Talk:Ozymandias (Breaking Bad)/GA1
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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 03:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 03:30, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
- Hi, @Some Dude From North Carolina: I've addressed the below comments. DMT biscuit (talk) 18:40, 10 March 2021 (UTC)
General comments
[edit]- Change all uses of Indiewire to IndieWire.
- Change all uses of TIME to Time.
- The dates in the references should be consistent with the prose so add the "Use mdy dates" template.
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Infobox looks good.
- I would remove the link to cliffhanger in the first paragraph per WP:OVERLINK.
- That being said, I would also add a link to "To'hajiilee" in the last sentence of the first paragraph.
- "freedoms then she" → "freedom than she"
- Remove the comma after "much analysis".
- Add a comma after "depiction of redemption".
- "televsion" → "television"
- "won the" → "won the award for"
Plot
[edit]- Plot is under 400 words, so that passes WP:FILMPLOT.
- Remove the comma after "kill him anyway".
- "leads to" doesn't sound right. Can I suggest changing it to "causes"?
- The double use of "White home" sounds repetitive, so reword it.
Production
[edit]- In the image's caption, change "Breaking Bad" to Breaking Bad.
- Link Moira Walley-Beckett, Rian Johnson, "Fly", Betsy Brandt, and Anna Gunn.
- "Giligan" → "Series creator Vince Gilligan"
- "Fly." → "Fly".
- "self described" → "self-described"
- "thoughout" → "throughout"
- "enamoured" → "enamored"
- "inconvient" → "inconvenient"
- "or Walt" → "nor Walt"
- "his short" → "his hair short" (avoid confusion)
- "by placed" → "be placed"
- Add a comma after "barrel".
- "off screen" → "off-screen"
- "Coexecutive" → "Co-executive"
- A reference is needed for the first sentence of the last paragraph (recite it).
Analysis
[edit]- "of audience" → "of the audience"
- The quote box for the phone call should be under the header.
- "analysed" → "analyzed"
- "view it a ploy" → "view it as a ploy"
- "sympathise" → "sympathize"
Reception
[edit]- Are the mini-captions necessary?
- Link Attack on Titan in the note.
- "build up" → "build-up"
- Remove the comma after "IGN".
- "arc of victim" → "arc as a victim"
- "on the each member of White family's arcs" → "on each member of the White family's arcs"
- "appalued" → "applauded"
- "as she begun" → "as she began"
- "The show's honesty" → "the show's honesty"
- "was described" → "were described"
- "enprisoniment" → "imprisonment"
- Specify the Primetime Emmy Awards ceremony where they won the three awards.
References
[edit]- Archive all archivable sources (either manually or with this tool).
- Link each website used in every reference.
- Currently there is a "reference invoked but never defined" so fix that.
- There's also a "permanent dead link", so I would find a replacement or remove its content within the article.
- Mark references from Esquire with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from Los Angeles Times with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from Rolling Stone with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from Vanity Fair with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from Vulture with "|url-access=limited".
- Mark references from The New Yorker with "|url-access=registration".
- Add the "|via=YouTube" parameter to the reference after "earth".
- "GoldDerby.com" → "Gold Derby"
- "EW.com" → "Entertainment Weekly"
Progres
[edit]GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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