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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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This review is transcluded from Talk:Ortotherium/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 15:24, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:24, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, thank you! AFH (talk) 16:23, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

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  • The external phylogeny (sloth family, etc) is currently not quite helpfully diagrammed, as the tree is rooted in the Folivora but the text discusses Edentata which is not shown. I suggest we add Xenarthra (=Edentata), Cingulata, Pilosa, and Vermilingua to the base of the tree (details and sources are provided in [{Xenarthra]], giving something like this:
Xenarthra

Cingulata (armadillos and allies)

Pilosa

Vermilingua (anteaters)

Folivora

Megalocnidae (Caribbean sloths)

Nothrotheriidae (ground sloths)

Megatheriidae (giant ground sloths)

Megalonychidae

Bradypodidae (three-toed sloths)

Scelidotheriidae (two-toed sloths)

("Edentata")  
  • Conversely, the tree gives unnecessary (distracting) detail of 4 species of Bradypodidae, not relevant to this article: just Bradypodidae would be sufficient and better.
  • "Large waterways in South America erupted" --- please reword.
  • A distribution map would be useful. It would be nice to show related groups as well as Ortotherium.
  • "Mandibles and teeth" would be (much) more readable with a simple diagram of a typical Xenarthran jaw, labelled with "Diastema", "Molariform", "Caniniform", "Alveoli", etc.
  • "Paleoenvironment" would benefit from some sort of illustration. If there isn't a Duria Antiquior image, perhaps we can find something that suggests the ancient biotic environment, even if it's just a gallery with one of each of the major sorts of beast mentioned, i.e. a crocodilian, a notoungulate, a litoptern, a glyptodont... (and you might use a photo of tidal mudflats on the Amazon, too, maybe something like thumb|Pneumatóforos e Marismas - Praia do Belo would do, there are surely others).
  • The images are properly licensed. Your drawing of the dentary does look as if it's smiling!
  • The refs I checked are fine.
  • There are 14 citations in the lead; there seems no good reason to have any of them up there, and many of them exist only up there contrary to policy, so I suggest we move all of them into the article body please.
  • A couple of refs [31], [38] SHOUT IN UPPERCASE and need to be reformatted.
  • The Ameghino refs should be linked to his article using |author-link=Florentino Ameghino.

Summary

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This is a well-constructed article, and I've really only found the most minor things to mention, with a few optional suggestions. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:40, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

This should be good. AFH (talk) 21:10, 10 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
OK. Next time, if you could mark under each "Comment" when you've done it, that makes checking much easier. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:59, 11 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
added several images AFH (talk) 00:52, 11 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Nice work! Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:59, 11 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.