Talk:Os (Fringe)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Queenieacoustic (talk) 16:22, 9 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Plot

...believing it the instrument that will activate the soul magnets and call forth Bell. Word missing between "it" and "the." ...revealing herself to now be possessed by William Bell. Unnecessary to include his first name, as it has already been mentioned before in the section.

Production

The return of the William Bell character to the series was actually inspired by... "Actually" seems a bit redundant. ...but in so doing he causes a lot of damage. Sounds like it should be "in doing so," or is the quote taken directly from the site?

Reception

...for 18–49 adults... Makes it sound like 18 up to 49 adults watched the episode. For example, you can re-word it to 'for adults between ages 18 and 49'. The episode's reviews were generally positive. "The episode's reviews" sounds a bit off to me. You could change it to "Reviews for the episode" or "Critics reacted positively towards the episode," etc.' ...especially praising actress Anna Torv imitation... Typo.

Remember, if a sentence ends in a quote, place the punctuation inside the quote. (For example, "Joey said, 'this tea is very good.'")

Lead

...for those 18-49. Sounds clunky. You could reword it to "those between ages 18-49," for example.

In conclusion

Looks good. Some minor issues, but other than that, the article is good to go. I'll put it on hold for seven days so that the necessary fixes can be made. Good luck! Queenieacoustic (talk) 16:22, 9 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I have made all of your suggested fixes. Thanks for the review! Ruby2010 comment! 18:07, 9 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Pass. Nice job! Queenieacoustic (talk) 18:33, 9 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]