:57, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for the length of time taken to come back to this. Fox is an interesting chap, clearly very industrious and charitable. My comments are as follows:

Lead

Seems a little long given overall length of article.

Agreed and trimmed

British Army should be added into the infobox.

Added

Early life and career

"born at a racing stables": should that be plural given the use of "a"?

It's common in (British?) horseracing to say "a racing stables", I presume it's to emphasise that it's a bigger operation rather than just a shed with horses in it

link Belfast, Oxfordshire, British Army, General Officer Commanding, possibly Northumbrian District

All done

Recruiter

link Peterlee, County Durham

Done

A explanation of what a Long Service Recruiter is probably warranted.

Removed it, the only mention of the term online was in reports on Fox so probably a mistake by the journalist

The LG cite should go to page 7392, not 7391.

Oops, fixed

"and bar" bar should be linked to Medal bar.

Linked only "bar" to avoid run-on with the medal link

"Fox's BEM citation commended him for setting a "splendid example of the Army to the public"": the quoted portion within this section should be cited. I note that the LG cite doesn't say this, I wonder if you are referring to the recommendation for the BEM?

Yes, you are right. The source used "citation statement" which is apparently part of the nomination form, I've amended to clarify.

Retirement

If there are articles for them, link St Cuthbert's Church and Lucy Portman

No articles

If known, suggest adding place of burial.

Alas, I couldn't find any record if he was buried or cremated

Images

These are all appropriately tagged.

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 09:22, 25 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review Zawed (and no worries about the time taken, we're all busy). I think I've answered everything above.

This all looks good. I am passing this as a GA as I believe that it meets the relevant criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 04:53, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]