Talk:Overprotected/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tomica1111 • Question Existing?• contribs • count) 17:09, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Will start soon ...

Review comments

Article wide

There are two disambiguation links and one suspicious link

Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 20:07, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

No issues

Lead

unlink studio album per Wikipedia:OVERLINK
The dance-pop song, speaks about a girl ... ---> Lyrically, the dance-pop song, is about a girl ...
A remix created by producer Rodney Jerkins was released in the United States and Canada instead of the original version of the song in April 1, 2002. ---> Not real need for instead of the original version of the song, the song was already released, and later it was re-released, like the "S&M (Remix)". You can put the name of the remix.
with several noticing the song as way for Spears to "break free" ---> Remove it.
It was commercially successful ... ---> The song was commercial success ...
By me, the whole paragraph is a little too messy. Peaking inside should be exchanged with only peaked. About the remix of the song, did the song charted in the original version at the first time in US and CAN? By me, yes, so there is no need about where "The Darkchild Remix" was released... Also the certifications should be removed from the lead and implement in the Chart Performance. I suggest total re-writing.
while singing about being overprotected ---> No need for that, remove it.
The music video the remix version, directed by Chris Applebaum, shows the singer dancing and having fun with friends. ---> The music video for the remix version of the song was directed by American directed Chris Applebaum and portrays Britney dancing and having fun with her friends.
During the performance, Spears was dancing to the song surrounded by laser lights, while a video backdrop showed images of a bald Spears, with her hair growing as the song went along. ---> The performance featured Spears dancing surrounded by laser lights while images of Spears bald were shown on the screens. No need for the hair thing.
on 2001's Dream Within a Dream Tour ---> on her 2001's Dream Within a Dream Tour
on 2004's The Onyx Hotel Tour ---> on her 2004's The Onyx Hotel Tour

Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 20:06, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Good job ;) !

Background and composition

Since the Background section is small, link the The Darkchild Remix in it.

Not done I've merged the composition to the background and expanded the remixes section. Take a look. :) - Sauloviegas (talk) 20:06, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

[...] , while additional recording was done on June 2001 at Battery Studios in New York City, New York. ---> Start new sentence: Additional recording was done on June 2001 at Battery Studios in New York City, New York.
The song was later mixed by Martin and Rami at Maratne Studios, while background vocals were provided by Spears and Bosslady. ---> Background vocals were provided by Spears and Bosslady, with the song being mixed by Martin and Rami at Maratne Studios.
revealed that she can relate to the song ---> concluded (and the same sentence)
In 2003, the song received a Grammy nomination for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance ---> It should be placed in the critical reception, not in Background.
musicnotes.com ---> Capital M
The song's lyrics speaks about a girl ---> Lyrically, the song is about a girl (the same as in the lead)
Music critics also noticed europop influences on the song. ---> Europop should be put in songs genres.

Remixes

however, the song was only released on April 1, 2002 ---> Why only? Remove it ....

Now, about those two audio files. First, The Darkchild remix audio should be removed cause it fails Wikipedia:Non-free content criteria, and about the second, change the caption in "A 19-second sample of the song which lyrics reference to an overprotection and manipulation imposed to the main persona, that actually referring to Spears' career"

Critical Reception

Jocelyn Vena of MTV said that, in 2001, ---> remove "in 2001"
While reviewing Britney (2001) ---> Why reviewing singers third studio album Britney (2001) ...
David Browne of Entertainment Weekly considered "Overprotected" Spears' "voice hovering between testiness and aggression", while commenting that both "Cinderella" and the song are "top-dollar variations on the hits off her first two albums", and saying that the lyrics "rings absurd coming from someone who was grooming herself for multimedia stardom even before she auditioned for The Mickey Mouse Club. ---> David Browne from Entertainment Weekly" about "Overprotected" stated that "Spears' voice is hovering between testiness and aggression". He later commented that both "Cinderella" and the song are "top-dollar variations on the hits off her first two albums", while concluding about the lyrics that "ring absurd coming from someone who was grooming herself for multimedia stardom even before she auditioned for The Mickey Mouse Club.
Critic Robert Christgau considered ---> Critic Robert Christgau also considered

Commercial performance

"Overprotected" achieved commercial success in Europe. ---> "Overprotected" was commercial success in Europe.
It also entered on the Pop Songs chart, where it reached number thirty-seven ---> It also entered on the Pop Songs chart, where it peaked at number thirty-seven
In Canada, it peaked ---> In Canada, the song peaked ...

Music video

we see segments of Spears ---> vague wording, re-worded
exiting the building. ---> and exits the building.
It is late now, and heavy rain begins to fall. ---> Also vague wording, the section is full with it. Copy-edited it a bit

Live Performances

first time on 2001's Dream Within a Dream Tour. ---> first time on Britney's Dream Within a Dream Tour (2001).
was later ---> When is that later?
The Onyx Hotel Tour ---> The Onyx Hotel Tour (2004)
Spears also performed "Overprotected" on Euro Disney. The performance was recorded and included on the enhanced section of Britney (2001). ---> Find a third-party source or if you can't do that, just remove it.

Track listing

The Singles Collection Boxset Single

   "Overprotected" — 3:19
   "Overprotected" (The Darkchild Remix) — 3:20

SOURCE?!

Credits and personnel

Do it by the example of "Rehab" ...

Charts

Remove the [A] note, and maybe just write as it is here, it breaks the chart ...
The certification reference for France and Sweden put at the country name ....
Also put the certification categories in the end of the article

References

reflist|2 ---> changed it with Reflist|colwidth=30em (use big { brackets of course)
Actually the publisher for MTV is Viacom.

I disagree here. MTV Networks is best. Jivesh • Talk2Me 19:04, 9 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Don't use overlinking at the references. Only link at first time.
Mmmm Publisher for Amazon, Staples, Inc., not sure check it again
Reference number 16, wrong publisher
Reference number 3, split work and publisher ---> work=Ultratop 50 ; publisher=Hung Medien ... same with the similar references
Reference number 25, MTV is always Cite web, not cite news
Reference number 46, work=ARIA Charts, publisher= Australian Recording Industry Association
Reformat 47 and 48 ... look awful
author and work? decide... I would go by work, you should be consistent in the references, definitely
Certification references also look akward, visit some FL discography and change them
Note, when it comes to the reference work, if the work is published edition (newspaper, magazine) it should be italicized, and that would go automatically, however if the work is online edition than it should be normal text that you done it by italicizing the work [for example work=USA Today (in the reference will go work=USA Today), however when you put work=Slant Magazine, you should make it work=Slant Magazine, so in the reference will be shown like work=Slant Magazine] ... I hope you understood me :)

Do you know what is normally italicized and what is not? Let me explain. If you want to know whether Entertainment Weekly is italicized, go to its page on Wikipedia and see how the title is written, that is, whether it is in Italics or not. If yes, the reference formatting should be

|work=[[Entertainment Weekly]] |publisher=[[Time Inc.]]

If no, then the reference formatting should be done as follows

|publisher=[[Entertainment Weekly]]. [[Time Inc.]]

Please my friend, be frank. If you did not understand, tell me without hesitating. We just want to help you. Feel free to ask again if need be. Please. No one will make fun of you. We all arrived to this stage through the teachings of someone else. Jivesh • Talk2Me 19:13, 9 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Actually everybody has it's formula. This is what I learnt from Nathan. But it can also be used your case. Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 23:35, 9 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I was actually talking to the nominator. I am sorry if i offended you. It was not intentional. Jivesh • Talk2Me 02:46, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

No, it' cool. :) Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 09:12, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Great i love your cool attitude. Always remain like this. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:17, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am always nice and cool with good people like you Jivesh :)! Btw I know it is not the place, but I hope you are continuing with "Rehab" today. Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 09:18, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yes at night. Right now, i have to go to buy some gifts for my cousin. I will go to his place today. But when i return, i will do it. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:33, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Concerning the references, you better format them the same way i do because the day a bot will run through the article, he will remove all the '''' from the work parameters. I have already experienced that and i prefer not to tell you how it was to format more than 1000 references on all Beyonce's articles. Jivesh • Talk2Me 10:47, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Really?! I didn't have idea that that was actually happening. Well than definitely I will use your advice. Thank You :) ! Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 10:49, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You are welcome (as always). Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:01, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

External links

Changed the VEVO one, with YouTube, not all countries have Vevo.

Conclusion

All in all the article has a lot of issues. I mentioned them, and I will give you one week to address them. I'm not home from tomorrow until Wednesday, so you don't have to hurry up, take your time and do them. Personally, I think that the references deserve attention a LOT ! Re-work them. If everything's alright I will pass the article. :) ! Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 00:34, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry it's taking me so long to continue the GAR, I'm very busy lately at school and also at Wikipedia. I'll continue this as soon as possible. :) - Sauloviegas (talk) 09:24, 8 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Take your time :) ! Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 10:00, 8 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

There is no need to withdraw the nomination my friend. Take your time and fix all these issues. Some nominators even take more than one month. So why can't you? Talk to Tommy, he is nice and i assure you that he will give you more time. If you need help, i will be very happy to help you. Let me know. Jivesh • Talk2Me 19:06, 9 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, he can take his time. It's on him definitely. I will let him how much he want ! :) Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 23:33, 9 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am sorry, but I am failing this. :/ It's nominators will. Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:14, 10 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]