Talk:Ottoman ironclad Lütf-ü Celil/GA1
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 14:38, 15 March 2017 (UTC)
I'll start this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:38, 15 March 2017 (UTC)
- No DABs
- Originally ordered by the Khedivate of Egypt, an autonomous vassal state of the Ottoman Empire, the vessel was built by the French Forges et Chantiers de la Gironde shipyard between 1868 and 1870. The central Ottoman government forced Egypt to surrender Lüft-ü Celil while she was still under construction. Suggest combining these, and possibly removing details of builder and date to shorten the resulting sentence.
- How about Originally ordered by the Khedivate of Egypt, an autonomous vassal state of the Ottoman Empire, the central Ottoman government forced Egypt to surrender Lüft-ü Celil while she was still under construction at the French Forges et Chantiers de la Gironde shipyard.?
- Looks good.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:58, 27 March 2017 (UTC)
- How about Originally ordered by the Khedivate of Egypt, an autonomous vassal state of the Ottoman Empire, the central Ottoman government forced Egypt to surrender Lüft-ü Celil while she was still under construction at the French Forges et Chantiers de la Gironde shipyard.?
- Tell the reader that the engine is a steam engine, both in the infobox and main body.
- Done
- 225 mm (8.9 in) typo? smoothbore or rifled?
- Seems L&G are a bit careless with their figures
- 110 enlisted what?
- Fixed
- who on 5 June 1867, commas after "who" and 1867
- Good catch
- Link launched
- Done
- 6-inch (150 mm) you know what to do here
- Whoops. Thanks Sturm. Parsecboy (talk) 12:10, 27 March 2017 (UTC)